Ever After Doesn't Last Forever
by Skyla1
Summary: Everyone thought they had finally found their fairytale ending, but life is never that simple is it? [COMPLETED]
1. Where we last left off

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, because if I did I would be sipping a daquiri on the beach in the Bahamas swimming in my own filthy richness.  
  
Chapter one: Where we last left off  
  
The wind blew a little harder causing sending chills up everyone's spines leading to them clutching their coats a little closer to their bodies to fight off the cold intruder. Schoolgirls ran past the window arm in arm giggling whispering their secrets between each other. The suits ran back and forth across the streets running to their next job interview or business meeting. Mothers held onto their children's hands tightly dragging them from behind hurrying to make it home in time to have dinner prepared before their husbands got home.  
  
A woman sat alone in the busy café staring blankly out the window with her chin resting on one hand and stirring her tea with the other watching all of this. She had long wavy brown hair that drooped down to her waist framing her petite frame. Today she had decided to let it all hang down her back instead of her more professional style of an up-do. She was dressed rather plainly but, she stood out from the normal customers in the café. She wore a silk cream colored knee length skirt with a pale pink top. The other customers hurrying to run in a grab a cup of coffee to go couldn't help but slow their steps upon walking by to capture this image of beauty. She didn't notice this one bit for she was lost in her own thoughts.  
  
It was on rare days that's he would find herself in one of those moods, gripping with her present and past colliding with each other like great waves of the ocean. Her face was fixed, cold and expressionless. From far away some might have mistook her for an older woman with the hardened features of a face that held many stories of hardship and suffering more mature women gave off. It was only for her large brown doe like eyes that gave away her true youthful age. When the waitress walked over to ask if everything was satisfactory the woman's mask broke for a second to let out a little smile and a nod. Then once again her faced reverted to it's previous look.  
  
My name is Makino Tsukushi. This year I am 22 years old as of exactly today. I know that when many people see me they would think I am much older than I look, but I take that as a compliment nowadays. My entire life I've always been mistaken for much younger, so it's good to have a change of pace. It's been 6 long years since I left Japan. It seems as nothing has changed since I left, like time stood still the day I left here, since I left them.  
  
Suddenly, a group of girls dressed in yellow jackets and brown skirts, the uniform of Eitoku Gakuen, walked into the café signaling their entrance with a tinkle from the bell over the door. The girls walked right past her giving her little notice and took a table across from hers. She could hear their shrill voices bragging about the latest Prada or Porsche they had gotten heir parents to buy them.  
  
Something's never change do they, Tsukushi laughed to herself. I still remember the days back when I was at Eitoku. It was ages ago, when I was a first year student struggling to get by. It was that year that everything changed forever.  
  
The images played through her mind like watching a movie, only she the star of it. Running into the school's bully, the most obnoxious boy on the face of this planet . Being almost raped. Being red-tagged leading to brutal beatings and tricks by the to the other students. Being rejected by a first crush for his own first love. Betrayed by 'friends'. Her first kiss Finding her first love in a worst enemy. A crush that became her friend and later her rock. The two playboys who challenged her to constantly to see the world with open eyes. Fighting his family to stay together. Finally being free to love each other.  
  
Her body quivered at the rush of memories. There were so many painful memories she had buried deep inside never wanting to open that door again. However, so many happy things had occurred that year to that she could not deny to herself or her heart. A smile curled up on her lips as she took another sip of her tea.  
  
That first year at Eitoku was probably my finest moment, but at the same time the beginning of my downfall. I remember how I begged and pleaded Mama and Papa to just let me go to Eirin with Yuuki. Maybe if I had won that battle things wouldn't be the way they are now, but nothing can change the past. That first semester I just kept telling myself "Only two more years until I graduate and then I'll be free". Anonymity was all I had to stick to, but fate didn't intend that did it? Who knew that Eitoku would lock me into its world of the young, wealthy elite struggling to break free of its grasps. I was thrust into its world, as well as the world of the F4. Doumyouji Tsukasa. Hanazawa Rui. Nishikado Soujiro. Mimasaka Akira. Todou Shizuka. Ookawahara Shigeru. Doumyouji Tsubaki. Endou Makikko. Aoike Kazuya. Matsuoka Yuki. These were the people who would become my family and all of it would be shattered by one woman's whim. Doumyouji Kaede.  
  
The name sent shivers up through her body. It was fresh in her mind the memory of that day, she laid eyes upon that evil woman.  
  
She slapped Doumouji for saying I was the woman he loved. It was her mission to destroy us. It was by her doing that my family, Yuki's family, and Kazuya's family were slowly destroyed. For what? To keep a diseased weed out of her polished family. It was only under my friends' efforts were Doumyouji and I able to be free to love one another, but all along she knew things would never work out.  
  
It wasn't until returning from that trip around the world with Doumouji did I discover my true self. Now that I think back, that first year we were together I wasn't myself. I was a lost confused child swimming against the tide giving up only to be swept away to drown deep into nothingness. It was the first year that shrouded my vision of the truth, but it was the second year that opened my eyes to the truth. I don't want to think about that first year, but of that second year. That is where my story begins and where we last left off.. 


	2. The end to a LONG trip

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters cuz if I did I would not be killing myself in school. : (  
  
Chapter 2: The end to a LONG trip  
  
We had fought so long and hard to be together, and standing on that ship watching Shigeru swimming to Kazuya's boat where the rest of F4 and Yuki were waiting made me realize something. I had given up. I had given up on our love. It was only for the note that Rui passed to me saying it was from Doumyouji that made me jump on that ship. My friends believed more in our love than I did. They pushed me to remember what I had forgotten along the way. I really did love that idiot and nothing else mattered. They gave me back my weed spirit to fight till the end. I could feel the blood rising to my head at reading that note.  
  
Yo Makino,  
I only married that monkey girl because my Mom made me do it. We'll be going on our honeymoon around the world. I'll go along with this for a little while until things quiet down, but as soon as we reach the nearest port I'm jumping ship and making my way back for you. That monkey girl will have no trouble finding another man to entertain her, so she won't know the difference. Wait for me. Later.  
  
Tsukasa  
  
I don't know what got into me, but at that moment clutching that letter I had to go after him. I wasn't even controlling my own body when I jumped off the pier, grabbed onto the anchor as it was pulling up, and climbed aboard. Then the only thing I could do was punch him in the face like that first time at Eitoku. Little did I know I had walked right into the plan that F3 and the others had planned all along. The next thing I knew Shigeru had jumped off the ship into the water in true Shigeru style, wedding dress, veil and all.  
  
Standing next to Doumyouji we didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. We thought for sure that his mother would send the navy in after him dragging him back to Japan. It wasn't until we headed into the ship did we for the first time figure out what had happened.  
  
Inside the honeymoon suite, Shigeru and F3 had left a manila envelope marked "Akira and Soujiro's Master Plan" then a big X across it with "Our Master Plan" written underneath. The contents inside explained everything. Believe me, I was truly amazed how clever those two playboys could be, but I had to admit that in the back of my head I knew that Rui was the brains of the operation. Shigeru had arranged for the marriage certificate and everything to be fake. They were never really married. How they managed to pull that over Doumyouji Kaede I will never know. Rui forged Doumyouji's horrible handwriting to write that note knowing I would get angry. Everything fit into place.  
  
The best part of it all was our savior, Tsubaki. I don't know what she said to her mother, but it worked. Soon after reading the note we got a call from her. She was out of breath and could hardly speak, but managed to scream into the phone, "Mother's left. She said that you two are free to do whatever you please!"  
  
That was the last ok we needed. We were given the green light to go. For once, we didn't have to be a secret couple, and we were for once free.  
  
For the next three months, I saw things I never thought I, a poor girl, would ever see. We traveled through Europe, Asia, and Australia. Although we had our little fights along the way, Doumyouji would always end our squabbles by simply wrapping his arms around me whispering, "aishteru". We were in love. We were happy. What more could I have wanted?  
  
I think it must have been two thirds into the trip did I sense the dangers that lie ahead. I mean I loved Doumyouji, but spending every minute of the day and night with him was more than I could take. I refused to let him sleep in the same bed as me, of course, but the last thing I saw at night was him on the couch and the first thing I saw in the morning was him. It came to a point where I would make excuses to be alone saying I had womanly problems, which always cause him to jump five feet away from me excusing himself to do something else to get away.  
  
Then his jealousy was another problem. It was mind numbingly boring at times during those long bouts at sea. He was used to being a rich, spoiled little boy wasting hours of the day sitting around. I couldn't do it. I wasn't raised that way, so I decided to find little things to learn round the boat. On board they hired a pianist, Thomas, who would play for us every night over dinner. Out of sheer boredom I asked him to teach me to play the piano. We would secretly meet while Doumyouji was swimming or working out in the gym. I didn't want him to know. I had mentioned to him wanting to learn to play before, which lead to a disastrous lesson from him. Punches and insults were thrown ending up with us not speaking for a week. Thomas was kind and patient with me never scolding me for making stupid mistakes. He made me enjoy the piano.  
  
Sadly my lessons ended a few weeks after I started. I thought Doumyoji was going to swim in the pool for awhile, but he ended up coming back early and caught Thomas sitting next to me with his hands over mine guiding them over the keys. Doumyouji went into a fit of rage, fired him and threw him off the ship. Did I forget to mention that Thomas was a 60 year old man, who reminded me of my grandfather. It was sad to see him go, but inside I was a little happy he could escape. After that, the male servants aboard were a little more careful to not seem too helpful when around me.  
  
Once again I was bored and lonely. Doumyouji incessantly whined I wasn't spending enough time with him. He said I was always distracted when we went sightseeing. In reality, I was tired of depending so much on him. Even though his English was never the best, he was my only source as a translator. All those years of being refined for high society made him quite knowledgeable in a few languages. Everywhere I went I had to rely on him to talk for me. The little English I did know how to speak was always broken and leaving me the butt of many of Doumyouji's rich people poor people jokes, making me feel more insecure about it.  
  
That was when I decided to learn English on my own. With the help of one of the female servants, Miki, who had grown up in Hong Kong, she taught me to speak English and a little Chinese. There was no one else to talk to except Doumyouji, so I was forced to practice with Miki, whenever I had a free moment. I was such a quick learner that by the end of the trip I was perfectly fluent in English and even picked up a little bit of Chinese to get around.  
  
At the end of the trip, our relationship was extremely strained. I could blame it on cabin fever and being stuck in closed spaces too long. Maybe it was just the truth finally slapping me in the face with a loud smack, but I wouldn't see what was right in front of me. I was in love and like they say love makes you do stupid things.  
  
The moment I could see the port in Japan coming closer I was willing to jump ship and swim to land to get away from that idiot. Upon reaching land we were greeted by Kazuya, Yuki, Shigeru, Akira, and Soujiro..  
  
Kazuya with tears in his eyes ran up to me and wrapped his arms around me screaming, "My Tsukushi! I missed you so much. Did that Doumyouji do anything to you, my precious Tsukushi?!"  
  
"Get your hands off my woman! And she is not your Tsukushi!" Doumyouji grabbed Kazuya by the collar and tossed him aside like a piece of trash.  
  
"Don't do that to Kazuya!" I ran over to him and helped him up onto his feet. By that time he was crying like a baby whining nonsense to me about why I chose Doumyouji over him.  
  
Akira wrapped an arm around Doumyouji's shoulder grinning ear to ear with a smug look on his face. "Hey Tsukasa! Did you finally do the deed, so we can stop calling Makino a hard working virgin?".  
  
"Yeah, three moths alone on a ship with only you would have finally driven her to go to bed with a guy like you" laughed Soujiro.  
  
Doumyouji's face turned red. "Well.."  
  
"Shuddup! Don't talk about my private business!" I screamed smacking their skulls together.  
  
"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Tsukushi, we almost forgot how scary you can be." The two playboys shied away quietly rubbing their heads in pain.  
  
"Tsukushi!' screamed both Shigeru and Yuki at the same time. They went running towards me, but Shigeru got to me first squeezing me into one of her monster hugs. Yuki waited quietly behind Shigeru for her turn and just lightly hugged me.  
  
"I've missed you guys so much!" Tears welled up in my eyes. It had been way too long since I had real female friend contact. Other than Miki, I hadn't spoken to someone with a feminine perspective in ages.  
  
Yuki started to cry as well being the crybaby she was, too. "I missed you too! I got all your postcards, though. It's been lonely working in the dango shop without you." She wiped the tears away from her eyes and looked up at me with her natural, innocent face. "So how was the trip, Tsukushi?"  
  
I looked at Yuki with a little surprise thinking about the first answer that came into my mind. Most people would have answered with a cheery "Great" or "It was the greatest time of my life", but the only words that could come out of my mouth were, "It was LONG."  
  
. 


	3. The road to Hell is lined with good inte...

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or its characters cuz if I did I would be able to afford a pack of gum. : P  
  
Chapter 3: The road to Hell is lined with good intentions  
  
In the car, Soujiro was prattling on and on with Doumyouji about the trip trying to pry out any juicy details, but I didn't seem to care anymore what he found out. Not like anything serious happened the entire trip. I, on the other hand, wanted to just forget about it. All I could think about was getting home to my cozy little apartment, taking a hot shower and curling up in a ball in my cushy futon. I just stared out the window waiting to see the familiar streets leading to my home. Yuki sat next to me in the back seat with a worried face studying my blank, lost expression.  
  
"Tsukushi" Yuki whispered low enough for the two boys in front not to hear.  
  
"Hmmm..."  
  
"What's wrong? You don't seem to be yourself."  
  
"Oh. It's nothing I'm just tired and want to go home," I muttered.  
  
As the car pulled up the narrow dark streets I stepped out of the car to admire how nothing had changed much since I left. It felt good to be home after all those months out at sea. From behind our car, Akira pulled up his car and Shigeru, Akira and Kazuya stepped out. Everyone grabbed a bag and helped me carry my luggage into the little apartment.  
  
I must have completely forgotten the size of my apartment because with all the luggage we were barely able to fit inside the little room. It was funny how I didn't realize how much stuff I had acquired during the trip. Everywhere we went Douyouji insisted I buy new clothes. There were many days on that trip filled with me parading in front of him one outfit after another waiting for his approval. I must have gotten enough new clothes to last me the next ten years.  
  
"Makino, you should really consider moving out of this dump. I mean it's embarrassing. You are dating one of the wealthiest men in all of Japan and your apartment is the size of one of Tsukasa'a bathrooms." Soujiro shifted uneasily through the room trying to find a place to stand, but gave up and just took a seat on one of the trunks.  
  
Doumyouji glared at me with a look of triumph. "I offered her to move into my mansion or at least buy her a new apartment, but this stubborn woman won't let me do anything for her!"  
  
The room grew very eerily quiet at that moment. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock. It was counting off the seconds before the battle would begin. I glared hard at Soujiro causing him to break away from my stare out of fear. He had to mention the apartment, didn't he. I cursed him under my breath. Little did he know that it was a sore subject between Doumyouji and me.  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you I don't want you to buy or pay things for me. My apartment is perfectly fine! Why should it matter to you? You don't have to live here, you big idiot?"  
  
I could feel my body tensing up ready to jump on him and start a fight. We had already had this discussion so many times. Doumyouji wanted me to move into his mansion with him since he saw it as perfectly fine with his mother giving us the go ahead, but I stuck to my principles. I was not going to take any charity form him. After that idea fizzled out his next idea was to set me up in an apartment in one of the many high scale complexes his family owned. Our discussion was a grueling, heated battle and we both ended up just dropping the argument since we both knew we were just talking in circles. I tried to reason with that idiot that I had my pride and could make it on my own. I didn't want his help anyway. It was too much to rely so heavily on him for everything. I put my hands on my hips poised to fight, but it was Akira who sensed the impending doom and rushed in to break things up.  
  
"Yo, Tsukasa. Let's all go to a club to celebrate you and Makino's return. We could all use a good night of partying," Akira laughed putting his arm around Shigeru's shoulder.  
  
"Umm..yeah. Come on Tsuakasa. It'll be fun. It's been a long time since F4 has gotten together."  
  
Doumyouji's shoulders eased a bit, but I could still tell he was calculating a counter attack. "Fine. Let's go." He grabbed my wrist and began to pull me from behind against my will out the door.  
  
I stood firmly on the ground anchoring my feet to the floor. It was quite a feat on my part to be able to fight off Doumyouji's grip and strength.  
  
"Did I say I wanted to go? I'm staying here. You go by yourself if you want, but I'm going to stay right here."  
  
Doumyouji's back straightened at the sound of my words. Even with his back turned I could tell he was going to lose his temper again. He spun around and shoved his face into mine.  
  
"What do you mean you're not going! You're my girlfriend and you go where I go!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs sending the pictures on the walls to shake.  
  
"I'm tired of you telling me what to do. What to wear! Where to live! Speaking for me! It was like this the entire trip. I had a life before you and I could perfectly take care of myself. I can make my own choices and I choose not to go!"  
  
"Fine. We'll stay here and the others can go without us."  
  
"You just don't understand what I'm saying are you. No matter how much I try to make you see how I feel you don't."  
  
It was more than I could take anymore. I could feel that lump rising in my throat.. This time I did not raise my voice and break out into screams like I normally would. I was tired of fighting. It seemed like all we ever did was fight sometimes. As odd as it sounded, the fighting was what kept us together giving us the opportunity to always make up afterwards. I wasn't in the mood for one of our petty fights. This was more serious. Very calmly I pointed to the door and turned my face away. "Get out. Everyone leave. I'm tired. I just want to be alone."  
  
Doumyouji's scrunched up face relaxed. His eyes dulled. I could see the reflection of his face through the window I was focused on staring towards. He reached out his hand to touch mine, but quickly pulled back. This was not one of our normal silly arguments where he could just say, "I love you" and all would be forgotten. He knew it.  
  
His voice lowered and very calmly he replied, "I'll see you tomorrow, then."  
  
I bit my lip trying to control my emotions. I wanted to just allow myself to fall to the ground in a heap of confused tears. I could feel my legs already beginning to wobble. I steadied myself and just coldly replied, "No. I'll see you in school."  
  
I could see the devastation in his face. A part of me just wanted to turn around and run into his arms crying. For once, I wanted to make him understand just how miserable I was feeling. I was drowning.  
  
He reacted the only way he knew how to, with his anger. "FINE! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO!" He stormed out the door slamming the door behind once again causing the whole room to shake.  
  
The room went silent once again. I steadied myself once again against a table and somehow managed to find the strength to walk to the bedroom breaking the deathly silence with a click of the door closing. I sat against the door listening to the shuffling of footsteps, whispers and a small knock on the door.  
  
"Tsukushi...I'll see you at school," Shigeru whispered through the key hole.  
  
Some more footsteps were heard and finally the door slammed shut leaving the apartment silent. I felt relief that they were gone finally, allowing me to break down. I pulled my knees up against my chest finally letting the tears come out.  
  
Knock. Knock.  
  
My head jerked up at being discovered like in such a weak state.  
  
"Tukushi, it's Yuki. The others are gone now. Do you want to talk?"  
  
I opened my eyes and looked around the room through bleary, watery eyes. Everything was blurred and clouded just like my head was at the moment. Slowly, I got up from the huddled mess I had become and opened the door to face Yuki's nervously smiling face. It was still too much for me too deal with all theses emotions. I reached out to grab her, but fell to the floor once again. Yuki bent down next to me and pulled me into her arms letting me cry into her shoulder while gently stroking my head to calm me down. She didn't need to say anything and neither did I. What else were friends for, but to innately know what to do at the right time.  
  
She picked me up and led me over to the table pushing me down to sit. She handed me a kleenex and disappeared into the kitchen. After a few minutes, she returned with a tray to the living room and handed me a cup of tea before settling herself across from me with her hands cupped around her teacup. Patiently she sat there waiting for me choose when to speak.  
  
After a long silence I broke out of it and the words spilled out form me. I told her about being suffocated on that ship by him. Constantly seeing him everywhere and having to rely on him. I screamed about his jealousy and his stubbornness in wanting to take care of everything for me. By the time I finished my long drawn out story I let out a deep sigh. The entire time Yuki silently sat and just nodded her head. I looked at her waiting to say something after I finished, but she just took another sip from her teacup.  
  
She carefully placed her cup back onto its saucer and looked straight into my eyes. "Do you still love him?"  
  
I was thrown back by that question. I had wondered that many times before myself. Did I really love him?  
  
"I don't even know."  
  
"Close your eyes. Now ask yourself who do you love most in this world. Tell me what you see."  
  
I closed my eyes tightly. "Nothing."  
  
"No. Look a little harder and then tell me what you see." I closed my eyes more tightly this time and focused. From the dark depths of oblivion I saw a hand reach out to me. He grabbed onto mine and pulled me closer into his chest, wrapping his warm inviting arms into mine. Once again my heart melted. "Doumyouji.." I muttered. I opened my eyes to see a smiling Yuki.  
  
"Now you know your answer. Just always keep that in your mind. I understand from the past how Doumyouji has a temper and lets his emotions rule his actions, but he does it all out of love for you. Probably all his actions are done with good intentions. You're just tired and strained from spending so much time together. It's not unusual for two people to get on each other's nerves after awhile. Look at your parents. Didn't you always complain to me that after your father lost his job and spent everyday at home with your mother they constantly fought like cats and dogs."  
  
Yuki did have good points. Doumyouji never forced me to do anything I was dead seat against. He at least respected me to that degree. All he ever wanted to do for me was make me happy. Then I thought about Mama and Papa. I seriously thought Mama and Papa would get a divorce from all the fighting they did every day after Papa lost his job. It was hard on both of them to be cooped up in the apartment all day feeling sorry for themselves, then turning on one another pointing out the others' failures  
  
"Your right. Thanks, Yuki. Since when did you become such a love expert?"  
  
Yuki blushed.  
  
"Since you've been gone I've learned this trick to listen to my heart and to go after the one you love, no matter what."  
  
"You see Soujiro, don't you." I flashed her one of my mischievous grins.  
  
Yuki once again blushed a crimson red. She quickly excused herself to the kitchen making some excuse about getting some fresh tea.  
  
It was at that moment I decided to myself to forget all the past incidents and to look forwards to my future with Doumyouji. It was a new school year and this year had to be better than last year. There would be no fear of being red-tagged. I had a boyfriend who loved me. I had my friends. This year was going to be completely uncomplicated. I smiled and imagined spending my second year and Doumyouji's last year at Eitoku as a happy couple. I smiled at the thought of walking hand in hand with Doumyouji through campus to finally be able to understand why high school was the happiest time in a person's life.  
  
Something Yuki said stuck in my head though, 'good intentions'. I couldn't help but feel a little uneasy by those words. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind I could faintly hear a voice whispering something over and over again.  
  
"The road to Hell is lined with good intentions." 


	4. Visitors from the past

Chapter 4: Visitors from the past  
  
BUZZZZ. BUZZZZ.  
  
Huh?! Who could be at the door so early this morning? I rolled over onto my side and grasped for the clock beside my bed. Picking it up I held it close to my face squinting through bleary eyes to focus on the two hands. 7:00. It's 7:00 on a Sunday morning. Who would be bothering me at 7:00 on a Sunday morning? I tossed the clock onto the floor and lay in bed pondering over whether or not I should get up. I think not.  
  
"Whoever it is it's too early in the morning to get up for you!" I yelled.  
  
I waited for a few seconds for a response. There was none. I pulled the comforter over my head and curled up into a warm little ball waiting for slumber to overtake me again.  
  
BUZZZZ.BUUUZZZZ..  
  
"Go away!"  
  
BUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.  
  
I opened my eyes wide and cursed whoever it was under breath. "Fine! I'm coming."  
  
I had lost this battle with the cruel intruder stealing my precious sleep. I tossed the comforter off of myself feeling my body shiver at the sudden loss of my warm tent. I trudged over to the door and very grumpily swung it open.  
  
In the doorway there was a boy leaning against the door. He looked a little run down and tired. Behind him there were a few large suitcases and boxes stacked up next to him. I didn't care who he was. All I knew at that moment was that I wanted to strangle him for making me get up.  
  
"What do you want?!"  
  
"Yo! Oneesan! Is that how you greet the brother you haven't seen in so long?"  
  
"Sususmu?!"  
  
My jaw dropped. He was so much different from the last time I had seen him. If I saw him on the street I wouldn't have recognized him as my brother. He had grown much taller probably as tall as Doumyouji. His skin was a light tan and all his baby fat had been replaced by lean muscle. He stood with an air of arrogance and maturity leaning against the doorway instead of the playful, slouching little boy who I remembered as my little brother. It had been so long since I had last seen him. Ever since Mama and Papa left for the fishing village I had only gotten a few letters and pictures from them documenting their progress. The last letter I remember receiving was a little before I wound up on the surprise round the world cruise. I lunged towards him and grabbed him into a big hug. When I finally released him from my monstrous hug I helped drag all his luggage and boxes into the apartment. Susumu looked around the room in surprise of how full it was already. I hadn't unpacked any of my own luggage yet and it practically filled up the entire living room. So, we just stacked all we could fit into piles in the corners. Finally, after all the strenuous moving we settled down to talk.  
  
"What are you doing here?! Did Mama and Papa come with you? Are you all moving back?"  
  
He raised his right eyebrow in confusion. "What do you mean? Didn't you get my letter?  
  
"Letter? What letter? I just got back to Tokyo yesterday."  
  
Susumu slapped his hand against his forehead. "I knew I should have called to make sure you knew I was coming. You were all over the place and it was so hard to reach you. We got all your letters while you were on your trip. You should have seen Mama's face when she saw in the photos in the paper about the girl who stopped the Doumyouji wedding and ran off on a round-the- world cruise."  
  
I leaned back and laid down on the floor stretching out my body. I imagined the look on my mother's face with her mouth wide open and her hungry eyes calculating how her precious daughter would bring our family one step closer to a wealthy life. "Oh geez. She must have had a heart attack."  
  
"Pretty much. She went around the entire village bragging about her new wealthy son-in-law. I tried to stop her, but you know how she is."  
  
"I know. So why are you here anyway? What's with all the luggage?"  
  
"I'm moving back for school."  
  
I wrinkled my forehead in confusion. "What do you mean school? You still have one more year of junior high. You should be studying for the entrance exams this year. I thought Mama and Papa agreed that you would come back when you started high school?"  
  
Susumu's eyes lit up like an excited little boy, but he tried to hide it folding his arms up against his chest. A cocky grin spread over his face. "I'm starting Eitoku this year with you?  
  
"What?! How can that be possible?" At that point I jumped up and looked straight at him.  
  
He let out a little laugh. "You really don't have any idea what is going on with me do you? While at the fishing village I placed ahead in my grade. I took advanced courses and managed to fit in the entrance exams. With all my work I got into Eitoku with a partial scholarship like you. You should have seen Mama's face when I told her the news. She fainted in the kitchen and when she finally woke up she had already calculated how to budget my tuition. I told her I could just go to another high school to save money, but Mama demanded that I come back here and attend with you. She said it would be a double blessing if both of us hook a rich person from Eitoku, but I just came because I wanted to come back to Tokyo."  
  
I was amazed at who my little brother had become. Before he left with my parents, he was oblivious to the world always lost in thought daydreaming. Who knew that inside he was that intelligent. Mama and Papa had always put so much stress on me being the intelligent, responsible one that they overlooked Susumu. All along he never let any of us know how smart he was.  
  
"Wow! My little brother is such a genius." I nudged his shoulder and shot him a wink. "Well, I didn't expect you to come back, but I think I can find some room for you somewhere. I'm just so proud of you!"  
  
Susumu blushed at me pouring on all the compliments. I knew I was embarrassing him, but he's my little brother. I felt like such a proud mother.  
  
We spent the rest of the day rearranging furniture and unpacking. We caught up with each other's lives laughing about our experiences. It was such an odd experience to see my brother for the first time for the man he was becoming. I wasn't talking to a child anymore, but someone I could relate to on a more mature level. By the end of the day, after a ton of lifting and some arguing over who would sleep where I laid in my futon with a smile on my face.  
  
It was surprising that I was excited over the first day of school at Eitoku thinking about how different it would be this year. I have my little brother with me in the same school. Tomorrow I will apologize to Doumyouji and we could go back to being a normal, or whatever normal is for us. It's going to be a great year. I fell asleep that night to fall into a peaceful slumber dreaming about all the possibilities ahead.  
  
The first day of school  
  
The next morning Susumu walked beside me down the pathways of Eitoku. It was a new year, so all around us students were running around catching up with friends over how their summers were. The rich girls paraded around showing off their bronzed skin from vacationing on the beaches all over the world. I laughed at how silly life was around wealthy people. I turned to Susumu. He seemed completely unfazed by the people and things around him. He just walked with is head held high like he had always been in the school. I thought of my own first day at this strange school and remembered how scary it was, but Susumu was always different. He never had trouble fitting in really.  
  
I decided that it be better to get it over with and find Doumyouji. It was still early and he must have been somewhere around school already terrorizing the new first years. They were like fresh meat. It was a good thing I left him a message this morning to meet me by the garden. I probably saved a lot of victims toady from his reign of terror. Better to have him in a good mood than a bad one.  
  
I didn't want to leave Susumu alone on his first day, so I promised him after meeting him with Doumyouji I would show him around as it being one of my big sister responsibilities to look after him. Before we even got close I could hear Doumyouji ranting about me being late. Not wanting to make him any more aggravated than he already was I grabbed Susumu's hand and pulled him towards their direction. Akira and Soujiro were trying their best to calm his anger, but it seemed futile.  
  
"Where were you?! Don't you have the courtesy to at least show up on time when you were the one who told me to come so early!"  
  
"Sorry. I had some trouble getting out of the house on time." I looked at him with an apologetic look, but that jerk just looked away sulking.  
  
"Makino. Thank god you're here! Tsukasa has been driving us mad screaming about where you were." Akira laughed.  
  
"Yeah, he thought you got into some terrible accident or something. He wanted to start a search party." Soujiro questioningly eyed Susumu who was beside me. "Who's this?"  
  
Doumyouji who I hadn't noticed until now was glaring at Susumu through the corner of his eye. I noticed his neck stiffening and quickly realized that I was still holding Susumu's hand. Doumyouji had only seen my little brother a few times and probably didn't recognize him. He had a bad memory when it came to people he didn't deem important. I pondered over waiting a little before telling him he was my little brother as a joke, but decided against it since he seemed pretty irate this morning. Knowing that he was going to explode in a few seconds, I quickly released Susumu's hand.  
  
"Oh. I almost forgot. Soujiro and Akira I don't think you have met my little brother, Susumu. He just started at Eitoku. It took us a longer than I thought to get him registered. That's why we were so late."  
  
Susumu politely bowed. "Nice to meet you."  
  
I watched Doumyouji's eyes soften at the sound of the words "little brother". He seemed to relax his body a little, but still ignored me.  
  
Soujiro and Akira seemed to sense the tension still in the air, so they each put one arm around Susumu's shoulder and began to walk off with him.  
  
"Yo, Makino! I think you two need some time alone. We'll take good care of you little bro!" Akira smiled at me with his playboy charm oozing out of him.  
  
"Hey, what do you mean take care? I don't like the sound of that. You better not pollute his mind with your bad influence!"  
  
It was too late. The two playboys pretended that they didn't' hear anything and just lifted their hands to wave goodbye pulling Susumu along. I watched Susumu who seemed a little too happy to be taken under the wing of the two notorious playboys. I thought for a second of running after those three to make sure they didn't get into trouble, but was interrupted by Doumyouji's hand on my shoulder pulling me back.  
  
"Leave them alone. Those two won't try to do anything with a scary sister like you."  
  
I turned around him and shot him an innocent little smile. "I thought you were still smad at me."  
  
He quickly remembered that he had been angry and pulled his hand away. He turned around with his back facing me. "So what did you want to tell me?"  
  
I looked at his broad back and took in a deep breath to prepare myself for what I was about to do. "I feel bad about the other day. I was just so tired from the trip and you wouldn't listen. You know you can just drive me insane sometimes. You don't ask me what I want and just tell me what to do all the time. I hate it when you do that. Then there was the thing with Kazuya and your jealousy issues. You can just be so irritating. Sometimes I wonder why I'm with such a jealous idiot."  
  
Doumyouji continued to stand with his back turned to me. I continued babbling, but he made no movements. He just stood perfectly still and silent. I started to wonder if he was even listening to me and was becoming a little annoyed by this.  
  
"Hey! Were you even listening to me!?" I screamed at his turned back.  
  
Doumyouji spun around quickly and grabbed me by the shoulders. 'What kind of apology was that?! You made me come here just so that you could insult me some more!"  
  
I looked into his face, which had turned completely red. His mouth was clenched and the vein in his forehead protruded like it usually did when he was angry. It was a face I had seen all to many times. I looked down at the ground at my shoes not sure of what to do.  
  
"What I was getting at was I'm sorry. I don't want to fight anymore." I looked up at his now softened eyes that could pierce right through me making me feel all warm inside. "I love you."  
  
Doumyouji grabbed me into his arms pulling me close to his chest. I could hear the slow rhythmic thumping of his heart beat. It was soothing to just be in his arms like nothing else mattered. He pushed me away a little and arched his back lowering his head to bring his lips to mine.  
  
"Not here! We're in school. People can see us!" I pushed him away and looked around to see if anyone had seen us.  
  
"Who cares if people see us?! I'm your boyfriend and you shouldn't be embarrassed to do such things with me!" he bellowed.  
  
I looked away and muttered, "I know, but I don't like to do such things in public."  
  
Before I could say another word Doumyouji overpowered me. He pulled me towards him and kissed me tightly on the lips. I closed my eyes feeling his warm, gentle lips against mine and I just melted into him. It had been so long since I had felt this way when he kissed me. He made me feel more loved than I had ever felt by anyone. All that mattered in this perfect moment was that we loved each other.  
  
He released me from our passionate kiss and just held me in his arms for awhile. I kept my eyes closed wanting to just remember how it felt like to be this way. I breathed in the smell of his body memorizing the touch of his hands around my waist, the sound of his heart, the warmth of his body pressed against mine. Opening my eyes I looked out over his shoulder. I blinked my eyes to make sure I was seeing correctly. He was wearing the Eitoku uniform and looked a little disheveled. He had jet black hair, but running throughout there were streaks of red. He looked so familiar. It couldn't be him though. I thought he wouldn't come back. Those piercing, cold eyes, I can recognize them from anywhere. Rui..  
  
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Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or its characters cuz if I did I would be swimming in the moola right now. 


	5. Who is he?

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or its characters, but sorta own this plot. I guess?? : X  
  
Chapter 5: Who is he?  
  
I decided against mentioning seeing Rui to Doumyouji. I knew he would get that look in his eyes. It was the look he always got when I mentioned Rui. It was always a mixture of hurt and jealousy. Even though we both knew that Rui was with Shizuka, Rui would always be a touchy subject for Doumyouji and I. He knew I had a crush on Rui from the beginning and that turned into jealousy of his best friend. I couldn't' deny the fact that Hanazawa Rui would always have a special place in my heart, a part that even Doumyouji would never fit into. But Doumyouji was the one I loved and that is all that mattered.  
  
We walked hand in hand to my first class. I protested this, but Doumyouij insisted that he escort me. When we walked into the class a silent hush fell. From the corner of the room I could see the look on Asai and her friends' faces. They glared at me with a look of pure murder.  
  
"I'll see later."  
  
I turned to Doumyouji with a pleading look not wanting to let him to go. It was too fast to be plunged back into reality. I had fooled myself into thinking that everything would be better, but forgot along the way all those who wanted to break us apart. With a calm voice I let out a little, "Bye."  
  
He walked out and the buzz spread around the room like wildfire. I walked along the aisle to find an empty seat passing by those who dared not look at me for fear of feeling the repercussions of messing with Doumyouji's girlfriend. Others like Asai's group quickly went into their hissing whispers spreading their hatred towards me, the poor slut who had fooled the great Doumyouji into falling into my trap. I took the nearest seat and just waited for class to begin feeling the stares like daggers bearing down into my back. I was starting to wish that I had arranged to transfer into Shigeru and Kazuya's class. Even my first friend at Eitoku, Makiko wasn't here anymore. She was smart enough to switch out away from Asai and her cruel pranks. I looked around me trying to find a friendly face. There was nothing. I slunk down into my chair counting the minutes before class began.  
  
"Makino! You poor weed. We don't know what you did to seduce Doumyouji, but don't forget that we will be watching you. Sooner or later Doumyouji will realize that you are nothing but trash and come to his senses." Asai hissed into my ear from behind.  
  
I straightened my back and turned around ready to fling her insults back at her, but to my surprise she quickly backed away. I noticed that her face had suddenly gone pale and she had a look of fear in her eyes like a deer caught in the headlights.  
  
"What's going on? Are you hags bothering my Tsuskushi?" I swung back to the front to find Doumyouji standing in the doorway. He did have perfect timing.  
  
"There's nothing going on Doumyouji. We were just having a friendly chat with Makino."  
  
Asai and her gang were slowly backing away. The rest just nodded their heads in agreement out of fear what that explosive Doumyouji was going to do. Asai tried to put on one of her nice fake smiles lying through her teeth. "We were just welcoming Makino back from her trip."  
  
Doumyouij lowered his eyes towards me to see my reaction. I nodded my head in agreement not wanting to cause any trouble so early in the semester. "There's nothing wrong."  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked with concern in his voice.  
  
"Yep. Why did you come back." I smiled with one of my overly cheerful goofy smiles. His angry face eased and a sly grin spread over his face. "I forget to give you this."  
  
He took out from his pocket a pack of red tags and placed them in my hand. I looked down in amazement. I hadn't seen these in so long, but I could recognize them from anywhere. I was almost afraid to touch it out of trained fear.  
  
"What do I need these for?!" I screamed dropping some of them to the ground. The people around me jumped away for fear of even coming in contact with one of the slips marking a death sentence.  
  
Doumyouji continued stupidly grinning. " I thought you might need some protection." He turned to the class and put on his serious grave face. "If any of you mess with Makino F4 will find you and you will be handled accordingly!" While saying this he looked directly at Asai and her friends, whose faces had now gone a deathly white.  
  
I looked at the cowering Asai and laughed a little. Picking up the red tags that had dropped to the ground I slipped them into my bag. I looked up at Doumyouji who I could tell was enjoying this scene himself, too. "Thanks." I whispered slipping him a mischievous smile. Without another word he left the room once again.  
  
After he had left I smiled to myself. No one dared to even look or whisper a word a about me. Whenever I saw Asai glaring down at me I casually slipped one of the red tags from my bag and wrapped them between my fingers. It felt good to have he upper hand on those bitches. It was going to be a really good year.  
  
I sat in my seat and went back to wondering who that was I saw this morning. I pulled out my cellphone that Doumyouji had bought for me and scrolled down the list of names stopping at "Hanazawa Rui". My finger rested against the call button not sure whether or not I should call him. It was an odd hour in Paris and it wouldn't be right to call him now, I thought to myself. He had just called me a few days ago and he didn't mention anything about coming back. Maybe he was worried about me and decided to come. I did kind of make him worry a little about me during our last conversation. I had blurted out everything about Doumyouji driving me mad. The entire conversation he remained quiet, but that was typical Rui. I sat there debating whether or not to make the call and I hadn't even realized the teacher had come in. I turned the phone off and put it away deciding I would call him later.  
  
The teacher silenced the room and began to call roll. I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings. I stared out the window absent-mindedly. My mind kept wandering off to thoughts about who that mysterious figure was. I was so lost in thought that I hardly noticed the three new students walking into the room.  
  
I looked up to see the new students. My mouth dropped open. It was Rui's face, but not Rui. I recognized the black hair with the blood red streaks. It was that person I had seen this morning. He stood there with a grave silent look avoiding the looks from the other students. There was something very mysterious about him. To his left and right there were two other new students. They were all about the same height. One of them was busy talking to the teacher introducing himself. He was definitely good looking with one of those open, charming smiles on his face that was hard to resist. He definitely had to be lady's man. His shirt was untucked letting the bottom hang out over his baggy pants. He stood with an air of confidence and spoke with a commanding voice. He reminded me a lot of Soujiro and Akira in that respect. He leaned against the desk monopolizing the teacher's attention. I could tell that our sensei was magnetized by is words with a fascinated look in his eyes.  
  
To the left of the mysterious Rui look-alike there was an equally handsome boy, but with a much more friendly appearance. He had a sweet look and smile about him. He was a bit more refined than his two friends neatly wearing a crisp pair of ironed pants and shirt. He stood in the front of the room fidgeting a little with his black wire glasses. He whispered something into his companion's ear and let out a faint little smile.  
  
I stared at this boy who reminded me so much of Rui. Seeing him up close I realized that physically he didn't really look that similar to Hanazawa Rui, but that sad lonely look in his eyes took my breath away. They were exactly the same, but at the same time different. There was something about his face that showed he was not completely Japanese, but a mix with something else. This boy was a little disheveled and oozed a cool exterior. I could hear the whispers around the room from the other girls squealing over the handsome new students trying to decide who was better looking. I paid no attention to the other two. My eyes were fixed on him. He stood with a little bit of a slouch and a far away look in his eyes. His jet black hair was slicked up in a spiky kind of way and throughout there were chunks of red streaks. Something around his neck caught my eye especially. The top button of his shirt was left open exposing part of his muscular chest. Dangling on a thin, fine silver chain there was a rectangular jade pendant that glimmered in the light. I kept my eyes dead on him not even realizing that I was gawking at him. He looked up and our eyes locked. Feeling a little embarrassed for staring I quickly turned away and pretended that I was staring into space.  
  
"Attention class! We have three new students to our class. Here we have Luo Jin, Eto Fujio, and Tse Hatsuhara. The three boys bowed very politely. "They have just transferred to Eitoku from Hong Kong. Let's make open new students feel welcome, ok. Why don't you three take a seat."  
  
"Thank you, sensei. We hope to make many new friends with you all." Luo Jin smiled causing a stir of sighs from the girls. They walked through the aisles and chose three seats in the back corner.  
  
I sat through class and tried to pay attention to the lecture. The entire time I wondered who that boy was who reminded me so much of Hanazawa Rui. I sleepily yawned and tried to open my eyes wide to stay awake. I looked around to room to see what else was going on. All of the girls were busy staring at the new students. I glanced over to the corner. Tse Hatsuhara. That was his name. The talkative boy, Luo Jin was babbling next to him while the more quiet friendly boy, Eto Fujio intently scribbled down the notes from the board. To my surprise he was looking at me. I quickly turned my head back to the front and blushed a little. Why am I blushing?  
  
After class ended I picked up my books ready for lunch. I was starving at this point. It had been a long morning and it had been little uneasy with that new boy staring at me all through class. What did he want anyway? Looking down at my watch I realized that I was going to be late to meet Doumyouji and the others for lunch. I quickly threw my books into my bag, but one of my books fell to the ground. I turned around to search the floor for where it had fallen and spotted it quickly. As I was about to pick it up a hand bent down to pick it up. I looked up and fell back a little.  
  
"Here you dropped this." a quiet voice muttered. He looked at me with a little smile on his face.  
  
It was the first time I saw him smile. I stared at the boy who stood so close in front of me. I was in a state of shock of the similarity. "Thank you." I managed to utter out.  
  
Suddenly from behind him, his two friends jumped out.  
  
"Hey, Haru! We're waiting." The talkative boy blurted out slapping him on the back. "Who's this?" he eyed me questioningly.  
  
I looked up at the other two boys. "My name is Makino Tsuksuhi. Nice to meet you." flashing a big grin.  
  
"Nice to meet you. I'm Jin. This is Fujio and I see you have already met Haru." Fujio bowed very politely and said, "Nice to meet you."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Eto Fujio." I bowed politely back.  
  
"You don't need to be so formal. Just call me Fujio. You can call us by our first names. We haven't been to Japan in a long time. We aren't used to such formality." He laughed. "Ok. You can just call me Tsukushi then." I laughed back.  
  
The entire time I was talking to Fujio and Jin I watched Hatsuhara through the corner of my eye. They were very friendly and easy to talk to. He was still staring at me making me feel very uncomfortable. He just stood to the side very quietly listening to our conversation.  
  
"Tsukushi, we don't really know our way around here. Do you think you could show us around a bit?" Jin asked.  
  
I looked down at my watch and realized that I was already 10 minutes late to meet Doumyouji. I panicked at how annoyed he must be that I was late.  
  
"Oh, sorry. I'm late to meet someone already, but I have some time later. How about I meet you later? I can meet you in a half hour in front of the library." I realized that I shouldn't have agreed to do this, but they were so nice and I couldn't resist. Doumyouij would be extremely jealous if he saw me hanging around three guys, so I decided to meet them in a place he would never go, the library.  
  
"Sure. We'll see you later then."  
  
I grabbed my bag, waved a goodbye and bolted out of the room. As I ran down the hall, I thought back at how weird it was Hatsuhara stared at me with such an intense look in his eyes. 


	6. What Are They Hiding?

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its character, but if I did I wouldn't want to share them cuz they are so kawaii!  
  
Chapter 6: What are they hiding?  
  
I ran through the halls with my hair flailing behind me thinking about how Hatsuhara was so much like Rui. As I approached the cafeteria, I could hear Doumyouji's bellows blaring through the doors hitting me in the face.  
  
"Where is she?!"  
  
I walked through the doors I quickly spotting Shigeru and F2 trying to calm that big idiot. The other students had all moved their tables farther away to avoid the backlash of his rage. They ducked their heads down and stared at the food in front of them chewing quietly hoping to go unnoticed.  
  
I ran up to the table completely out of breath and panting. "Sorry, I'm late. I was busy helping out some new students."  
  
"Why do you always have to waste your time helping people?" Doumyouji muttered.  
  
I sat down next to him and looked at the enormous mounds of food that was piled before me. "That's because unlike some idiots I'm a nice person," I smugly grinned picking up my fork.  
  
"That's my Tsukushi-chan. She's always helping others." Kazuya perked up with a piece of noodle hanging out of his mouth.  
  
"Shuddup! And she is not your Tsukushi! Who said you could sit with us, anyway?"  
  
Kazuya grabbed my arm and cowered beside me whimpering.  
  
"Leave him alone. I say he can sit with us." I said looking into Doumyouji's eyes. I then turned towards Kazuya who was sticking his tongue out at Doumyouji in victory, "And you, can you stop calling me your Tsukushi, Kazuya. Doumyouji is my boyfriend." He lowered his head and continued to eat not saying a word the rest of the meal. I looked around the table and noticed that Susumu wasn't around. I had told him earlier to meet us for lunch. "Where's Susumu?"  
  
"Oh. He's over there, but I think he's a little busy." Soujiro smiled pointing over to the corner of the room.  
  
My eyes widened at what I was seeing. Susumu was sitting on the table surrounded by people. He cocked his head up, looked towards me rubbing his head tousling his hair, and gave me a little wave from across the room. I watched how easy it was for him to fit into the crowd. He had them all laughing. The girls fawned over him each vying for his attention.  
  
"Makino, you're brother's way more fun than you. What happened with you? Are you sure you're related?" Soujirou teased.  
  
I clenched my fist and raised it up mouthing if they wanted to die today.  
  
"Tsuskushi, is it true there are three really good looking new students in your class?" asked Shigeru in an excited voice. "All the girls are talking about them. They say they might be even more good looking than F4!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Soujiro and Akira both yelled in unison. They huddled together whispering about their plans. They threw out plans to squash their competition.  
  
"Yeah, they are in my class. I dunno. They are quite handsome. I could see what the other girls are making a fuss over. I mean one of them kind of reminds me of these two playboys over here, but the other two seem really quiet."  
  
"Who is this guy?! Is it true Makino?" Akira and Soujiro yelled from their huddle with sad puppy dog eyes.  
  
I looked at them and with an evil grin and said, "Maybe."  
  
This sent them reeling away with hurt looks on their faces. Akira fell from his chair and inched away from the table crouching on the floor poking at the ground with his finger. Soujiro bent down beside his friend and patted his head trying to soothe the poor boy's ego.  
  
"You can be sooooo mean Makino." Akira whined in a little kid voice.  
  
"Don't listen to her Akira-kun. I still think you're cute." Soujiro whispered into his ear.  
  
The two grabbed each other into an embrace and stood up together. They held each other's hands and lifted them up towards their chests nodding in agreement. They stood there lost in the moment telepathically speaking to each other reassuring the other that their competition was nothing.  
  
"Forget those two" Shigeru sighed nodding her head in disgust, "So have you talked to them yet?"  
  
"Yeah. They seem nice. Their names are Lau Jin, Eto Fujio, and Tse Hatsuhara. I think they said they came from Hong Kong."  
  
Shigeru looked up dreamily. "Their names sound cute alone. You have to introduce them to me sometime?!" Shigeru stared at me intently with a hungry passion in her eyes.  
  
I backed away from Shigeru a little scared of what she might do if I refused. "Uuuummmm..sure Shigeru."  
  
"I don't like you hanging out with these new guys," Doumyouji icily spit out.  
  
I turned back at him realizing he had been silent during this entire conversation. "Don't worry. Remember you promised to always believe me" I nudged his shoulder reminding him of the promise he had made me after he saved me from the students dragging me from their car. His face changed as he remembered how his stupid jealousy had almost gotten me killed. I knew how to play my cards correctly to get him to back away. "I know I'm you're girlfriend, but I can have guys as friends you know. It doesn't matter what you think anyway. I can be friends with whoever I want!" Not giving him a chance to respond I got up and picked up my bag. "I have to meet some friends now. I'll see you later." I spun around and marched out of the cafeteria leaving Doumyouji with his mouth wide open stumbling to find something to say.  
  
I didn't want them to know I was going to meet Fujio. Jin and Hatsuahara. I knew how intolerable Dounyouji could be when it came to me hanging around other men. Even around F4 he didn't feel completely at ease leaving me alone in the clutches of those two playboys, Soujiro and Akira, or Rui. I slipped through campus carefully making sure not to be spotted by someone who would report to Doumyouji who I went to meet. I walked behind the library building and could hear voices. Normally I would have ignored other people's conversations, but it was strange to hear students speaking Chinese.  
  
"You saw it. You saw the way he looks at her. He smiled at her. He hasn't smiled since what happened. I don't even think he smiles for Hana. We both know why too. It's just a little too creepy how much they look the same." a mysterious voice whispered.  
  
"I know what you mean. I almost couldn't hold in my shock when I saw her too. But he did smile and isn't that what's important. I can see how he changes around her. He almost seems like person we used to know. Let's just wait and see what happens. She might be good for him," the other voice whispered back.  
  
I kept my back against the corner of the wall listening to all of this. I peered out to see who it was. Fujio and Jin? Who are they talking about? Does this have to do with Hatsuhara? Could they be talking about me? I stood there quietly for a moment not making the slightest movement afraid they would find me eavesdropping on their private conversation. I ducked out of my hiding place and decided to walk to the other side of the building as to not surprise them in the middle of their secret conversation. I ran up to them this time making as much noise as possible to announce my arrival.  
  
Fujio and Jin stood next to each other and exchanged a nervous look before smiling at me. They stood in front of the steps of the building with their arms folded. Hatsuhara silently sat away form his two friends sitting on the ground leaning against the wall railing on the top the steps.  
  
"Hi. Did you wait long?" I nervously asked while in my head I was screaming don't let them know you heard them talking. "No. We just got here, too" Fujio answered taking off his glasses and wiping them with his jacket bottom.  
  
"Umm.well why don't I show you around."  
  
I started to walk away leaving the other three boys to follow behind me as I took them on a walking tour of Eitoku. It felt awkward being around them after hearing them talking about me, but I pushed those thoughts out of my head. It wasn't any of my business to hear their conversation in the first place. I stayed ahead of them babbling nonstop like an idiot averting my eyes from looking at them when they asked questions. I started to feel a little guilty for being so cold since they were so kind towards me. After awhile I eased up and told myself there was nothing strange about them. As we walked I slowly started to see the differences in each of them.  
  
Jin resembled the typical player. He had that messy casual look to him that made him quite irresistible. His dyed brown hair was styled in a sloppy way covering his eyes giving him an air of mystery. When I could see into his eyes, there was a look of mischief like you couldn't tell exactly what he was thinking. He left the top two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned exposing his chiseled chest. He walked with an air of confidence about him and talked the most out of the three. He seemed to be the on who spoke for the three. When he raised his hand to point towards a building to ask me a question I caught a glimpse of something on his chest when his shirt had been pushed open a little more by his arm being raised up. There was a tattoo on his chest over his heart. It was the symbol for eternity, which looked like a horizontal number 8. It was intricately etched into his skin with many fine lines wrapping around each other forming the symbol for eternity.  
  
Fujio was quite the opposite to Jin. I would never have guessed he would be friends with someone like Jin based on the fact they looked like complete opposites. He was just as good looking as Jin, but in a different way. He carried himself with a more serious tone. He always spoke very politely, not like Jin who liked to interrupt in the middle of a conversation with a boisterous voice. Fujio was more reserved and appeared the most mature out of the three. He had straight black hair that was pulled back and tied. He wore the uniform properly with the shirt buttoned and tucked in and neatly pressed. Even with his jacket on you could tell he was also, quite well built and muscular. When he smiled he released a genuine openness about him that could not make you dislike him. When he was embarrassed or anxious I noticed he had the habit of taking off his glasses and fidgeting with them. As we walked along the pathways under the hot sun he took off his jacket revealing his ivory white short sleeve button shirt. I glanced at his shoulder and he too strangely had the eternity tattoo etched onto his right shoulder.  
  
Hatsuhara was quiet and reserved. He rarely spoke during the entire tour to anyone. If he did speak it was usually in a whisper that was barely audible to Fujio or Jin. He remained always a few steps behind the rest of us looking around with a dazed far way look. The few times I did glance to look at him I turned quickly away since he was already staring at me with that strange look from earlier. I didn't bother to press him to talk to me, but I was used to quiet people because of Rui. Physically he was muscular and tall. He slouched a little and moved with a gracefulness about him. His black hair with bright red streaks was styled in a messy spiky way. It was unusual to see someone like him at Eitoku. Usually strange hair colors were not allowed because it was frowned upon by the teachers. Around his neck dangled the jade pendant held onto his neck by a thin silver chain. When he wandered away from the group for a moment I noticed he too had the eternity tattoo, but it was on the back of his neck.  
  
As we reached the end of the tour we sat in the garden next to the fountain spitting out water to enjoy the cool breeze after all the walking. I took this opportunity to find out more about these mysterious new boys.  
  
"So you all came from Hong Kong together. Why did your families decide to come to Japan?" I asked.  
  
I noticed that Fujio became a little nervous looking like they didn't want to answer my questions. He took off his glasses and began folding and unfolding them.  
  
"Oh we've known each other since we were babies. Our parents were friends, so we basically grew up together. We've been together out entire lives. Before we came to Eitoku we went to Holy Forest Academy in Canada. Fujio and my parents work for Haru's. When Haru's dad decided to move the business to Japan our fathers had to move too. Haru's little sister, Hana is at Eitoku with us too. She's a first year student. You should meet her? I think you would like each other. " Jin smiled at me making me feel a little uneasy as if he was hiding something. "Tell us about you, Tsukushi?" he asked trying to change the topic.  
  
"Oh, there's nothing really interesting about me. I have a little brother, Susumu. He's a first year too. We live alone together, since my parents are away working somewhere else to pay for our tuitions. We stayed to continue studying at Eitoku. I work after school to help pay bills and tuition. My life seems pretty boring doesn't it? I sometimes I wish I had money like the rest of the students here, but I like my life." I got lost in my thought and continued talking about my life without realizing that they had completely thrown me off the search to find out more about them.  
  
When I had finished telling them all about my life and family I didn't even realize how much time had passed. I was snapped back into reality when I heard my cell phone going off. I looked down at the little screen and read the text message.  
  
"Tuskushi, meet me at the front gate. -Doumyouji"  
  
I picked up my things and turned to Fujio, Jin and Hatsuahara. "Sorry. I've got to go. My boyfriend is waiting for me. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
From afar a girl a was running towards me. She ran towards us with graceful movements and her skirt flying up in the wind. I noticed that she too had red streaks running through her hair like Hatsuhara. She was a petite little girl shorter than me with a cute childlike angelic face. She had almost the same facial features as Hatsuhara, but more cheerful. She smiled warmly as she came closer to her friends. "Haru! Fujio! Jin! I was looking all over for you. You told me to wait for you after class!" She stopped in front of us and she looked at the three boys. "Who's this?" she asked turning towards me. When her eyes locked with mine her entire face changed. Her once cheerful smiling face turned serious and she just kind of stared hard at me with a look of shock on her face.  
  
"Oh Tsukushi. This is Haru's little sister I told you about. Hana meet Makino Tsukushi. She's in our class and was nice enough to give us a tour of the school." Jin explained.  
  
"Hello." She managed to utter out with a dumbfounded look on her face.  
  
Hana's eyes looked at me questioningly. She couldn't stop staring dead at me with look of horror. Feeling a little uneasy by her staring I politely bowed. "Nice to meet you Hana. I'm sorry, I can't stay and chat, but I have to go. Bye." I turned away from the staring girl to get away from her weird gaze.  
  
"Bye" Hatsuahara muttered under his breath once again giving me a little smile.  
  
I was surprised by his sudden smile and utterance of words to me. The entire day he hadn't said a word to me except when he helped pick up my book that morning. I smiled back at him and waved. Walking away I glanced back for a moment at the four people still standing there. Hana looked towards Jin and Fujio with a worried look whispering something and they just nodded. Hatsuhara once again was lost in his own world ignoring them oblivious to everything. I walked slowly thinking about the strangeness of this day. Were they talking about me earlier? What are they hiding? 


	7. Perfect Moments Like This

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but I wouldn't mind if I did cuz they are so kawaii!  
  
Chapter 7: Perfect moments like this  
  
Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"It's me. What are you doing later?" Doumyouji yelled into the receiver.  
  
"Well. Good morning to you too. Do you know what time it is? It's 7 a.m. I'm surprised you're awake. I've got work this afternoon, but I'm off at 8."  
  
From his end I could hear some rustling. "Good. I'll pick you up after work."  
  
Click.  
  
That was weird, I thought to myself. I threw the phone back into its holder on the table and lay in bed staring at the cracks in the ceiling. I wonder what that idiot boyfriend of mine is planning?  
  
After morning classes I walked around looking for any signs of F4. Akira and Soujiro were probably sleeping off their hangovers from a long night of partying. You could really tell that school was in full swing when they stopped showing up to class. Usually those playboys would show up the first week of classes and then end up ditching the rest of the semester showing up here and there to take exams or loiter around the school grounds. As for Doumyouji he should have been at school. It was just yesterday that I had spent an hour lecturing him about the importance of showing up to class. It was his last year and he needed to get some knowledge into his tiny brain before going off to University. It didn't matter that his parents owned the school and he was guaranteed a spot in the elevator system to Eitoku University. He promised me he would be more serious about school. I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled down the list punching the call button with my thumb.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Where are you?!" I screamed into the phone.  
  
"You have reached the phone of Doumyouji Tsukasa. Leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible." BEEP.  
  
"Stupid voicemail," I muttered under my breath. "Doumyouji, where are you? I've been looking for you all over school. Did you even hear a word I said yesterday about you skipping class?! If I find out you skipped school to hang out with Akira and Soujiro I'll..." Beep.  
  
The voicemail cut me off. I turned off my phone and tossed it back into my bag cursing Doumyouji in my head. Thoughts of how many ways I would punish him floated into my mind. I walked through the halls muttering to myself like a mad woman. I smiled to myself thinking about how I would rip into him later. Lost in my thoughts, I was jolted back into reality by the sound of someone calling my name.  
  
"Tsuksuhi." a cheerful voice chimed.  
  
I turned around and smiled. "Hey, Shigeru."  
  
Shigeru slapped her hand against my back. "What's wrong? I spotted you walking around muttering to yourself?"  
  
"Oh it's nothing. That idiot didn't show up to class after I lectured him for an hour yesterday about showing up to class. He even turned off his phone." I sighed with a frustration in my voice.  
  
Shigeru laughed. She pulled my arm and wrapped her arm through mine leaning against me. "Is that all? Let's not talk about him, ok? Tell me about those new boys in your class. Do any of them have a girlfriend? I've seen them around school. They're all really handsome. Forget about Tsukasa, they are way better looking." She joked.  
  
We walked arm in arm through the halls joking and laughing. Shigeru had that affect on me. She could always lighten up the mood with her bubbly personality.  
  
"Yeah, I should give you back Doumyouji and I'll take one of them," I jokingly replied.  
  
She leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Have you heard the rumors about them? They say that Tse Hatsuhara is the son of one of the wealthiest families in Hong Kong. I think he's the son of the president of the Tse Corporation. He's just as rich as Tsukasa's family, but he's rather strange. He never talks and mostly ignores all the girls."  
  
My eyes widened at the thought of anyone in this world being as rich as Doumyouji was. It seemed unfathomable to find another family to match the Doumyoiji fortune. "Really, he doesn't act one bit like other rich people. He's usually very quiet and polite."  
  
Shigeru continued whispering, "There are also rumors about his friends spreading around as well. Lau Jin and Eto Fujio are wealthy as well since they work under the Tse Corporation. Many girls have already professed their love to them, but they turned down every single one of them. All they do is laugh and politely tell them no. It only makes them more mysterious."  
  
As I listened to Shigeru I remembered back to that day I overheard Fujio and Jin talking. They were a mystery. I thought back about how serious and nervous they seemed whenever I asked them about their lives. They were always alert like they were afraid to reveal too much. I weakly smiled at Shigeru as she continued to talk on and on not realizing I was no longer really listening, but thinking about other things.  
  
****** At the Dango Shop *******  
  
I stretched my arms over the air and let out a huge yawn. "Yuki, are you almost done cleaning up back there!" I yelled over the counter.  
  
Yuki popped out from behind the door smiling. "I'm done. How about you?"  
  
"Me too. I'm so tired. I just want to go home and collapse into my warm bed."  
  
Yuki giggled. "I'm too excited to feel tired."  
  
I looked at Yuki who had already changed out of her work uniform. She was wearing a tan knee length skirt and a fuzzy white cowl neck sweater. I looked closely at her face and noticed she had even gone to the trouble to put on a faint trace of make up. "Where are you going all dressed up?" I teased.  
  
Yuki blushed at my comment. "I have a date with Soujiro tonight." She answered in an embarrassed voice.  
  
'What?! Yuki, you agreed to go out with that playboy!" I looked at her with a worried look. "I don't want you to get hurt. He has a habit of changing girlfriends very frequently."  
  
"I know what he's like, but I can't deny how much I like him. When you were away this summer we went out on a few dates. He was always so nice to me. I'm hoping he asks me to be his girlfriend. I think that can change if he found the right woman." She smiled to herself.  
  
I looked at her in disbelief. "Do you think you can really change him?"  
  
She looked at me with pleading eyes. "Just support me, ok? I always supported you and Doumyouji. Just support me and Soujiro."  
  
I nodded my head making Yuki break into a huge smile. "Ok. But if he hurts you I'll make sure he feels a hundred fold worse." I hissed cracking my knuckles.  
  
At that moment Soujiro sauntered into the shop. "Yo Makino! How's the hard working virgin doing?"  
  
I was ready to attack him about being good to Yuki, but I held myself back wanting to spare Yuki the embarrassment. "Yo Soujiro!" I smiled through gritted teeth.  
  
"Yuki are you ready to go?" he smiled towards Yuki dripping with his playboy charm.  
  
"Yes. Let me just grab my bag." Yuki walked out into the back room returning a few minutes later with her purse in her hand.  
  
Soujiro reached out his hand and took Yuki's. As I watched them walk down the street I could notice a slight change in Soujiro. I had seen him go through his share of girls. There were so many I stopped bothering trying to learn their names. Around Yuki he was much more gentle and caring. When I did seen him with girls he usually draped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her along, but seeing him with Yuki holding her hand there was a quiet gentleness between them.  
  
I looked down at my watch that said 8:00. Doumyouji is going to be here soon. I grabbed my coat and walked out of the store waving goodbye to the owner. Seeing as I had some time I took a seat at one of the tables set up outside. The street was lit up that nights form the signs of the storefronts and the cars whizzing by on the streets. Couples were walking by hand in hand deciding where to go for fun that night. Something across the street caught my eye, though. I could barely make out the four figures over the glare of the cars racing by. They looked familiar, but by they way they were dressed and walking through the streets I almost didn't recognize them.  
  
Hatsuhara was dressed in a long black leather coat and black slacks. He wore a dark blue dress shirt left untucked and open at the top exposing a wife beater underneath. The way he walked was completely different. He was confidant in every step he took. Next to him was a girl with way too much makeup on and an attitude to match. He staggered a little with a bottle of beer in one hand and his arm draped around the girl. Behind them were Jin and another girl much like the one around Hatsuhara's arm. He was whispering into her ear making her blush and giggle profusely. Straggling behind were Hana and Fujio. They seemed to be the only ones not in a drunken stupor. I looked in disbelief at her transformation. Hana's angelic figure had completely been erased from the first time I saw her. She slicked back her hair into a ponytail hanging down her back. She wore bright red lipstick and black eyeliner accentuating her smoky eyes against her pale white complexion. She wore a short leather mini skirt with a white halter top revealing her perfect shoulders. With a pair of high heels boots she reached Fujio's chin. Fujio and Jin were dressed more like Hatsuahara as if they were going clubbing. It was strange to see Fujio that way since he usually seemed so preppy. As they were walking down the sidewalk forcing the other pedestrians to move to the side to allow them to pass Hatsuahara turned his head towards my direction. He looked at me oddly for a moment before turning back to the front and walking away.  
  
I stood there staring at them as they disappeared into one of the many night clubs. They could have their secrets, who doesn't? We all have a side that we keep to ourselves. I forgot about what I had just seen and looked out into the street for Doumyouji's car. A silver Porsche sped down towards me and came to a screeching halt. He stepped out of the car and came towards me. I felt the wind knocked out of me. He had straightened his hair. Dressed in a tux, with a bright smile he offered me his hand.  
  
I got up from where I was sitting and sweetly smiled at him. POW! I thrust my fist into his face sending him flying backwards trying to regain his balance.  
  
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" he yelled holding his face with his hand.  
  
"Didn't you hear a word I said yesterday about skipping class!" I screamed at him.  
  
"What?! What are you talking about you crazy woman!"  
  
"No matter what I say to you nothing goes through that dumb pineapple head of yours!"  
  
He looked at me with a restrained face holding back his anger. "Come with me!" He grabbed my arm and pushed me into the car. I struggled with him, but he overpowered me with his strength strapping me into the passenger seat. The entire ride to his mansion I struggled screaming at him to let me out, but he just ignored me with a stupid grin on his face. When we reached his house he pulled me out of the car dragging me through the doors to a line of maids waiting for his arrival.  
  
"Get her ready" he ordered the maids who quickly scurried out of their line and took a hold of me pushing me into one of the many rooms of the house. I kicked and screamed, but four of them held me down pleading me to just stay still so they could do their work. After an hour they released me and I looked into the mirror. I was amazed at what they had done so quickly. They had untied my braids and allowed my wavy hair to flow down my back. I touched my face and smiled a little to myself. I was reminded of that time he had kidnapped me and dressed me up to ask me to be his girlfriend. I will never forget that look on his face when I flat out told him no. I was lead into another room where there was a dress laid out on the bed. I reached down and picked up the beautiful gown feeling the soft fabric between my fingers. It was a very simple pure white dress. I slipped it on and looked at myself in the mirror. It hung around my body fitting over every part in the right place. Was I the same girl a girl from a year ago? I looked down at my white dress that touched to the ground. He did have good taste, I thought to myself.  
  
The maid interrupted my thoughts asking that I follow her. Wondering what Doumyouji had planned I was led to his bedroom. I walked in looking around for him, but he was no where to be seen. Before I could ask the maid where he was she quietly slipped out the door shutting it behind her. From a faint distance I could hear the sound of a violin coming from the open door to the balcony. Drawn by its sweet melody I followed the music through the doors. My mouth dropped at the sight that was in front of me. All the anger I had felt drained out of my body.  
  
"What is all of this?" I managed to utter out.  
  
"Doumyoji stood up in front of me smiling. All around us there were twinkling lights strung up sparkling against the back drop of the night sky.  
  
"Can I have this dance?" Doumyouji reached out his hand and took mine pulling me into his arms. My legs went weak, but he held me up in his strong arms. We danced under the moonlight to the soft melody of the violin. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was perfect moments like this that reminded me why I loved him so much.  
  
"Why did you do all this?" I whispered into his ear. My eyes widened at what an idiot I had been to hit him earlier. "You spent the whole day planning this? That's why you didn't come to school."  
  
He looked into my eyes and nodded his head. He held me tighter. "Do you know what today is?"  
  
I thought hard for a minute, but nothing came to mind. I looked up at him with a confused look.  
  
"One year ago on this day, I was walking up the stairs and some clumsy girl fell on top of me. I pushed her away and threatened to red tag her not really caring about her apologies or begging. I would have just red-tagged her and forgotten her face, but her friend screamed at me. She stood with her arms at her waist screaming at me as if I were a normal person. It was the first time anyone had stood up to me. It was the first time I laid eyes on the woman who would change my life. I didn't know at the time, but she would change the way I saw the world. She taught me to say sorry, that not all poor people were bad, and no matter what obstacles we faced she stayed. I promised her I would always believe her and I would go to hell and back for her. It was at that moment I fell in love with you. Tsuksuhi."  
  
I looked up at his face with tears in my eyes. "I love you" I said in a low voice.  
  
Over my shoulder he signaled the violinist to make his exit leaving us standing there alone. I stood against the railing and looked up at the twinkling stars.  
  
"Only you would remember the day a girl yelled at you" I laughed.  
  
He came up from behind me and held me in his arms. Staring up at the same stars I had been admiring. "I wanted to celebrate the day that stupid woman came into my life," he joked. He pulled something out of his pocket and held it up to my face. "I got this for you."  
  
I picked up the small velvet box from his hands and opened it slowly. With shaking hands I stared at what was inside. Inside there was a diamond necklace pendant of Saturn.  
  
"It's beautiful," I gasped.  
  
He pulled the necklace from the box and placed it over my neck tying it from behind. I touched the cool metal against my neck.  
  
"I wanted to find something that no one else could ever give you. I would give you my everything. I wanted to give you the morning, the night, the stars. Since I can't give you any of those this was the closest thing I could find to the stars."  
  
At that moment the sky lit up in beams of bright lights. Across the sky a meteor shower broke out splattering the black canvas of the night sky with blasts of fireworks. We stood there holding each other looking up at this miracle god had given us.  
  
I awoke the next morning feeling my head against the rise and fall of his chest. He was still sleeping. We had fallen asleep outside under the stars. I reached my hand to my neck and twirled the Saturn pendant between my fingers. I looked at his peaceful sleeping face wishing we would always be this happy. Slipping out of his arms not wanting to disturb him, I took his jacket, which he had draped over me and covered him with it. I walked out taking one last look at him. There was somewhere I needed to go.  
  
I walked up the winding familiar steps and took a deep breath before opening the door. As I peered my head out I looked around for him, but I knew he wouldn't be there. I sat down on the railing and turned my head back to stare at that familiar spot. He would have been sitting on those steps with his back against the wall, the sad face and all. How many times had I raced up those stairs opening the door hoping to see him there? I still came to the emergency exit stairs once in a while just to think. I didn't come because of the secret memories it had for Hanazawa Rui and I, but for another reason. All those times I sat here alone after he left I realized why he liked it so much here. It was a place to escape everything and just get lost in your thoughts. There was no other place than this that would make the previous night more perfect. I watched the sun slowly rising greeting the world to a new day. The wind blow sweeping my hair and the kicked the bottom of my dress up in the breeze. It was Saturday, so there were no students milling about for another day of the school. Being alone up there I could sense the eerie lonely feeling the old school gave off. I began to sing a melody that I made up in my head and just looked out with my feet dangling over the railing feeling the warm sunshine on my face. In the quiet solitude of that morning the only sounds that echoed against the quiet walls was my voice.  
  
I spun my head around at the sound of the door slowly creak open surprising me. My hair fell into my face blocking my view.  
  
"Hatsuahara?"  
  
He stumbled through the door and mumbled a "sorry". He turned around and began to walk out.  
  
"Wait. You don't have to go."  
  
I don't know why I stopped him from leaving, but somewhere in his eyes I sensed he needed the peace and quiet just as much as I did this moment. He turned around and stood with his back against the wall remaining silent.  
  
I turned my head forward not looking at him. "I see you discovered my secret place." I started saying breaking the awkward silence. "Actually a friend of mine first discovered it. I found it the same way you just did. I was really angry and came bursting through that door interrupting him. I don't think he liked it at first that I was always disturbing his secret quiet place, but he never told me to leave. I started coming here just because of him, but after he left I realized how nice this place really was. I don't think he'll mind if I let you into our secret club." I laughed.  
  
Hatsuahara made no slight sound. He was always quiet like that. He matched this serenity just like Hanazawa Rui did. It seemed like this place was made for people like them. Always with a troubled look and strange silence that lived deep down in the depths of their souls. He moved away from the place he was standing and to my surprise he sat down on the steps. I looked at him in shock of how much he reminded me of him. I jumped off the railing and landed on the ground taking a seat opposite of him on the top of the steps. I stared at his blood shot eyes and the bags forming under them. I wasn't sure whether he was still drunk or suffering from a really bad hang over. He just sat there staring at me.  
  
"Thanks," he mumbled.  
  
I sat there enthralled with this strange boy. There was this air of mystery around him that bothered me. I just couldn't help myself, but be drawn towards him. Sometimes I think I have a sick desire to be around sad mysterious boys. His eyes looked right past me, and he pulled out a pack of cigarettes form his shirt pocket. He tapped the bottom of the box and pulled one out with his mouth. I watched him carefully as he flicked the cap to his lighter open and closed with a flick of his wrist. After doing that a few times he raised it towards his cigarette and lit it taking a deep puff and blowing out a stream of smoke.  
  
In horror, I snatched the cigarette out of his mouth and stamped it out with the heel of my shoe. "Don't smoke these! They'll kill you!" I found myself screaming at him about the dangers of smoking at such a young and age and the effects of secondhand smoke. When I finished my rant I was out of breath. He remained silent and just looked at me. I watched as the side of his mouth curled up into a smile and a strange sound sputtered from his lips. He was laughing. His eyes changed from the glazed over look they usually had and I could see the glimmer of joy in them. I looked at him and not quite getting the comedy of my words I started to laugh a little too.  
  
"Sorry, Hatsuhara. I didn't mean to sound like a mother, but I just hate smoking" I said between laughs.  
  
His laughter came to an abrupt halt and he looked at me with those eyes that could pierce right through my heart. "Don't call me that."  
  
I looked at him in surprise that he managed to say more than one word to me. I think that was the first time he had actually spoken a full sentence to me. I looked at that look of hurt in his eyes not quite understanding what great offense I could have said to him.  
  
He looked up at me once again with a pleading look in his eyes. "Just call me Haru."  
  
I watched the pained expression on his face and nodded my head in compliance. "Ok, Haru." I watched his demeanor slowly change. He just stared at me again with that look that always made me uncomfortable.  
  
"Can you do something for me?" he asked in an almost inaudible voice.  
  
I was taken aback by his strange request, but that sad lonely look he wore compelled me to nod a yes. I don't know why I said yes, but I did. He crawled towards me and sat down beside me. I could smell the stench of beer and cigarette smoke in his clothes and hair. I awkwardly squirmed a little not quite sure what he wanted from me. He laid the side of his head on my lap and closed his eyes.  
  
I sat there stunned by what he was doing. I didn't know what to say or do at that moment. He was acting so strange, but then again he was always strange. I felt his body clench up and ease as he lay there. I opened my mouth thinking about finding out what made him so lonely and cold, but closed my mouth not wanting to spoil everything. It was moments like this that Hanazawa Rui taught me all you need is silence to cradle you. I don't know what came over me, but at that second I felt that I had to comfort this poor boy. I wanted to take away all the pain he felt within his heart. I looked down at him and ran my fingers through his hair stroking his head. I sat there humming the tune I had been singing before lost in that perfect moment. 


	8. Promise Me

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but I wouldn't mind cuz they're all so kawaii!  
  
Chapter 8: Promise me  
  
We sat there in complete silence for what seemed like forever. As I watched him lay there with his eyes closed, I couldn't help but notice how peaceful he looked like he had no cares in the world. I could feel all the tension flowing through every muscle of his body leave him. I leaned back and rested my head against the cold wall. Feeling my eyes suddenly become unbearably heavy I closed my eyes. Before my mind completely drifted off into a dream world I saw the fingertips clutching the side of the door to close it.  
  
I awoke later shivering from the cold breeze feeling a drip of water hit my eye. I stretched my neck, which felt stiff and sore. How long had I been sleeping? I felt my legs go numb and looked down towards them. He was still resting there sleeping. My moving around aroused Haru who dreamily opened his eyes and looked up at me. I looked up at the sky that had suddenly turned dark. Small droplets of rain hit my face before a heavy downpour flooded down from the sky.  
  
I felt a hand grab mine and pull me down the stairs. We ran across the lawns trying to get away from the violent rain splattering in all directions. Finding it futile to continue running through the growing puddles he pulled me under a tree canopying us from above. I stood there trembling. Water dripped off my arms and face. Haru's hair was dripping wet and his soaked shirt now clung to his shivering frame. We avoided looking directly at each other and just stared out into rain waiting for it to stop. It was strange how moments ago we shared such an intimate moment and now we acted as if we were strangers. A few minutes passed that stretched on like hours.  
  
Haru broke this awkward moment and pulled the collar of his coat up around his neck walking out in the rain drenching himself once again. He glanced back at me with a sad look on his eyes. He mumbled, "Thanks for before." He turned his head back strode off with hunched up shoulders bearing all the weight of the world on them. Watching him walk away through the storm his figure quickly was lost in the haze.  
  
I stood there paralyzed wondering what had just happened between us. What secret are you hiding Haru?  
  
The sky continued to drown the world in its tears of sorrow moaning in pain and anger with each bellow of thunder and lightening. Seeing how it was dangerous to be outside I lifted my coat over my head and ran in the opposite direction from where Haru had gone.  
  
When I reached home I slipped out of my drenched gown and sat in my robe sipping hot tea watching the rain plunk against the window pane.  
  
Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hello. Tsukushi, why did you leave without saying anything this morning?"  
  
"I went to my usual place to think."  
  
"Why didn't you wake me? I would have gone with you. You always go with Rui" he whined.  
  
"Sorry, but it's our secret place," I teased. "Thank you for last night by the way"  
  
I could imagine his face turning red on the other end. "It was nothing," he muttered. "I was just worried that you got drenched in the storm."  
  
I could hear the concern in the voice. "I'm fine. I just got a little soaked that's all. I just need to dry off a bit."  
  
"Stupid woman walking around in the rain. Take care of yourself. I don't want to deal with a sick woman." He gruffly said.  
  
"Ok. Ok. Ok. I'll see in school tomorrow. Bye."  
  
I hit the end call button and stared at the phone. What had I done to deserve someone who loved me so much. Thoughts off last night happily filled my mind bringing a smile to my face. Inside I could feel a little guilt creeping up on me. I was ashamed for having spent the night with the man I love only to share such an intimate moment with another the next morning. Memories of this morning flashed through my mind like a movie only this time I came to the comprehended what I felt for him. I realized that I had no real feelings for Haru. In a way, it was more sympathy than anything that drew me towards him.  
  
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.  
  
"Susumu! Can you answer the door?!"  
  
Susumu walked out of his room looking very annoyed. "Why is my big sister so lazy?" he muttered angrily to himself. He swung open the door and with a giant grin on his face yelled, "Hello!". His face suddenly blushed crimson. He stood back. "Hana what are you doing here?"  
  
Hana stood in the doorway with a shocked look on her face from the strange greeting. She bowed her head slightly and said, "Hello. Sorry to disturb you."  
  
Susumu fell backwards a little tripping over his own feet. He nervously gestured for Hana to come in. The look of horror and shock still lingered in his face. "I'm sorry. I didn't' expect you to show up on my doorstep."  
  
I watched my social butterfly brother suddenly lose his cool around Hana. I laughed a little to myself wondering if Susumu maybe had a little crush on her. I had to admit she was quite beautiful. She stood beside Susumu like a petite little angel. She barely reached his shoulder and looked as if he might break her with the slightest touch. I was a little shocked to see her sudden transformation from the night before. He porcelain skin was flawless with only the faintest touch of makeup. She wore a conservative khaki skirt with a red button shirt top. They were a little wet from the storm raging outside. Her hair was twisted up with a pair of chopsticks in a bun allowing spiky strands to protrude. She took out a handkerchief from her purse and wiped the water that dripped off her face and arms. I took a closer look at her. The other times I had seen her were only for a few brief seconds. I looked at her petite frame thinking how innocent she appeared. Watching her taking off her shoes I glanced down and noticed she also had the same eternity tattoo Haru and the others had on her ankle. It was concealed only by a thin silver anklet with a jade pendant shaped like a heart dangling from it.  
  
"Susumu, I actually came to see your sister," she coldly said.  
  
She walked into the living room and she sat down on the floor in front of the table. Her face was stoic and hardened.  
  
Susumu sensed the awkward tension and excused himself from the room. He glanced at me with questioning eyes. I didn't know what the purpose of this surprise visit was either so I just shrugged my shoulders nodding at him to leave us alone.  
  
I sat down opposite Hana and let out a nervous smile. She continued to look right through me with those stone like eyes. I poured her a cup of tea and placed it in front of her. She daintily picked it up and took a small sip before placing it down carefully. I watched her in amazement of her refined, good manners. She definitely had to have come from money.  
  
"Makino-sempai. I came to talk to you about my brother." She abruptly said.  
  
I was taken aback for a moment out of surprise. "Please, you can just call me Tsukushi," I warmly smiled.  
  
She looked down at the table and traced the lines of the wood with her finger before she began to speak. "I saw you with Haru this morning."  
  
My mind replayed that morning in flashes of pictures. She was the one who closed the door, I thought to myself. "Oh..I hope you don't think that we have something going on. I don't feel for him in that way. I already have a boyfriend who I love. He just seemed so sad and he asked me to do him a favor," I blurted out like an idiot. She just continued to stare right through me with that look.  
  
"Please don't misunderstand my reasons for coming here. I'm not here to accuse you of anything. I was just a little shocked to see you together. He asked you to call him Haru didn't he?" she asked glassy eyed. "You must think it's strange his nickname is Haru meaning spring. He's usually so introverted and cold. He wasn't always that way, though. My mother was the one who actually gave him his nickname. She always said he was like spring, full of life and energy." A smile slowly curled up on her lips at the mention of her mother, but quickly disappeared from her face. "She died a few months ago." She twirled a locket that hung around her neck rubbing it between her fingers. She carefully pulled over her head and handed it to me. I opened it up. My mouth dropped open. I stared at the picture of the elegant Japanese woman dressed in the kimono smiling at me. The face. The eyes. The long brown hair that framed her face. It was almost identical.  
  
"I don't understand?" I gasped.  
  
"Now you understand why I was shocked that first time I saw you. I apologize for being so rude and staring, but you look so much like her. I was just in shock from the resemblance. I can see what Haru sees in you. Whenever he is around you I can see a glimmer of the man he once was. You change him." She looked away from my dumbfounded face and slung the necklace over her head letting the pendant dangle from her neck once again. "That is why I came to talk to you today. Can you promise to do something for me?" She looked up at me with pleading eyes.  
  
I was slightly scared to ask what she wanted form me. Haru had asked me to do something strange for him. I wondered what she wanted from me. "Sure," the words uttered out of my mouth  
  
"Promise me you will stay away from him. I know what I am saying might sound a little strange. For his sake and yours, please just stay away. There are things you do not know about us. This is for the benefit of both of you. You being around him is dangerous. We don't need anymore people getting hurt in our lives." Her voice grew solemn and low at the word "dangerous".  
  
I stared at her in shock at such a strange request. I didn't understand really what danger there could come out of being around Haru. I nodded my head and said, "yes". I couldn't fathom how either of us could be hurt from this strange relationship we had.  
  
"Thank you, Tsukushi." Hana quickly stood up and bowed lowly towards me. "I'll show myself out." She pushed herself off the ground and straightened out her skirt. I glanced up at the little girl who had made such a grave request. I watched her pick up her umbrella and dash back out into the pouring rain.  
  
What did she mean by "dangerous"? 


	9. Cruel

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but if I did I would be one happy woman. : P  
  
Chapter 9: Cruel  
  
Susumu waited a few moments after the door closed to peer his head out. "Is she gone yet?"  
  
I looked at my silly brother who had by this time combed his hair and put on a fresh pair of clothes. "She's gone."  
  
"Aaaawwww." he moaned. "I didn't even get a chance to talk to her."  
  
I laughed at his sudden newfound shyness. "So my little brother is in love, eh? I haven't seen you act like that around the other girls at school. I see how she makes you nervous" I giggled.  
  
His face turned red and his eyes narrowed to yell at me. "I'm not nervous! It's just she's different from the other girls at school." His expression softened at the thought of her. 'Did she ask about me?" His eyes filled with excitement at the thought of being mentioned by Hana.  
  
I nodded a no and watched his head lower a little hurt that Hana's visit had not been about him.  
  
"Then why was she here?"  
  
I looked up at him and with a blank expression. "I'm not really sure?"  
  
Looking exasperated with my vagueness Susumu went back into his room slamming the door behind him. Once again I could hear the sounds of the video game he was playing blaring through our thin walls.  
  
----------------  
  
The next day at school the grey sky still loomed overhead. The clouds rumbled in agitation ready to attack once again with a shower. Everywhere you went it was wet. I thought about going to the stairwell, but quickly changed my mind at the chance of meeting Haru there. I started to wish that I had not given him permission go there. Since I promised Hana I would stay away from him, I did not realize at the time I also restricted myself from going there.  
  
I wandered around aimlessly thinking about the haunting image that imbedded itself in my mind. I tried to shake that image out of my mind, but the figure of that dead woman smiling haunted me, I'd heard that somewhere in the world that everyone has someone that looks like their twin. When I met Haru I could have sworn he was Hanazawa Rui. Could it be so coincidental that I looked like Haru's mother? It almost seemed as if fate was playing some cruel game on us. I could feel my heart sinking thinking about how painful it must have been for Haru to see me, a replica of his dead mother. It seemed all too much like a sick game.  
  
For now there was nothing I could really do. I had promised Hana to stay away from him. There was just something in the seriousness in her voice and that look on her face that made me agree to it. But Hana was his sister and she would know what was best for him, right?  
  
"Yo Makino!"  
  
I looked up at Akira who was walking towards me waving his hand. Next to him followed by Shigeru, Soujiro and Doumyouji.  
  
"Hey everyone."  
  
"Why is it that you always have such a worried look on you face when I see you? You don't want to get wrinkles from all that frowning." Shigeru laughed.  
  
"I thought after that passionate night you spent with Doumyouji you would be smiling all the time." Soujiro interrupted.  
  
"Huh? What are you talking about?"  
  
Doumyouji just looked at me with a blank expression. "I just said you spent the night at my house," he grinned.  
  
"Nothing happened! We just fell asleep on the couch" I yelled towards Soujiro and Akira who were by this point re-enacting a scene from our night together.  
  
"Shhhh..Don't speak." Soujiro mimicked Doumyouji placing his fingers over Akira's lips.  
  
"Doumyouji, please be gentle," Akira whispered in a womanly voice.  
  
They wrapped their arms around each other and began pretending to make out, grabbing at each other.  
  
"Oh Doumyouji, I love you?" Akira whispered in a womanly high pitched voice.  
  
"Please Tsukushi. We've been virgins for way too long already. I can't control myself naymore!" Soujiro replied wrapping his arms around his accomplice.  
  
"Shut up, you two perverts. Nothing happened." I yelled at the two strange boys. "Stop telling them lies, Doumyouji!" I screamed at him with my hands on my hips.  
  
"Sure whatever you say Makino" Akira winked his left eye at me.  
  
"I just told them the truth, you stupid woman" he grumbled with a smile creeping from the side of his mouth.  
  
"Aaaaaahhhhhhh! I can't stand you people!"  
  
They all burst out laughing at my expense.  
  
"It's just too easy to get to you, Makino," Soujiro laughed. "We know you will always be our hard working virgin."  
  
"Don't call me that either!" I grumbled.  
  
I stood with my back to those laughing idiots sulking over how unfair it was to have to always deal with these morons.  
  
"Hey Tsukushi!"  
  
"What is it now?!" I snapped turning my head around.  
  
"Whoa! I just wanted to say hello." Jin backed up a little putting his hands up defensively. Fujio and Haru stood behind him looking a little confused at my sudden outburst.  
  
"Oh sorry."  
  
I looked at the two very different groups standing face to face for the first time. Without Hanazawa Rui they were both evenly matched three on three. They just stared at each other both sizing up the other. It was if they were meticulously eying each other in a competitive manner. Their faces turned grave. They reminded me of animal packs challenging each other over territory.  
  
"Who are they?" Doumyouji asked breaking the silence. He protectively put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him.  
  
I suddenly realized the overpowering testosterone in the air. "Oh, Akira, Soujioro, Doumyouji, Jin, Fujio." I pointed at each person as I introduced each person. When my finger came to Haru I stumbled, "and this is Har.I mean Hatsuhara." My mind quickly decided against calling him Haru as I remembered Hana's mentioning how their mother called him Haru. I watched his face change for a second a little hurt at my choice of words.  
  
"Yo," they six men replied to each other.  
  
Shigeru popped up from behind me and poked me in my side, "Introduce me!" she whispered.  
  
Wincing in pain at being poked in my side I smiled. "Oh and this is Shigeru."  
  
"Hello. It's nice to meet you. I hope you are enjoying yourselves at Eitoku." Shigeru cheerily exclaimed.  
  
She grabbed Fujio by the arm and dragged him off to the side grilling him for information. I almost felt a little sorry for him being bombarded with questions by Shigeru. The entire time she spoke to him talking a mile a minute. Fujio just politely nodded his head and kept that same warm smile on his face he always had.  
  
Akira and Soujiro were huddled together glaring at Jin. They could sense the aura of a fellow playboy. The three of them just glared at each other not blinking in a face off. I was scared at what was going to happen. The air was suddenly very tense.  
  
"Yo Jin," Akira yelled in a serious tone surprising all of us.  
  
"Yeah," Jin coldly replied.  
  
"How many?" Soujiro asked.  
  
"250. You?"  
  
"Impressive. 290." Soujiro replied.  
  
Akira looked at both of them and triumphantly stated, "320."  
  
I almost fell over in shock. Their serious faces drastically changed into smiles. Jin walked over to Akira and Soujiro's, who each put an arm around his shoulder letting him into the club. They each pulled out their little black books and began to compare which girls they had each dated comparing notes. They laughed and joked over which girl did what, the good ones, and the bad ones. I looked on in amazement at how quickly they had switched from a serious fight tone to this cheerful camaraderie.  
  
"You three are pigs" I sighed in exasperation.  
  
The three of them looked up at me and just shrugged lost in their own little playboy circle.  
  
During this entire time Haru stood a little away uncertain of what to do. His two companions were now stolen for the moment. I couldn't help but notice he kept looking over in my direction. He shifted uneasily for a little bit standing alone before turning around and walking away without saying anything.  
  
I just continue to watch in fascination of the playboy conference in awe. This entire time Doumyouji held onto me tightly.  
  
"I don't like him?"  
  
"Who?" I asked still observing the playboys.  
  
"That guy, Hatsuahara. I don't like him." Doumyouji icily stated.  
  
I looked up to notice Doumyouji's eyes boring down on Haru's departing backside. I could see that familiar look on his eyes. "Why?" I asked a little frightened to hear his response.  
  
"I don't like the way he looks at you. He wouldn't stop staring at you." He grumbled.  
  
I sensed the impeding jealous outburst that was waiting to burst forth. "Leave him alone. His sister told me he lost his mother a few months ago. She said I look a lot like her. He just stares because I remind him of her," I whispered. "He's suffered enough already."  
  
Doumyouji seemed to ignore my explanation. "Sad how someone his age is such a mother's boy," he snorted in disgust.  
  
I looked up angrily at him for his insensitivity. "Unlike some people who have a sister complex." I sneered. I threw his arm off my shoulder. "You can be such a jerk sometimes."  
  
"Hey where did Haru go?" Jin asked suddenly looking up.  
  
"I think he left." Fujio replied.  
  
"Why didn't he wait for us? Let's go find him." Jin complained.  
  
"Nice to meet you." Fujio politely bowed before running off after Jin who had already left.  
  
Akira, Soujiro and Shigeru gathered next to Doumyouji and me.  
  
"Is it just me or does Hatsuhara look a lot like Hanazawa Rui? He even acts a little like him?" Shigeru asked.  
  
"I was just thinking the same thing" Akira replied scratching his head.  
  
"Yeah. It's just what we need. Another quiet, strange Hanazawa Rui." Soujiro laughed.  
  
The three of them stood there laughing over the thought of another lazy, sleepy Hanazawa Rui running free in the world.  
  
"I'm leaving now. See you guys later." I needed to get away from Doumyouji before I really lost my temper.  
  
"Wait, Tsukushi." Doumyouji called after me.  
  
I pretended that I didn't hear him calling and just continued walking. He always found some way to ruin everything. That was Doumyouji. 


	10. Life Gets a Little More Complicated

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but if I did I would be one happy woman.  
  
Chapter 10: Life gets a little more complicated  
  
My legs were moving, but I wasn't in control of where I was going. When I finally stopped I looked around at my surroundings. I was in the stairwell. Why was it that whenever I was sad, happy, or angry I always came back here? I leaned against the railing and screamed, "Bastard, Doumyouji! Don't care about other people's feelings. I All that matters is yourself!"  
  
"Yo," I heard a voice mumble from behind me.  
  
"Aaaahhhh!" I screamed feeling my heart jump into my throat. I fell backwards and a pair of arms caught me. I turned around and froze at the sight of a ghost. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was seeing correctly. "Hanazaw Rui.."  
  
"Why do I always finding you screaming at Tsukasa up here?" Hanazawa Rui laughed.  
  
I looked at him in shock. Millions of questions flooded my head. I was at a loss of words seeing him in the flesh.  
  
"How? What the? Why are?" I stuttered.  
  
A smile broke out on my face. A sudden impulse propelled my body forward jumping into his arms. He stood completely still with his arms to his side and I just wrapped my arms around him. He always showed up when I needed him the most. Regaining consciousness I organized my thoughts. "What are you doing back here? Is Shizuka with you?"  
  
He looked at me with those mesmerizing eyes and just smiled and patted my head. "No, Shizuka is still in France."  
  
"What happened?" My heart sank at the thought that he had returned once again rejected by Shizuka. He pushed me away from his body. With a tired face he plopped down in his usual spot on the first step.  
  
His face became somber, but there was a carefree ease in his words. He released a heavy sigh before saying, "She doesn't need me. There's nothing left for us, I left her." With those words he let out a little bitter smile.  
  
I looked at him with utter dismay. How could he be so casual? Wasn't he the same person who left everything for the woman he loved. Now he was returning home alone? I was beginning to feel very annoyed and aggravated by his attitude. He left her once, but went back to her again by his own will and determination to have things work. The only conclusion I could come to for his return was that same reason he left her the first time, he was selfish. He wanted her all to himself. He and Doumyouji did have more in common than I realized. Thinking about Doumyouji I quickly remembered why I was so angry a few moments ago.  
  
"I don't understand. Hanazawa Rui you are an idiot just like Doumyouji with your jealousy! Shizuka loves you, but she has to have her own life, too. Can't you just believe in the one person you love?!"  
  
His face turned dark very quickly. He looked at me with that familiar look. It was that came look that frightened me at times. He bore his eyes right into mine. "Don't talk about things you don't understand," he said in a raised voice.  
  
I could sense the misunderstanding in my words. I backed away frightened by the tone in his voice. It was rare I ever heard anger in his voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just angry at Doumyouji. I didn't mean to take out my anger on you." I shook my head in confusion.  
  
His face relaxed. He looked at me with those same caring eyes. He walked away and jumped up onto the railing and looked out into the scenery. I followed him and sat down next to him looking down at how vast and small everything far way looked. Hanazawa Rui leaned in closer to me letting me feel the comfort his warm body against mine. We sat there each quietly thinking about what brought us together at this moment. We each had our own and problems to deal with. It was better to have company along the way.  
  
"Hanzawa Rui, do the others know you are back?"  
  
"No. Don't tell them I'm back yet. I don't want to explain yet."  
  
"Oh, Ok." I murmured under the breath. Once again we were lost in our own thoughts sorting out the confusion that clouded our lives. As we sat there in perfect silence, I couldn't help but think about what Hanazawa Rui's return would mean for all of us. It had been so long since we had last seen each other. I couldn't deny the fact that the second I realized it was him my heart did skip a beat, but he always had that affect on me. I took a deep sigh and stretched my arms in the air. Suddenly the silence was rudely broken by a long moan from the sky. The clouds swirled madly in circles signaling an impending storm. Life would just get a little more complicated.  
  
************ Hanazawa Rui left school unnoticed. I watched him quietly jump down from the railing and walk down the stairs. With his baseball cap on and a lowered head, he was able to walk inconspicuously through crowds of students running through the walkways trying to escape the droplets of rain that had begun to fall. It amazed me how easy it was for him to be lost in the crowd. If it were any of the others in F4 they would have been spotted out of a crowd easily with their rich boy superior attitudes. Hanazawa Rui was different, he could blend into his surroundings as the silent observer of the world. He was the type of person who preferred to study people's actions rather than be a part of them. It was his role as a spectator in the world that gave him his insight to look right through me and know what was wrong.  
  
Walking through the hallway a group of boys ran past me pushing me into the side against the wall. I looked up and watched them jumping and hollering. This can't be good. My mind raced back to that same familiar sound. I looked around at my surroundings. It was eerily quiet. The students seemed to have their senses on alert at the moment. Something was going on and it could be only one thing. Someone had been red-tagged. I wondered who the poor unlucky person could be to have been red-tagged. I walked down the hall closer to the growing crowds forming to watch the public humiliation taking place at the side of the building. I walked closer and pushing through the crowds to see who the poor unlucky soul could be.  
  
The gang of F4 followers had already assembled. They were the usual bullies who followed every order F4 barked at them. They were nothing more than puppets who couldn't act or say anything without the guidance of Doumyouji. I looked to the distance and could see Doumyouji standing from a window. He was staring down at the scene of the beating with that look in his eyes, he wanted whoever that was dead. Next to him were Akira and Soujiro with downcast eyes. They seemed a little uneasy. That was strange wince they usually reveled in the torture of their victims. As I pushed through the crowds, I looked down at the ground.  
  
Laying on the ground was a boy his face was covered in blood and mud. His face was badly bruised as well as his arms. He lay there breathing heavily convulsing as each member of the gang took turns kicking him. With each kick I could see his face wince in pain. He didn't try to get up, but just lay there as if he were pretending to be dead. Every few kicks a dark red spurt of blood would spout from his mouth staining the green grass. I looked to the side of the crowd and noticed Fujio and Jin watching silently. It must have been their first encounter with a red-tagging. I wondered if they had been informed beforehand about the way things worked around Eitoku. I could see the look of horror in their eyes, but at the same time there was a fiery anger in them. They seemed as if they were restraining themselves. Jin moved forward a step about to run in and try to break it up, but Fujio put his arm out blocking him from moving forward. I sighed in relief that he was stopped from interfering. There were repercussions that I had already learned from interfering in another's red- tagging.  
  
As I watched in horror the brutal beating continue. I looked towards the muddy ground around him. Something shiny was glimmering underneath all the messy grime caught my eye. I stepped forward a little to examine it closer. It was a green stone. In horror, I felt a scream rise in my throat. "HARU!"  
  
I ran towards Jin and Fujio in panic. "What happened?! Why don't you help him?!"  
  
Jin and Fujio kept their eyes intently set on what was going on. They didn't even acknowledge I was standing there for a few moments. Still looking at the scene Jin solemnly replied, "We don't know. After our last class we went back to our lockers. Haru opened his and found this."  
  
He passed a tiny red slip of paper to me. I looked down at the red tag. I don't understand how could he have gotten one. Doumyouji wouldn't. He didn't do anything.  
  
"Haru told us not to interfere. He said he would deal with this in his own way. We have to respect his wishes," Fujio said in a low voice.  
  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I looked up towards where F3 stood and ran out into a clearing screaming at them to get their attention. "Doumyouji! Stop this! You have to end this now!"  
  
He looked down at me with a blank expression. I knew he could hear me. He looked directly at me and said nothing. He just turned around and walked away. I ran forward and without thinking jumped on top of Haru's limp body on the ground taking the final hard kick from one of the boys. It hit me hard knocking the wind out of me. I felt my insides revolt in pain.  
  
"You hit Doumyouji's girlfriend!" one boy yelled with fear in his voice.  
  
The boy who had so violently thrust his foot into me trembled. "Let's get out of here before he finds out!"  
  
With as much energy as they had taken to brutalize Haru they ran as fast as they could. They scattered through the crowds parting ways to find a somewhere to hide from Doumyouji's backlash.  
  
I looked down at Haru's face in front of mine. "Why didn't you fight back?" I whispered with hot tears streaming down my face washing away the blood flowing out from the gash in the side of his head. I looked around for any signs of help, but the crowd of spectators had already disseminated. The only ones left were Haru, Fujio, Jin and me. Haru reached his trembling hand to my face and pushed a strand of hair from my face. "Don't cry." he murmured between coughs of blood and let out a faint smile.  
  
Fujio pulled Haru off the ground and sat him up. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around Haru's arm that had a long flow of warm blood dripping down it to apply pressure to the cut. I knelt down beside him and picked up his jade necklace and placed it in my pocket to give it back to him later.  
  
"Get up!" a voice called from behind me. I swung around and saw Doumyouji standing there with his arms folded across his chest. Akira and Soujiro stood behind him and off to the side.  
  
"Tsukasa! Enough of this. We don't even understand why you did this," Soujiro yelled towards him. "Stay out of this!" Doumyouji bellowed.  
  
"Fine. If you won't listen to us, then we want nothing to do with it," Akira replied.  
  
Soujiro and Akira walked over to Fujio and Jin with apologizing looks on their faces not understanding why their friend had ordered the red tag.  
  
I stood up to Doumyouji with a burning hatred inside of me. "Why did you do this?! What did he do to you to deserve this?!" I shrilly screamed at the top of my lungs.  
  
He remained unmoved. With a low calm voice he answered, "You told me to trust you and I listened. I was a fool to believe you. You betrayed me you bitch! I saw you two before at the emergency stairs. I saw you two hugging and talking. How could you do this to me? You are nothing compared to me and you betray me! You're nothing more than a cheap whore!"  
  
I stared at him in disbelief. "What are you talking about?! I was never there with Haru!" It finally struck me. Those words, 'I don't like him staring at you'. I remembered the jealousy in his voice showing his growing dislike for Haru. He had seen us, but it wasn't who he thought it was. It was Hanazawa Rui he saw me with not Haru. He must have thought it was Haru.  
  
"You saw me before, but it wasn't Haru! It was Hanazawa Rui I was talking to. He came back and I was just hugging him because I was so happy he came back. I'm telling you the truth!" I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pressed Hanazawa Rui's number. "Here! He'll tell you he came back!" I could hear the sound of Rui saying 'hello'.  
  
Doumyouji stared at the phone I held out in front of him. He reached his hand out to grab it, but knocked it away letting it fall to the ground with a thud. "I won't listen to anymore of your lies! Don't speak to me ever again! All of this is your fault. You betrayed me and this is what happens. I don't understand why you do this to me. Whenever I'm around you I can't control myself. I lose control."  
  
He grabbed me and began to violently shake me. He pushed my up against the wall bearing all his weight against me. I looked at him in fear with those wild eyes and that strained voice.  
  
"This is all your fault!" He raised his hand raise and I watched it come straight towards my face at full force. I closed my eyes cringing at the impending blow.  
  
"Let go of her!" a deep voice yelled.  
  
I opened my eyes and looked up. Haru had run over and grabbed Doumyouji's arm before he could swing it down towards me. After that beating I was amazed Haru could hold back Doumyouji let alone stand. He stumbled between us and covered me from him and pushed Doumyouji away. "I hate men who do that." Haru mumbled.  
  
He lunged forward at a surprised Doumyouji and threw a punch at him sending him staggering backwards. Doumyouji's face turned wild. He ran towards Haru barreling into him . They returned blows back and forth refusing to fall to the other. Rain began to fall harder making the ground more muddy and slippery. They slid towards each other stumbling to stay balanced. Before long Doumyouji's face was bruised and beginning to swell. He wiped the blood from his mouth on his sleeve and staggered forth for more.  
  
"Haven't you had enough or would you like me to send you to be with your mother?!" Doumyouji sneered.  
  
Haru's face went wild. His eyes widened and he lunged forward like a feral animal. Knocking Doumyouji to the ground, he stood over him. From his pocket he drew something out. He flicked his wrist and a clean shiny blade popped out. He tightened his grip around the handle of his blade and slowly moved forward for the final kill.  
  
"Don't Haru!" I screamed. I ran forward and stood in front of Doumyouji blocking him with my arms out. "Don't do anything you will regret." Haru could not pull himself back fast enough. Blood dripped from the blade onto his hand.  
  
I grabbed my arm in pain. At first a small amount came out, but soon I watched the heavy flow of crimson blood slowly burst forth and run down my arm dripping to the ground from my fingertips. My arm went limp.  
  
From behind Doumyouji, Soujiro and Akira picked him up and pulled him away. Fujio and Jin followed in suit and took hold of Haru. The two fighters stood apart breathing heavily and barely able to stand. I stood between the two groups in the middle trying to create a barrier.  
  
"Tsukushi!" Haru and Doumyouji both yelled out.  
  
Akira threw my phone back at me and nodded his head to the side. Running towards us he came to a stop at the bloody scene.  
  
Doumyouji looked up with his swollen and bruised face. His face went dead in shock. "Rui..." 


	11. Rude Awakenings

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but if I did I would be one happy lady. (^_^)  
  
Chapter 11: Rude Awakenings  
  
We all silently stood there in silence at a standstill. It was one of those moments where everything seemed to move in slow motion. I could see everyone's mouths moving but he words were coming out delayed and slurred. I looked down at my dead arm realizing how the river of blood flowing out wasn't stopping. I felt my head become light and dizzy. Then a few seconds later the world went hazy. My legs suddenly felt weak and I felt them collapse from beneath me letting me fall onto my knees and then my face hit the ground with a thud. I couldn't really see what was going on, but I could hear them talking.  
  
Haru fell to his knees. He stared at the knife in his hand and the warm blood that still trickled off the blade. It fell from his hand. His face turned pale. "I didn't mean to.."  
  
"Tsukushi! Can you hear me?! Tsukushi! Wake up!" Fujio yelled He pulled me onto my back.  
  
"Hmmmm.." I weakly responded.  
  
"Shhh.It'll be fine Tsukushi." Fujio whispered into my ear. He grabbed Jin's coat and wrapped my arm applying pressure to try to stop the bleeding. He turned away from me and whispered to Jin in a panicked voice on the verge of tears, but I could hear everything. "Shit! She just won't stop bleeding. We need to get some real help." He stroked my head trying to calm me. "Everything will be ok."  
  
"Hurry! We have to get her to a hospital!" Hanazawa Rui screamed. He scooped me up in his arms and looked at the others to help.  
  
"We'll take my car to the hospital!" Doumyouji broke free from Soujiro and Akira's hold and ran forward to me. "Oh god!" he cried at the sight of all the blood.  
  
"We can't take her to the hospital." Jin bluntly stated. He pulled Rui back.  
  
"What are you doing?! Get the hell out of my way. She needs to get to a hospital!" Doumyouji roared. He threw Jin aside.  
  
"He's right. We can't go to the hospital. How can we explain all this? Take her to my house. My father's a doctor. He can help her." Fujio explained.  
  
I opened my eyes at that moment overhearing their arguing. I looked up and could see Hanazwawa Rui's clenched face in fear. "Do as he says." I weakly muttered.  
  
"Fine. But we're all coming with you!" Akira yelled.  
  
"Tsukasa we'll follow them in your car!" Soujiro commanded.  
  
Hanzawa Rui ran to his car with Fujio following from behind. He laid me gently in the back seat making with the most extreme care. Fujio sat down beside me applying pressure to the wound trying to stop the bleeding. The entire car ride I could hear the clicking of Hanzawa Rui shifting the gears pushing harder on the car to move faster. Fujio yelled out directing him where to drive.  
  
When we reached Fujio's mansion Fujio tore open the doors screaming, "Dad!"  
  
From behind Rui and Fujio, the others burst forth into the hall panting heavily from rushing over. Their hearts were pounding in fear.  
  
Quickly running down the stairs an older man descended. He wore a pair of slacks and a white shirt with rolled up sleeves. He was almost the exact same as Fujio except for the slow lines of gray streaking his once jet black hair. His face was kind, and he wore the same wired rimmed glasses as his son. He looked at Doumyouji and Haru's bloody and bruised faces in confusion. He then turned towards me lying in Hanzawa Rui's arms. At first he stared in shock with the same look Hana had given me before, but as he noticed the blood dripping onto the floor he snapped out of his trance. "You bring her with me. Fujio you come too. I will need some help. You two I will deal with your injuries later."  
  
He ran back up the stairs and led us into a room. I was laid out on a bed and Hanazawa Rui stepped back to let them do their work.  
  
"What's your name?" the older man asked in a gentle voice.  
  
"Tsukushi." I managed to utter out.  
  
He gently removed my blood soaked jacket and shirt exposing my bra underneath. I noticed Hanazawa Rui quickly turn his back to me at the sight of this.  
  
"Fujio, get me my instruments!" he yelled. He examined the raw wound and gasped, "It's deep. We need to close this up as quickly as possible. We have to hope there's no nerve damage."  
  
"She needs morphine," Fujio alertly called out. He ran to a cabinet and began to sift through many small bottles lined up neatly in rows. His fingers raced through the labels before he grabbed a small vial. "Here!"  
  
His father unfolded his medical bag revealing a set of sterilized shiny silver instruments. He grabbed the small vial and took a syringe sucking up the clear liquid into it. He stabbed it into one of my veins and all the pain that was shooting up my arm began to dull. "Don't worry, Tsukushi. Everything will be ok now," he kindly whispered to me.  
  
My eyes became heavy wanting to close. Everything suddenly went very blurry. I was slipping into and out of consciousness. All I saw was fragments of my surroundings. As I watched Fujio's father trying to stop the bleeding I saw the familiar eternity tattoo on the backside his hand. Fujio was obediently running back and forth with things at his father's barking orders. I looked up to find Hanazawa Rui still in the room with his back turned to me ready to walk out the room. "Wait..Rui, don't leave me." I said with a faint voice.  
  
Hanazawa Rui turned around and I could see the hint of tears welling up on his worried face. I had never seen him look this upset before. I could see it in his eyes. It was true undeniable fear. He walked over and knelt beside the bed. He took my hand into his. "I won't go anywhere. I'll never leave you," he whispered into my ear as he stroked head. Before I knew it my eyes closed and the world went black.  
  
*******  
  
The next morning I awoke with a throbbing sensation through every part of my body. I ached all over especially my right arm and my ribs. I opened my eyes drowsily and looked at the bandage around my arm. I could see the faint trace of blood slowly starting to soak through the white cloth bandage. Around my abdomen I was also wrapped up with bandages. I felt something warm in my hand though. I turned to my left and saw Hanazawa Rui with his head resting against the side of the bed sleeping, but his hand still tightly clutching mine. I moved my hand, which quickly awoke Hanzawa Rui.  
  
"You're awake," he excitedly whispered.  
  
"Nothing can stop a weed like me," I laughed wincing in pain at my body moving from laughing. "Ooowwww.even laughing hurts. How long have I been sleeping?"  
  
"It's 6 in the morning. You've been sleeping for the last 15 hours."  
  
At that moment Fujio and his father stepped into the room.  
  
"I see my patient is awake finally," Fujio's father chuckled.  
  
"Thank you for taking care of me Eto-san." I gratefully replied.  
  
"Well I can't take all the credit. Fujio here took very good care of you before you got here with is quick thinking. I'm still busy taking care of those two outside, but I'll come back and check on you later. Fujio, I trust I can leave you to check on Tsukushi's status. I'll tell the others they can come in now and see the patient." Eto-san grinned. He turned around and quietly exited the room.  
  
"Thank you Fujio." I smiled.  
  
"You had us really worried back there, Tsukushi," Fujio replied fiddling with his glasses in his hand. "Do you mind if I just check Tsukushi's bandages?" he asked looking at Hanazawa Rui.  
  
Hanazawa Rui looked at me and I nodded at him to leave. He reluctantly released my hand and walked out of the room.  
  
"So how is my patient feeling?" Fujio asked with a half serious face.  
  
"I'm alive, but I feel like I've been hit with a truck," I replied.  
  
Fujio began to unravel the bandage around my arm and looked at the sealed up wound. "Hmmmm.." he said under his breath. Carefully he took a clean set of bandages and began to wrap them around my arm.  
  
"How do you know how to do this?" I asked inquisitively. As I watched him tying a knot in the bandages, he looked up at me and pushed his glasses up.  
  
"I've been doing this kind of thing since I was a kid. You could say it's a family business. Every male in my family has been a doctor and ever since I was born I was expected to be one, too. I've been helping my dad for as long as I could remember. It's not that I hate it. I do enjoy helping people, but it's just the kind of people I help. I've seen too many injuries like this..." His voice trailed off somewhere towards the end. His face changed slightly becoming uneasy with the conversation. He quickly changed the subject. "Forget about me. Let's talk about you. After checking on you it looks like your wound will heal nicely. It doesn't look like it's infected. We were lucky that the knife missed any nerves. You should get full use of your arm soon. My dad checked the rest of you too. Those bandages are for your bruised ribs. That guy who kicked you must have kicked you harder than we thought. You should expect some soreness there for the next few weeks. Good thing there was no internal bruising."  
  
I watched Fujio speaking to me explaining my injuries in surprise. He really must have been trained since he was young to be a doctor. He spoke with such clarity and understanding of everything.  
  
There was a knock at the door and Fujio walked over to open it. From my bed I could see three pairs of heads peek through.  
  
"Can we come in?" Akira, Soujiro, and Jin asked in unison.  
  
I looked at Fujio and nodded. Feeling a little bit mischievous I decided to play a mean little trick on them. I winked at Fujio who understood that look on my face and he nodded his head in understanding. I lay my head back on my pillow and closed my eyes.  
  
The three boys tiptoed over to my bed careful not to wake me. They looked like a wreck. Their hair was uncombed and their clothes wrinkly probably from sleeping out in the hall all night. They looked up at Fujio for any sign of my condition. He lowered his head and shook it.  
  
"Makino," Soujiro whispered.  
  
"Makino, it's Akira. Are you awake?"  
  
"Tsukushi we are really worried. Please tell us you will be ok." Jin sadly said. He looked down at my face with an apprehensive look. Fujio grabbed his arm and pulled him aside and whispered something into his ear. He looked up in shock and hid a small smile that formed on his face.  
  
I slowly opened my eyes slightly and looked up at them. I smiled faintly. "Akira. Soujiro. Jin. I don't think I have much time left on this earth."  
  
"No, you can't leave us! You'll be fine. You'll get better in no time and be on our backs about going to class and being more serious." Tears started to streak down Soujiro's face.  
  
"Yeah, who else will keep us playboys in line," Akira laughed through tears.  
  
I once again managed a small smile. I started to move my body to make it look like I was convulsing. I scrunched up my face to appear to be in terrible pain. I pretended to breathe heavily. Between breaths I called Akira and Soujiro closer to my face. "What's wrong?" Akira asked.  
  
"I can't hold on much longer. There's just once think I want you to promise me before I go."  
  
"What is it? We'll do anything!" Akira and Soujiro plead.  
  
"Never call me a hard working virgin again!" I yelled out loudly into their ears sending them jumping back in shock. I burst out laughing at their shocked faces.  
  
"Hey! That's not funny! We really thought you were dying!" Akira screamed quite angrily.  
  
"Yeah, that was not funny at all!" Soujiro yelled.  
  
With some help from Fujio, I sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed. "Well now we're even after that other time in the hospital you guys made me think Doumyouji was dead!" I laughed. I looked over at Fujio and Jin who couldn't help themselves, but laugh at my little joke. My face quickly changed as I winced in pain from laughing. "Ooow, I forgot it hurts when I laugh."  
  
"You really had us worried these last few hours. Tsukasa was having a melt down worrying about you." Soujiro commented. At the mention of Doumyouji's name I recalled what had happened earlier. The smile on my face disappeared. However, I soon remembered another person. "Where's Haru? Is he ok?"  
  
"We don't know. He's been a wreck, too. When we got here he disappeared into one of the rooms and refused to come out or speak to any of us. I think he's just ashamed with himself." Jin said in a lowered voice.  
  
"Well he should be. He stabbed Makino!" Soujiro yelled with anger in his voice. "He tried to kill Tsukasa and ended up almost killing her!"  
  
'Well none of this would have happened if he didn't red tag Haru! He was too stupid to recognize that guy Hanzawa Rui with Tsukushi! Haru had nothing to do with anything and Doumyouji just red tagged him!" Jin screamed ready to punch Soujiro in the face.  
  
"Shut up you two! It was an accident. Anyone else in the same situation would have wanted to kill Doumyouji too. But hey are equally to blamed for what happened. Yes, Haru pulled out a knife and yes Doumyouji had no right to red tag Haru. Ok! They both share the blame!" I sternly yelled at them making them turn silent. "Sorry," they both muttered.  
  
I sat there suddenly having a rude awakening to the situation. We all sat in the room in silence for a few moments. It was a tense moment. We each were lost in our own thoughts over what had happened the day before. We looked at each other knowing that there were two others who would have to deal with their consequences and it all depended on me. "I want to see them both," I flatly said breaking the silence.  
  
It was time for them to deal with their consequences. Only I knew what was going to happen. It was this event that gave me my much needed rude awakening. 


	12. Where do we go from here?

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but I wouldn't mind getting a piece of Rui, Doumyouiji, Akira or Soujiro. Kawaii! : P  
  
Chapter 12: Where do we go from here?  
  
A few moments later Jin and Akira entered the room pulling Haru and Doumyouji from behind. Hanzawa Rui walked in behind the group glaring at them. I looked in disbelief at those two. We all sat there in silence no one dared to make the first move. Doumyouji looked at me with downcast eyes ashamed of himself not being able to look me in the eyes. His left eye was purple from the black eye and his face scratched up. He limped a little with each step he took. Haru was equally banged up with a black eye, some cuts and one of his hands bandaged up. They still wore the same blood stained clothes from yesterday and their eyes were bloodshot probably from not sleeping at all the night before. Their faces looked as if they had aged a few years with their hollowed eyes and wrinkled faces. How did it come to all this? I didn't even recognize these two men in front of me.  
  
"So now you two have nothing to say for yourselves," I broke the silence. "Fujio give me a hand." He walked over and helped me off the bed and onto my feet. I stumbled a little but he held me up with his strong arms. I staggered towards the two boys standing in front of me. Fujio let go of me to support myself and I straightened my back.  
  
I pulled Haru's face up and made him look directly into mine. THWACK! I slapped the back of my hand across his face with all my might sending him stumbling a few steps back. He touched his face that now had a pink hand imprint on his cheek. He looked at me with a trembling face unsure of what was to come next.  
  
"We are even now. I know it was an accident that I was stabbed, but I know it was Doumyouji you intended to kill. I'm not angry at you for this," I quietly said. I looked down at my arm hanging from a sling. "You know someone could have died. If not me, Doumyouji." I slowly remembered what Hana had asked me from the beginning and I began to realize what she meant. In the beginning I knew I couldn't really keep my promise to her, but I realized now I had to for the sake of both of us. "I want you to leave! Don't speak to me! Don't come near me ever again!" I madly screamed with my hair flying all over my face.  
  
Haru looked up at me with regret and sorrow all over his face. He slowly turned away and began to walk out of the room with his head lowered in resignation. He slowly creaked open the door. With his face turned away from view he muttered something, I'm sorry. I just want you to know I never would have hurt you."  
  
"It's a little too late for that. We can't take back what is done." I icily replied.  
  
Haru walked out of the room letting the door click as he left letting the deathly silence take over once again. I looked up at Doumyouji who was standing next to the spot Haru once occupied.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tsukushi. I didn't know." Doumyouji began to speak. He looked pleadingly into my eyes, but I was dead to his words. He waited for me to hit him too. I raised my hand but dropped it to my side seeing the pointlessness in it.  
  
"You're not even worth it. You don't know anything do you? I'm tired. I'm tired of all this." I interrupted with a dull voice. "You know the truth now, but it's all too late isn't it? I remember you once telling me that no matter where I went you would go to hell and back for me. Well, the truth of the matter is that I've been to hell and back with you since we met. We can't continue like this."  
  
He looked at me with pain in his eyes. I could see from his face he was grasping for any hope that I would forgive him. "Tsukushi, please just forgive me. All I ever did for you was love you. I love you more than anything in the world."  
  
I laughed bitterly to myself. "This is what you call love? All we ever do is hurt each other. " Inside my heart was shattering into a million pieces. I knew things could never go back to the way they were, but I still loved him nonetheless. I fought back the urge to break down and sob in front of him. I could feel a lump rising in my throat with each breath I took. I fought to maintain the dead expression on my face. "We're finished. I don't know where we will go from here. I love you, but all that ever seems to come out of this is pain and hurt. I don't want anything to do with you right now. Just leave me alone." I felt all the energy drain from body, but struggled to appear strong.  
  
"Is this the end?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know. All I know is that I can't stand the sight of you."  
  
Doumyouji looked at me in utter disbelief. He turned away from me and trudged out the door letting it slam behind him.  
  
I fell onto the couch no longer able to stand. I couldn't hold it back anymore. Tears began to fall onto my hand clenched against the side of the couch. My legs had lost all feeling. Jin, Fujio, Akira and Soujiro quietly slipped out to chase after Doumyouji and Haru. Only Hanazawa Rui remained. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me while I cried between choked sobs into his chest. He just held me there as long as I needed him.  
  
When I finally composed myself. I looked up into his face so close to mine. He had a look of pain at seeing me in such turmoil. "Hanzawa Rui, can you take me home?" I asked weakly. He nodded a yes and helped me up from the couch and led me out the room leaving behind all the agony that resided in the room.  
  
*******  
  
I turned the key to the apartment door and with a click pushed the door open. Hanazawa Rui let me use him as a crutch to hobble into the dark apartment. I looked around for any sign that Susumu might still be at home. I didn't want him to see me like this right now. How could I explain this to him? I hobbled over to a spot in the corner near the open window and sat on the ground leaning my back against the wall. Outside the ground was already dry from the downpour yesterday. The sun was shining brightly sending its rays through the window hitting my pale face. Hanzawa Rui, who I expected to have already left, sat down beside me. We sat there in silence looking out at the world outside.  
  
"I still love Doumyouji after all this. It's quite pathetic, isn't it? Hanzawa Rui, where do we go from here?" I asked in a faint voice. I let out a sigh and once again I was overwhelmed with emotions. The tears just wouldn't stop.  
  
He started talking, which shocked me a little. He normally would have been the one to quietly listen, but now he was the speaker. "I didn't tell you why I came back, did I?"  
  
I looked up at his calm, expressionless face. I could see the temerity in his eyes at revealing himself to me. I just continued to stare out the window waiting for him to take his time.  
  
"It's not what you think. I broke things off with Shizuka. I realized now that the first time I left her I was just being a selfish child wanting her to need me and only me." He laughed a little to himself. "When I saw how hard you and Tsukasa fought for each other I realized that I had given up on Shizuka so easily. You were the ones who pushed me to go back and try again. But I think by that time we had exhausted our chances. Shizuka had already grown out of me. She may be the only woman I will ever truly love, but I couldn't hold onto someone from the past. I loved her as a child, but as I man I couldn't love her in the way she needed me. We were never meant to be together. As much as we said we loved each other, she could nerve bring herself to say it. So I did. I ended it." I saw a lonely tear fall from his face. "Sometimes we just have to let go. You might think that tomorrow will never come and the world will stop, but life continues. You just have to continue to live."  
  
I watched Hanzawa Rui show me a side of himself he had never shown anyone, not even F4 or Shizuka. I nodded my head understanding what he was trying to say. No matter how much I loved Doumyouji and he loved me we couldn't hold onto something that perhaps was never meant to be. We were both different people now. I closed my eyes and fell asleep with my head resting on Hanazawa Rui's shoulder. For now, I could think of nothing else but the escape of slumber.  
  
******  
  
When I awoke Hanzawa Rui was already gone. I looked up and realized that I was lying in my bed. He must have carried me to my bed and tucked me in. From outside my room I could hear the clanging of pots and pans. There was a loud sound of glass shattering onto the ground.  
  
"Crap!" Susumu screamed from the kitchen.  
  
I stretched my aching body and managed to lift myself out of bed. I trudged over to the kitchen and stood in the doorway watching in silence as my brother ran from side to side picking up broken glass cutting himself on the sharp shards.  
  
"Susumu.." I called out.  
  
He dropped the shards onto the floor once again and ran over to me. "Oneesan, you're awake! You shouldn't be standing. Go sit." He pushed me over to the living room table and sat me down in front of the table. He then quickly scurried back into the kitchen holding a bowl of something and placed it in front of me.  
  
I looked down at the mess. I couldn't really tell what it was, but from what I could tell there were pieces of vegetable and meat floating in watery rice water. "What is this?" I asked with a bewildered look afraid to eat his concoction.  
  
"I made you some porridge like Mama would when we were sick! It's not quite the same, but I think it's close enough. I never realized how much work cooking took." He looked at me with puppy dogs eye waiting for me to try some.  
  
I picked up the spoon and scooping a very small amount and shoved it in my mouth. I managed to let out a fake smile before swallowing the horrible burnt stuff into my mouth. I didn't want to hurt his feelings after all the effort he took into it. "It's good." Inised I hoped that I wouldn't be reliving the taste of the stuff over the porcelain bowl of the toilet.  
  
Susumu's face lit up. He intently watched me slowly eating his horrible cooking. After I finished he pushed the bowl aside and looked directly into my eyes. "You disappeared yesterday and didn't come home last night? Then I come home after school and find you banged up sleeping on that strange Hanazawa Rui's shoulder. He wouldn't tell me anything and just told me to take care of you. What happened?"  
  
I took a deep breath trying to find the right words. Not wanting to keep him in suspense any longer I relayed my long tale. As I finished I watched Susumu rise from the table with clenched fists.  
  
"I'll kill those bastards!" he yelled clenching his fists. "I don't care if he's Hana's brother or the son of the richest family in Japan. No one hurts you!" His eyes became wild burning with fury.  
  
"No! Don't do anything. I've already taken care of it." I tried to calm him down.  
  
He fell back to the ground shaking his head. He couldn't protect me and he hated himself for being useless. As we sat there both wondering what would come of this we were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.  
  
I could hear the shuffling of feet and some muffled whispers. Susumu walked straight into his room wanting to leave our guest and I alone.  
  
"Yuki.." I managed to utter between tears.  
  
She took one look at me and gasped in horror. "Soujiro called me and told me that you needed me." She knelt down beside me and once again I told my story through muffled sobs. Yuki just watched me with an understanding look quietly letting me talk. She let me cry in her arms into the night. 


	13. Let me feel again

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but I wouldn't mind a piece of Rui, Akira, Soujiro, or Doumyouji! Kawaii!  
  
Chapter 13: Let me feel again  
  
The next few weeks in school my body slowly started to heal. I finally was able to stop wearing the sling around and all that was left was a scar from the stitches on my arm. I looked forward to the upcoming vacation in relief from sneaking around school all the time in fear of bumping into him. I avoided any and all contact with F4. I even avoided Hanazawa Rui who had helped me so much. It was too much to be around them for fear that Doumyouji might show up. He hadn't been to school those last few weeks since the incident. It had been pretty much the same with Haru, Fujio and Jin. Fujio had come to my apartment a few times to check up on my injuries, but we strictly avoided any conversations about Haru. In class, Haru stayed to the back of the room and did his best to stay as far away as possible  
  
I remembered how little I knew about Fujio, Jin, Hana and Haru. They always remained so secretive and I still didn't really understand why Jin had insisted that I not go to the hospital. There was just something suspicious about how they wanted to keep things under wraps. I thought maybe it was because they didn't want people to know that Haru had done this to me, but it seemed like there was more too it. Then there was another incident soon after I returned to school that I questioned.  
  
I had heard rumors about what had happened to those boys beat Haru. I overheard some girls whispering about something. Apparently there was someone copying F4. Those boys had received black tags on their lockers. They just laughed and threw them into the trash thinking it was a joke.  
  
A few days later, I saw Hana walking through the lawn and curiously ran after her, but she was too fast. She was wearing the normal Eitoku uniform with the white blouse and brown skirt. She had her hair tied up in a high ponytail letting her long mane sway back and forth with each bouncy step.  
  
As I approached from behind the building I watched in shock. She had called those boys there to meet her. They tried to attack her making some dirty comments about how easy it would be to take advantage of her. I was about to jump out from my hiding spot to protect her, but she did something that completely astounded me. It was five against one and I thought for sure she was going to get hurt. They lunged at her, but with a cat like gracefulness she dodged all their hits. She swerved around them and quick, hard movements. She knocked one of them to the ground kicking his leg out from under him with a cracking sound of his broken ankle. The next boy much larger than the first one rammed towards her to attack her from behind, but she quickly swung around and jammed her palm into his face breaking his nose with another loud cracking sound. He keeled over in pain screaming. The next two decided to team up against her and managed to grab her from behind while the other started to rip the top buttons off her blouse. She once again reacted stealthily swinging her legs up kicking her assailant away and pushing the one holding her onto his back. She kicked one of them in the face sending a few teeth flying out of his mouth. The other one she snapped his arm back dislocating his shoulder. He bent down in agony while she pulled harder and harder until he passed out from the pain. The last boy was practically begging for mercy and fell to his knees pleading she not hurt him. She slyly smiled and lifted his chin up to look at her.  
  
"This serves as a reminder to regret ever messing with the Tse family. When you wake up tell the rest of them that if anyone finds out about this I will make sure you won't be punished this lightly," she whispered into his ear.  
  
With a twist of her wrist she snapped his neck and dropped his head to the ground. She scanned around her to make sure no one had seen what had just occurred. I slunk back into hiding spot making that I would not be discovered. I watched her pull off her blouse exposing a white tank top underneath. Her exposed arms and shoulders revealed her svelte body sculpted from her training. She looked down at her knuckles which had been bruised dripping a mix of the boys' blood and her own. Slowly she walked away without taking another glance at the massacre she had left behind.  
  
My heart was pounding I snapped back into reality after thinking about that strange situation I had earlier seen. What was it with people in that family? As I crossed the bridge over the gardens I overheard Akira and Soujiro whispering to each other in a serious tone.  
  
"Have you tried to talk to him? Akira solemnly asked.  
  
"No. He's holed himself up in his room refusing to speak to anyone." Soujiro replied shaking his head.  
  
"He can't live like this much longer. All he does is get drunk every night and go into a fit of rage destroying everything."  
  
I walked away not wanting to hear anymore. Everything was just too confusing. First it was that scene with Hana and now this news about Doumyouji. I shouldn't be worrying about him anyway, I told myself. He was the one who pushed this upon himself. I tried to force myself to forget about him, but in the back of my mind I couldn't leave the issue alone. Wanting to escape from all these thoughts I ran. I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go to the stairwell and risk seeing Hanazawa Rui. I soon found myself in a dark room.  
  
I walked slowly through the dim room careful not to bump into anything. It looked like one of the many lecture halls, but on stage there was a lonely piano in the center of the stage. I took a seat in he back of the hall trying to find some peace. Suddenly sounds began to come out of the piano. I looked up and saw a solitary boy gliding his fingers across the keys. A dark, slow melody slowly flowed from the piano. I listened hearing all the pain and anguish that resided in him being released through the music. I don't know what compelled me to move closer, but the music drew me into a trance towards it. As I approached the pianist stopped out of surprise.  
  
"Tsukushi." he said in surprise.  
  
"Haru" I gasped.  
  
He quickly stood up from the bench and reached to take his bag and leave. He turned away and began to walk off.  
  
'Wait!" I yelled towards him.  
  
He turned around to face me stunned that I stopped him. I took a seat on the bench and patted the space beside me signaling him to sit. He obediently walked back over and took a seat.  
  
"Can you keep playing?" I asked.  
  
He put down his bag on top of the piano and once gain his fingers flew over the keys releasing that haunting melody. I closed my eyes lost in the song. When he finished playing I opened them and look at him.  
  
"Did you compose this?"  
  
"Yes. I wrote it for someone very special to me," he mumbled very lightly.  
  
"It was for your mother, wasn't it?" I asked.  
  
"How did you know?" he asked with a cold voice. He seemed disturbed by the thought that I knew one of his many secrets.  
  
I slid my fingers feeling the coolness of the ivory keys. Suddenly compelled to have more music I started to play a song. Slowly the soothing sound of Canon in D Major floated through the air. Haru just kept his eyes concentrated on my hands gliding carefully across the keys. As I came to a stop I looked up at him. His face was so peaceful, no longer hard and stern as it was before when he was playing. He actually smiled a little.  
  
"This is one of my favorite songs. It's so simple, but it can easily make you feel happy." I said. "There's just an innocence and purity I find it. It always helps me forget all my worries for even the briefest of moments." I sighed streching my arms up over my head. "Hana told me about your mother. She also told me that I should stay away from you. I think we both now know the reason why" I looked at my arm touching the spot of the lingering scar. "I once did a favor for you, and now I would like you to do one for me."  
  
"What is it?" he asked in a quiet voice breaking the silence of the hall.  
  
"When I first met you I thoughts we were friends. I believed that there could be no bad that lied within the lonely boy I saw. I would like to believe you only wanted to be a friend to me too and maybe that was driven in part because of my resemblance to your mother. But there is one thing I hate most in this world. I hate people who lie to me and I believe you have been doing this to me all along. I saw what Hana did to those boys who beat you up earlier. She is not as innocent as she seems, and neither are the rest of you. Fujio told me about how he has seen injuries like mine all too often. Then there was the strange insistence that Jin made to not take me to the hospital when I was stabbed. Finally I saw the change, the anger that you hid within you. I think you at least owe me the truth."  
  
Haru glanced up at my cold fixed face. I continued to stare straight ahead not wanting to look at him while I spoke. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it to carefully choose his words.  
  
The coldness in his voice frightened me a little, but how else could he explain his dark past, but with a sad, distant voice. "Images can be deceiving, can't they? Everyone here assumes my father is some rich businessman from Hong Kong. The wealthy Tse family," he laughed bitterly to himself. "I am wealthy, but the way my family became wealthy is not something I am proud of." His voice trailed off as he began his tail. "My mother was a good woman, but she was trapped in a dark world she was born into. She was just a simple, kind traditional Japanese woman. She married my father in an arranged marriage to increase an empire. It was a great joining of two of the greatest underground families joining Hong Kong with Japan. You could say that my father was a career oriented man and liked to bring his work home. I was raised to take over the family business. You must have noticed our eternity tattoos." He turned his head and pulled down the collar of his shirt revealing the eternity tattoo I had noticed earlier on the back of his neck. "I got this when I turned thirteen, as a reminder of who I belonged to and what I was destined to inherit as leader. Hana and the others have one too. This is the crest of our group. We are yakuza, Tsukushi. No matter what where we go we will be identified as triad or as we are known in Japan, yakuza."  
  
"Yakuza?" I gasped. It just didn't seem possible that they could be a part of something like that. I never would have thought that this group that seemed so friendly and harmless could be so dangerous.  
  
He continued to speak ignoring my dumbfounded expression. "I used to see this mark as a symbol of greatness and power. Now I just see it as nothing more than a curse. It was this that blinded me and destroyed everything. Fujio and Jin are my companions. Their fathers are my father's left and right arms. As you've already seen, Fujio is trained to be our organization's doctor. Who else could treat all our stab and gun shot wounds without any questions? Jin is trained as our negotiator and lawyer. It's his job to cover up our messes. My fate is to be the leader and executor of the organization. Hana." he sighed. "She's been trained as a decoy. She may look harmless, but she has trained all her life as a fighter. No one would suspect the daughter of a yakuza to be the most deadly of the group." He ran his fingers through his hair and laughed bitterly once again. "A year ago, the yakuza was my life. I couldn't wait to take over the business, but my father insisted his children have the best education. So, I spent most of my life away from my parents and Hana in any boarding school that would take me before expelling me. My only family was Fujio and Jin who followed me everywhere. The only light in all this darkness was my mother. She was a kind, and gentle woman. She hated violence, but turned her head the other way to my father's business. I was a ticking bomb waiting to explode. I probably worried her more than any other mother in the world with all my gang fights. When I was with her in Hong Kong she was always the one waiting with bandages each night after our street fights. She worried I would die a young stupid death with the way I was going. I didn't listen to her, though. I thought I was unstoppable and nothing would stop me from rebuilding my street reputation. My name invoked fear, 'Black Haru'. I can't remember how many times she begged me to stop, but I didn't listen. I didn't hear her until it was too late. She never told me or any of us." tears began to fall down his face dripping onto his clenched hands. "She was sick and hiding it for a long time. We later found out she was in the last stages of cancer. She was already too far gone to get treatment. She wanted to die naturally. I still remember that night. I had come home badly beaten limping through the door. I expected her to be at her normal place on the couch waiting with bandages and a bowl of warm water to wash away the blood staining the floor. But she wasn't there. I found her in her bed coughing up blood. I wanted to bring her to the hospital, but she wouldn't let me. She wanted to die in her own house. Before she took her last few breaths she made one final plea. Those words are burned into my mind. She said, 'Promise you'll escape. I couldn't, but my children still can.' I knew what she meant. She struggled out her final breath and then she was still. I came to Eitoku under my mother's wishes. She left a letter to Hana and I. She wished that we would come to Eitoku and make something better of ourselves. She was a student here many years ago when she was our age. It was that day I died. My spirit died with my mother. I couldn't even bring myself to attend her funeral and say goodbye. I had gotten drunk the night before and was completely passed out in my room during her burial ceremony. I really am a useless son? I couldn't even go to my own mother's funeral. All that matters is that I fulfill her wishes now. I thought if I just buried the darkness that once lived within me I could escape it all, but then I met you. You remind me so much of her. That time you lectured me about smoking threw me back. My mother would always lecture me the same way you did. When I saw Doumyouji try to hurt you my old self came out and it frightened me. How easily I could be pushed back into that world by one person. To make matters worse I hurt the person I was trying to protect. I couldn't protect you like I couldn't protect her."  
  
I let out my breath that I had been holding the entire time during his story. I reached into my pocket and pulled something out that I had been holding onto for the last few weeks.  
  
"Here, You dropped this that day. I meant to return it to you earlier." I opened his hand and placed his jade pendant into his had. He clutched it tightly in his hand making his fingers turn white by the force of his grip. He opened his hand and rubbed the smooth rock between his fingers. He flipped it over and revealed some engravings on the back. It read: 'Always with you -Okaasan'  
  
"This is all I have left of her," he gravely said. He tied it around his neck and let the shimmery jade dangle from his neck. "That is the entire truth. I'm dead inside and there is no rescuing me. I'm not better off now than I was a year ago. I understand if you would prefer I stay away from you like you asked me earlier." He stood up and turned away.  
  
I sat there in complete shock. It was just too much to try to absorb at once. Everything now fit into place. It all suddenly made sense. The tattoos. The secrecy. I don't know what came over me, but my legs began to move from under me. I got up and ran forward grabbing him from behind. 'I'm sorry," I whispered to his back. "It wasn't you fault. You are a better man."  
  
He turned around and wrapped his arms around my waist. I could feel his warm tears falling onto my head. He pushed me away from his body for a moment and stared into my eyes with his piercing brown eyes.  
  
He bent his head down to mine and pressed his warm, soft lips against me.  
  
He kissed me with a tenderness I had never felt before. It was completely different from Doumyouji. The tenderness of his kiss was with a sense of trepidation, not the forceful confidence of Doumyouji. I stood there in complete shock surprised by his actions. The thing that surprised me the most is that I kissed him back. We stood there alone on that stage under the dim light shining above us lost in the moment.  
  
He pulled away from me and my face blushed. He drew my head to rest against his chest and laid small kisses onto my hair. He whispered, "I know now she sent me here to find you. I fell in love with you the moment I saw your smile." He nuzzled his head onto my shoulder. "Can you do something for me?"  
  
I looked up into his begging eyes. "Do what?"  
  
"Let me feel again.." 


	14. Surprise Kidnapping!

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but if I did ooh laa laa.  
  
Chapter 14: Surprise kidnapping  
  
"I don't know," I muttered under my breath.  
  
Haru hugged me closer to his body not wanting to let me go, but I was thrust back into the reality of the situation. All I could think about was Doumyouji and the troubles that lied in our relationship. I could never go through that again. It was all too fast.  
  
I struggled out of his arms and stood in front of him breathing heavily. My face was completely flushed and my heart pounding through my chest. "I'm sorry, but I just don't know." Tears began to run down my cheeks. I watched his gentle face looking at me with understanding. I couldn't bear with all this. It was too much to handle right now. I bolted out of the room with my hair flailing around my face sticking to the tears that flowed like a never- ending river. I kept running and running until my legs could no longer move. I fell to the ground huddled into a ball wanting to be swallowed up by the earth hidden from sight. What was this feeling? Shame for having betrayed Doumyouji or desire to love Haru?  
  
I sat on the ground shivering watching the leaves dance across the cobblestone pathways. Did he really say what I thought he said? I closed my eyes remembering those words he managed to whisper to me as I ran past him, "I'll wait for you as long as it takes."  
  
*******  
  
The next morning I awoke with an earth shattering headache. I spent the entire night tossing and turning over what to do.  
  
"Oneesan! Wake up!" Susumu screamed running into the room ripping the covers off of me exposing my face.  
  
"What the?!" I screamed pulling my pillow over my head to hide my eyes from the cruel sunlight. "Why are you waking me up so early?! School's off for a week!"  
  
Susumu plopped onto the ground next to me trying to pry my fluffy pillow out of my clenched fingers. "I know that's why you have to get up. I have a surprise!" he whispered to the pillow. He got up and walked over to my closet pulling out a simple lavender slip dress and tossed it on top of me. "You have fifteen minutes before the car arrives."  
  
"Car?" I asked. Finally giving up to my own curiosity I pulled the pillow from my face. I looked around the room and realized Susumu was already gone. I picked up the dress he had thrown onto my bed and undressed. I looked at my thin body in front of the mirror. The tan and healthy extra weight I had put on from the summer had dissolved quickly this last month. I pulled the dress over my head wiggling a little to let it drop over my shoulders down the rest of my body. It was strange that it fit much better at the time I bought it, I thought to myself. I looked at the girl in front of me. My eyes were becoming sallow from all the nights of crying. Dark bags had formed underneath them, and my skin had lost its usual healthy glow. What was it about this girl that Haru and Doumyouji could ever love?  
  
"I see you're ready" Susumu yelled from the doorway. His eyes roamed from my head to my toes. "Perfect." He walked in and offered his arm to me. "Shall we be going madam?"  
  
I wrapped my arm into his and walked out the house wondering what surprise my little brother had concocted this time. He was always finding new ways to surprise me. We stood out in front of our building while Susumu eagerly looked towards the end of the street. "So what is this great surprise you have planned anyway?" I asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"You'll see" he excitedly grinned. "There it is!" He released his arm from mine and ran back into the apartment disappearing for a few moments.  
  
I watched the familiar car approaching wondering who it could be. It was unusual to see a car like that one our street. Most people were quite poor in our area and it was a rarity to see any car drive down our narrow street. It came closer and closer. The care came to a stop a few feet away from me. I tried to sneak a peek at who was inside, but couldn't see passed the tinted windows. The doors opened and two people stepped out.  
  
"Kazuya?! Yuki?!" My eyes lit up at seeing them. "What are you two doing here?"  
  
"Surprise!" three voices screamed.  
  
"Surprise? What's going on?"  
  
Susumu came stumbling out of the building from behind me carrying two large suitcases under his arms. He dropped the heavy items onto the ground with a thud and turned to me. "You're being kidnapped!" He pushed me from behind into the waiting car. And slammed the door before I could protest. It's been along time since you've had some fun, after everything that happened. I thought it would be nice for you to go on a little vacation. You're getting too skinny and pale for me. You need some sun and fun.  
  
"Where am I going?!" I screamed rolling down the window. I jiggled the knob to open the door, but Susumu pressed his entire weight against the door blocking me from opening it. "Wait! I can't go anywhere. I have to go to work this week!"  
  
"It's already been taken care of Tsukushi," Yuki smiled as she got into the car from the other side sitting down beside me in the back seat. "I talked to our boss and explained how you needed some time off. She said it would be fine."  
  
I looked at Yuki the co-conspirator to my kidnapping in shock. "Yuki, you were in on this too?"  
  
"Sorry, but Susumu does have a point. You haven't been yourself lately. Just relax and let us take over." Yuki pulled me away from the door and strapped me with the seatbelt.  
  
"This is for your own good!"  
  
"Fine. If Yuki is coming with me too then I guess it's ok." I sighed giving up leaning back in the seat in resignation. "Wait, what about clothes? And where are we going?"  
  
Susumu stepped aside and let Kazuya open the door to get in. Thus, I was sandwiched into the back seat between Kazuya and Yuki.  
  
"I've already planned ahead for you. I packed all the clothes you will need on your mystery trip. You'll just have to wait and see where I'm sending you." Susumu wagged a finger at me grinning mischievously. "By the way thanks Kazuya for helping me set this up!" He grabbed Kazuya's hand and shook it rigorously causing Kazuya to wince a little at the force of Susumu's grip. "See ya later, oneesan!"  
  
With a slap on the car hood we were off. I turned around to look out the window. Susumu was still standing there grinning like an idiot at being able to pull off his plans. As I settled into the seat beside Kazuya and Yuki I just stared ahead wondering what new adventure lay ahead. At this point anything seemed better than spending the next week working at the dango shop and agonizing over my boy problems. I watched the car whiz past the busy streets of Tokyo pulling onto the bridge out of the city. As the scenery slowly changed to mountains and trees my eyes became heavy and I drifted off to sleep dreaming about the many possibilities of our destination.  
  
*****  
  
"Tsukushi!" Kazuya giddily whispered into my ear rousing me from my slumber.  
  
I drowsily opened my eyes and stretched my arms out in front of me. I looked around realizing the car had finally come to a stop.  
  
At the same time Yuki awoke. She raised her head dreamily from my shoulder. "We're here?!" she excitedly squealed perking up right away.  
  
Kazuya opened the door and put out his hand to escort me out. "Close your eyes."  
  
I placed my hand in his and stepped out of the car closing my eyes waiting to see what exotic place I could be in. Kazuya lead me forward a few steps. Yuki stood on the other side of me with her hand on my shoulder. I could feel the soft cool breeze hitting my face. There was the sound of seagulls flying overhead. There was a sweet smell to the air that seemed so familiar.  
  
"Ok. Now you can open them." Yuki said.  
  
I opened my eyes. My jaw dropped. "It's beautiful," I uttered under my breath. I stood on a peak overlooking the most breathtaking view I had ever seen. Stretching for miles and miles ahead of me there was nothing but the crystal clear waters of the ocean. The water was so clean and clear you could almost trace the colors of the fishes' glimmering scales reflecting hues of all shades creating a rainbow under the sea. I looked down at the glitterinh grains of tan sand left completely untouched. The tides crashed against the rocks beneath us sending short sprays of cool seawater into our faces.  
  
Yuki grabbed my arm and turned me to the side. She raised her arm and pointed at something in the distance. 'That's where we'll be staying."  
  
I looked towards the spot her finger was pointing towards. It was exquisite. The building looked like one of those beach resort mansions you only saw in the magazines. It was massively huge and appeared extremely elegant and expensive.  
  
"Come on we should go check in," Kazuya said breaking the silence.  
  
We walked back to the car and I excitedly anticipated out arrival. The car pulled up the winding circular driveway stopping in front of the steps leading to two large double doors manned by servants. I stepped out of the car hoping this was not all a dream. Yuki grabbed my hand and gave me a reassuring little squeeze acknowledging that it indeed was all true. Kazuya walked ahead of us and took care of checking in while the bellhops grabbed our bags to lead us to our rooms.  
  
"Everything's set. Here are your keys ladies." Kazuya dangled a shiny silver key in front of me with the number 10 on it.  
  
I followed the bellhop to my room glancing all around me at my surroundings with wide eyes. It was a really posh place we were staying at. I looked at the wall noticing a painting. It was a Monet. I took a deep breath wondering how I was ever going to be able to pay for all this or had Kazuya paid for it all. It didn't matter because I would never accept all this from him. I would just pay him back as soon as we got back to Tokyo. We finally reached the room with the large number 10 on the door. The bellhop swung open the door leading me in. I felt a tap on my shoulder and spun around.  
  
"Tsukushi, I'm going to settle into my room, but I'm just next door if you need me."  
  
"Yeah my room is just down the hall. How about we meet in half an hour and we'll hit the beach!" Kazuya cheered.  
  
I stood alone in my room dumbstruck. The room was huge. As I walked further in I could smell the cool salty breeze drifting into the room. I followed the trail of wind blowing into the room and stood in front of the large, open glass doors. The transparent curtains blew towards me rising in waves up in the air. I stepped out onto the balcony overlooking the entire beach. "Thank you Susumu," I whispered to myself. I stood outside leaning against the railing listening to the calm roar of the waves feeling the warm sun hit my pale face.  
  
Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
I reached into my purse and pulled out my cell phone. The screen lit up 'Susumu'.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Yo oneesan. I hope you've arrived already. So were you surprised? I was hoping Kazuya and Yuki wouldn't spill the truth."  
  
"I just got to my room. Thank you Susumu." I could hear my voice beginning to crack on the verge of crying. I couldn't contain my happiness anymore as tears began to well up in my eyes.  
  
"It was nothing," Susumu muttered on the other line.  
  
"But how can we afford this?! Don't tell me you asked Kazuya to pay for all this. I can't accept that!" I screamed into the phone wondering where he got the funds to pay for such an expensive trip.  
  
"Ooowwww..You're hurting my ears. Don't worry I've taken care of everything. Let's just say a friend of mine owns a few resorts all over Japan and he was able to pull some strings for me. All I have to do is do his homework for the next 6 months," he quickly blurted out.  
  
"What?!" You shouldn't have agreed to that! You have your own work to do and now your going to take on someone else's!" I screamed holding the phone up to my face.  
  
The line crackled from Susumu's end. "Doo Doo Doo. I'm sorry the number you have called has been disconnected. Please try again," Susumu said in perfect English. I could hear his laughs over the other end.  
  
"Hey! Don't pretend you're not there!"  
  
Click.  
  
"Idiot!" I smiled to myself. Susumu had really put a lot of effort into planning all this from what I could see. I must really look terrible if he went through all this trouble. I spread my arms over my head reaching up to the heavens above.  
  
After about 20 minutes passed I quickly dragged one of the heavy suitcases onto the bed unzipping it to see what clothes my little brother had picked out for me. I prepared myself for the worst wondering what he could have picked out. On top of the pile there was a note written in marker with the large words: "Have some faith in my choice of clothing. P.S. Yuki came over and watched me the entire time so don't worry. -Susumu"  
  
Looking at his crudely written note in a chicken scratch handwriting I burst out laughing. It had been a long time since I had felt this good to laugh. Susumu really knew how to cheer me up. I slammed the suitcase closed and looked at my watch. It was already noon and I was supposed to meet Yuki and Kazuya. I took one last look around my room and something caught my eye. I had already found the closet and bathroom, but there was another door.  
  
It must be to the adjoining room. Wait Yuki's room is next to mine so we must have adjoining rooms. How convenient. A devilish grin spread over my face. I thought it would be funny if I scared Yuki by popping through the door. Feeling euphoric I slowly turned the knob to the door opening it a crack. BOOM! I kicked the door open and jumped through the doorway screaming, "YUKI!"  
  
"AAHHH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I fell to the ground with a loud thud. Sitting in a chair looking out towards the view was someone who definitely wasn't Yuki. 


	15. Life Goes on

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its character cuz if I did I wouldn't be living off of cereal.  
  
Chapter 15: Life goes on, you continue to live  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I could hear the sound of footsteps run into my room. "Tsukushi, what's wrong?" Yuki asked from behind me as I stood in the middle of the doorway.  
  
A door being thrust open in the other room sent a resounding slam against the wall making the wall hangings shake. "What happened?!" a man's voice yelled.  
  
I stood there paralyzed. He was sitting there looking at me with that same deadpan look on his face as usual. "Hanazawa Rui.."  
  
"Yo," he mumbled. A small grin began to grow on his face looking at me standing there with my mouth open in horror.  
  
Yuki stepped forward and pushed past me. "Hanazawa Rui? He can't be here," she laughed. "Soujiro?! What are you doing here?!" she yelled in surprise.  
  
"Yuki! There you are! I was going to go over later to your room to find you," Soujiro grinned.  
  
Moments later more footsteps could be heard from the hallway. "Hey, what's up?" Akira asked peeking his head into the door.  
  
Akira was pushed in by someone sending him stumbling into the room. She strode into the room looking for the cause of the commotion. Suddenly her eyes widened. "Tsukushi?! What are you doing here?" asked Shigeru innocently.  
  
Another person came running into my room. "I heard a scream! Is something wrong?!" Kazuya shouted running past me through the connecting door. He stopped dead in his tracks in shock. "F3?! Shigeru?! Why are you here? I thought you were going to Hawaii with the rest of the school?"  
  
"What do you mean what am I doing here? What are you all doing here?! Out of all the places to go you choose to come here!" I found myself screaming at F3 in rage. How coincidental could this be?! I spend all my time avoiding them at school and when I finally find relief on my vacation they show up.  
  
I threw up my hands in frustration and stormed out of the room slamming the door shut behind me locking it with a click. I threw myself on the bed and buried my face into the soft pillows. A few moments later the front door to my room slowly creaked open. I cursed myself under my breath for not remembering to lock that door.  
  
"Tsukushi." Yuki timidly called out. She sat down on the bed beside me making the bed sink down on her side. I slid down a little closer to her feeling my body fall against hers. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I didn't think this would happen."  
  
I looked up from the pillow at Yuki's apologetic face. "How can this be your fault? You didn't know they would come here. It's just my bad luck that's all."  
  
Yuki put her hand on my back. "Uuummm..you don't understand. This is really my fault. You see, last week Soujiro asked me if I would go to Hawaii with him and I told him I couldn't because I already made plans to come here. Well, he thought it would be a nice surprise to change his plans to meet me here. He didn't know you would be here. And you know how it is where one member of F4 goes so do the rest. Shigeru heard the news so she decided to tag along too. I'm sorry!" Yuki plead in a pitiful voice berating herself for allowing my vacation to be ruined.  
  
I dropped my face back into the pillow wishing I would suffocate on it. "Is he here too?" I asked with a muffled voice from my mouth full of pillow.  
  
"Yes," she weakly replied.  
  
"Wonderful," I sarcastically replied.  
  
"Don't worry. This resort is huge. We might not even see them again during our entire trip. I promise I won't leave your side." Yuki sighed.  
  
I felt a twinge of guilt making Yuki avoid Soujiro the entire time. After all, he had gone through all the trouble to change his plans. I laughed to myself as I remembered a certain other member of F4 changing his plans in a similar manner to chase after the girl he liked. Never in a million years did I imagine Nishikado Soujiro, the infamous playboy, chasing after a girl. I thought about just packing up and having Kazuya send me home in his car, but changed my mind. Susumu had already gone through so much trouble to plan all this. I couldn't make Yuki feel horrible for ruining it all either. That was the type of person I am. I can't stand to let my friends feel bad, even if it means my own unhappiness.  
  
I lifted my face from the pillow and turned to look up at Yuki sitting beside me. "Forget about it. I'll be fine. You should be with Soujiro. He did come here for you anyway." I forced a smile on my face. I got up and pushed her out the door before she could say another word. She opened her mouth to say something, but I was too fast for her. "I'll meet you and Kazuya downstairs in 15 minutes!" I slammed the door in her face and leaned my back against the door waiting to hear her retreating footsteps.  
  
Once again I was alone in the large room. Just breathe, I thought to myself. I walked over to my open suitcase and pulled out my bathing suit. Argh! Why did Susumu have to pick this one out? I dangled the small red bikini in front of me. I remembered the day I got this. It was in Spain when Doumyouji insisted I get a new bathing suit to replace my old simple one piece black suit. I refused to put it on, but with some coaxing from him and the sales girl I bought it. I looked at myself in the mirror admitting it did fit me quite well. I grabbed a t-shirt and short shorts to wear over my bikini. Just in case I put on a pair of sunglasses to look a little more inconspicuous. I let down my hair that was now wavy from the braided pigtails I was wearing earlier. My long brown hair cascaded down my back in ripples. I walked over to the door and put my hand on the doorknob, but turned back for a second. I glanced at the door to the adjoining room wondering what he was doing right now.  
  
As I approached Yuki and Kazuya waiting in the lobby, they stopped talking in their secretive whispers. They both looked up at me with apologetic looks on their faces.  
  
"Don't worry, guys! I'll be fine," once again putting on a forced smile. "Let's go swimming!" I grabbed their arms and pulled them along heading out the doors towards the beach.  
  
I walked out under the hot sun. The cool spritz of seawater blasted into my face. I stretched my arms up in the air breathing in the fresh air. I pulled my sunglasses off and pushed them up pulling back my bangs. I looked around the beach watching the many other happy people walking around the beach, too. It was strange that they were all looking towards one direction whispering to themselves. I turned my head to see what was so interesting.  
  
My heart sank. Lined up in a neat row shaded under sat F4 and Shigeru. Servants were rushing back and forth from the main building to the beach carrying trays of drinks and food. They all were lying down in beach chairs basking in the warm sun. Akira, Soujiro, and Shigeru were quietly chatting to themselves. Hanazawa Rui was lying down with a pair of sunglasses on probably snoozing under the sun, which kind of reminded me of a lazy cat sunbathing. Doumyouji sat beside him with a scowl on his face grumbling to Hanazawa Rui who was probably not listening. I pulled Yuki and Kazuya to walk away before we could be spotted, but it was already too late.  
  
"Yuki!" Soujiro yelled looking up their conversation. He flashed one of his charming smiles and got up to greet us.  
  
Everyone, except Hanazawa Rui, stopped talking and sat up from their seats to look at who Soujiro was greeting. I stood there light a deer caught in front of headlights. Doumyouji just stared at me with an intense glare. It had been weeks since we had last seen each other. It was probably the first time in weeks Doumyouji had set foot in daylight probably. I could see the excited look on his face as he saw me standing there, but it quickly faded into a confused and worried look.  
  
I stood there awkwardly for a long time in silence. "Yo," I mumbled under my breath.  
  
"Yo," Doumyouji weakly replied.  
  
Soujiro sauntered over to us and wrapped his arm around Yuki's waist. Her face blushed at his touch. He whispered something inaudible into her ear making her blush even harder before he pulled her away from me holding her hand leading her somewhere secluded. She didn't even look back at us completely mesmerized by his playboy wiles.  
  
"Tsukushi! Come sit with me!" Shigeru screamed running over to grab my arm.  
  
I tried to stand my ground with my feet firmly planted to the floor, but she somehow managed to drag my dead feet across the sand leaving a deep trail. She pushed me down onto one of the chairs beside her and forced me to lie back. I glanced over to my right over Shigeru's head to see Doumyouji staring at me with a certain nervousness that was very unlike the proud rich boy. I squirmed uneasily in the chair not wanting to be where I was at the moment. Kazuya plopped himself down in the chair next to mine. I looked over at him hoping he would get the hint, but he just sat there with a goofy smile on his face happy to be asked to sit with F4.  
  
I sighed at how dense he was and stood up to remove my shirt and shorts. I unbuttoned my shorts and let them fall to the ground picking it up with my toes and flinging it up to catch in my hand. I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed my clothes down on the chair. I looked down at my bikini. The bottom was a pair of boy shorts and the top a tube style bra. It was bright red. I heard sudden gasps.  
  
"Whoa! Makino looks hot!" Akira yelled from his chair. He winked at me looking up and down at my body.  
  
"Tsukushi." Kazuya stuttered trying to spit out a few sounds. The soda he had been drinking spilled out of his mouth onto his shorts creating a growing wet spot.  
  
I glared at Akira. "Hey! Don't get any dirty ideas!" I blushed a little at the looks I was getting from the guys passing by us. At first I thought it was because of F4, but soon realized they were all staring at me. I glanced back at Shigeru who was also staring at me in shock at exposing so much of myself. I started to feel a little insecure and quickly sat back down folding my arms over my chest. Doumyouji's face was a bright red similar to the shade of my bikini and he couldn't stop staring.  
  
Even Hanazawa Rui woke up and glanced up at me. "You look nice," he mumbled.  
  
I blushed once again at his compliment. "Thanks," I muttered back. I turned to Kazuya, who was still dumbfounded. "It's too hot out here." I sat there uneasily in the strange silence wondering wishing someone would do or say something. Suddenly, from behind me a pair of arms wrapped around my waist picking me off the ground. "AKIRA!" I screamed in bloody murder.  
  
He threw me over his shoulder and began running towards the water. SPLASH! I was sent flying through the air into the water. I stood up dripping water from my hair. He looked at me triumphantly being able to overpower me. He started to smash the water with his hands splashing me with water in a challenging manner. "I thought you might need to cool off!" he laughed.  
  
My face scrunched up about to start screaming, but suddenly a strange sound burst from my lips. It was laughter. I started to laugh so hard that tears came out of my eyes. I looked at him staring at me like I was a mad woman. Yuki and Soujiro came walking up the beach towards us with the same confused looks on their faces. I walked towards Akira innocently still laughing and rammed right into him with my shoulder sending him flying backwards into the water with another loud splash. He stood up dripping wet now and we both burst out laughing once again. We both began playfully splashing each other back and forth as if we were children. We stopped for a moment realizing we had a captive audience. I glanced over at Akira who nodded to me in agreement.  
  
We looked at Soujiro and Yuki our next victims. Akira ran forward grabbing Soujiro and thrusting him into the water, and then jumping in after him. I followed in suit grabbing Yuki hugging onto her body and jumping into the water letting us both fall into the water. When our heads managed to bob up we all started laughing. We waved at Shigeru and Kazuya to join us and they ran into the water holding hands jumping in cannon ball style sending a big splash of water into the air. We all swam in the warm crystal clear water splashing around teaming up boys versus girls. As I watched everyone fumbling around in the water attacking each other I looked directly at Akira and mouthed, "Thank You."  
  
He smiled back at me and just winked. Akira really wasn't as stupid as he seemed at times. Thank god Akira picked up the fact I wanted to get away from Doumyouji's glare and the awkwardness that filled the air when we were near each other. I glanced up through my dripping hair and saw Doumyouji get up and just walk away with hunched up shoulders.  
  
***************************  
  
The week passed by in the blink of an eye. All my worries had disappeared from my mind overcome by the relaxation of this place. Although there were those tense moments when I happened to bump into Doumyouji, we remained civil saying "hello" and making small talk. I couldn't believe how much fun this entire trip had been.  
  
So many happy memories had come out of this trip. Kazuya took me out fishing one day. We decided to take separate dingies out and spent the whole afternoon in the middle of the ocean. I still can't stop laughing thinking about him pulling with all his might trying to pull the fish up only to tip the boat over sending him flying out into the water. He held onto his pole with a death grip and managed to get back into the dung. When he finally pulled whatever was on the end of the line to our surprise it was just an old boot. I fell over laughing until my sides ached.  
  
Now today was our last night here. Tomorrow I would be leaving this paradise and return to the reality of our lives. Work. School.  
  
A smile crept up onto my face. I sat on the railing of my balcony watching the sun slowly set over the horizon. The sky was alive in shades of purples, oranges, reds, and yellows. From above the black sky slowly dropped down like a curtain calling to and end of the day. I stared intently watching the bright sky losing the battle to the night. A cold breeze blew past my face sending my long locks dancing like fingerlike projections through the air. My feet dangled from underneath the long shroud of my gown. I had just finished getting dressed for the party the resort was holding that evening. I chose to wear an aquamarine silk gown. It had thin string like straps that tied into bows on my shoulder and the bottom was long with an asymmetrical cut. The back was cut very low almost to my waist leaving my back completely exposed. I touched the Saturn necklace that hung around my neck. I just couldn't bring myself to take it off.  
  
"Tsukushi.." a cold voice called from behind me.  
  
I turned my head around and smiled. "Hanzawa Rui," I whispered with my voice being lost in the wind. I completely lost my breath at the sight of Hanazawa Rui. The moonlight shone from behind him creating a strange white glow around him. He wore a completely pristine white tux with a cream colored shirt inside. He looked like an angel. My guardian angel.  
  
"What are you doing? The party started already and everyone is waiting for you. " he asked sitting down beside me.  
  
"Nothing really. I just wanted to watch the sunset." I leaned my head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. His body was so warm. I could smeel the sweet scent of his body.  
  
I looked up only to see him staring at me with those piercing brown eyes of his. I blushed a little seeing him look at me that way.  
  
"You look beautiful tonight," he whispered to me. He held me closer and rested his head on top of mine.  
  
I raised my head and looked at his face that I had been burned into my memory so long ago. From the distance I could her the faint sound of music being played. It was a slow song that drifted up to us from below. For that one moment we were frozen face to face to each other. From afar I could hear these words, perhaps god was sending me a sign. He hopped of the ledge and reached out a hand to mine bowing slightly. I looked at him and put my hand in his. He pulled me into his arms and I just looked up into those eyes.  
  
***********************  
  
Some day, when I'm awfully low, When the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you... And the way you look tonight.  
  
Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm And your cheeks so soft, There is nothing for me but to love you, And the way you look tonight.  
  
With each word your tenderness grows, Tearing my fear apart... And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, It touches my foolish heart.  
  
Lovely ... Never, ever change. Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it ? 'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.  
  
Mm, Mm, Mm, Mm, Just the way you look to-night.  
  
***********************************8  
  
The song came to an end and we stood there still in each other's embrace. Our faces were just inches apart. Suddenly something completely unexpected happened. He leaned forward impetuously and kissed me hard and passionately on the lips making my knees go weak. My eyes were wide open in shock, but his eyes were closed tightly the entire time. I closed my eyes slowly and let myself be overcome by his warmth. I could feel a warm tingling sensation run down my body into every part of my body. He wrapped his arms around me tracing his fingers against my bare back. I could feel chills go up my spine and my body trembled to his touch. This only prompted him to rub his hands up and down my back. His hands calloused from all those years of playing the violin brushed against my smooth skin.  
  
After what felt like forever, we both pulled away from the kiss out of breath. I looked into his eyes in confusion. What were we doing?  
  
"I've wanted to do that for a long time. I almost lost you once, but I'll never let you go again." He whispered in a low voice. "I love you, Tsukushi."  
  
I gasped in shock. "Hanzawa Rui." I muttered.  
  
"No, just call me Rui," he said with a pained look in his face.  
  
"Rui.." I whispered to him.  
  
His eyes lit up with hope. "When I sent you back to Tsukasa I thought it was the right thing to do, but now I know I should never have let you go. It hurts me every time he hurts you. I promised I would never leave you and this time I won't give you up. Tell me you still love me like you once did."  
  
My mind was swirling with confusion. Is this what I had always longed for all along? Now was my chance to have Rui all for myself. I would never be the second woman in his life after Shizuka. Now I was all he wanted.  
  
I broke out of his embrace and watched the hurt look clearly on his face. Flashes of Doumyouji, Haru and Rui spun through my mind in flashes. I grabbed my head in pain. "I'm sorry." I found myself saying. I ran away from him out of my room wanting to escape leaving Rui standing there in shock.  
  
"Tsukushi!" I heard him scream after me.  
  
I ran downstairs and found Yuki and Kazuya waiting down below. When I reached the end of the stairs I was completely out of breath and my face flushed.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Yuki asked with a worried expression on her face.  
  
I quickly tried to regain my composure. "No nothing's wrong" I smiled weakly. I put my arm in Yuki's and walked ahead with my eyes straight ahead. I was too frightened to turn around at the chance at seeing Rui's face there.  
  
I walked out onto the beach to see the lights strung up all around us. There were small tables set up on the sides for people to eat dinner. In the center of the area they had set up a dance floor. Couples were already out there dancing wrapped in their partner's arms swaying to the slow music. With the soft roar of the waves of the ocean crashing nearby it was truly such a romantic scene. The black sky was lit up by the stars twinkling in the distance. Kazuya pulled out two chairs form the table for Yuki and me and we sat down. I watched all the couples so much in love and felt that sinking feeling in my heart. I had to give them all an answer.  
  
"It's beautiful," Yuki said under her breath. A pair of arms wrapped around her from behind.  
  
"Yeah, beautiful," Soujiro whispered into Yuki's ear. She turned around in surprise to look into Soujiro's hungry eyes. He kissed lightly on the shoulder and took her hand leading her out onto the dance floor.  
  
I sat there silently watching them dance and noticed Akira, Shigeru, and Doumyouji sitting at a table across the dance floor. The couples danced in between us blocking my complete view of them As they passed by clearing the view I looked up and saw Rui mysteriously appear from somewhere with a grave look on his face. He looked deathly quiet and ignored anyone who spoke to him. He stared intently at me locking eyes with mine. I looked away in shame for having hurt him.  
  
I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up to see Kazuya's hand stretched out in front of me. "May I have this dance?" he nervously asked. His hand trembled in front of me.  
  
I took his hand and walked out onto the dance floor. As we swayed around the dance floor Kazuya tried to pull me closer to him, but I struggled pushing him away. I knew he liked me more than a friend, but I had made it so clear so many times that all I wanted from him was to be his friend. I smiled at him and gave him that look that meant just friends. He nodded in resignation and we continued to dance. I glance over his shoulder and could see the look of wild jealousy in Doumyouji's eyes. He was fighting back the urge to pull Kazuya off of me. He was showing greater restraint than usual. Rui looked at me with those dead eyes. I couldn't read what it was he was feeling or thinking at that moment. I stumbled around the dance floor with Kazuya. He was trying the best he could, but his dancing skills were extremely poor. He kept stepping onto my feet and I knew they would probably be swollen later.  
  
I felt a light tap on my shoulder and I let out a sigh in relief.  
  
"May I have this dance?" Akira asked grinning at me sympathetically. He lightly pushed Kazuya aside and took my hand.  
  
"Thank you so much," I whispered into his ear.  
  
"I saw him stepping over your feet and knew I had to cut in before he crippled you," Akira laughed.  
  
I continued dancing with Akira feeling safe in his arms. It was way easier being around someone who always had a light and friendly aura around himself. I knew around Akira I never had anything to worry about him falling in love with me, I laughed to myself. I looked over at the table watching Shigeru pulling on Doumyouji's arm trying to get him to dance with her. He sat screaming at her probably about not wanting to dance. She gave up and then looked at Rui who acted as if he hadn't heard anything. She finally gave up and plopped herself back into her seat. Kazuya then stepped up to her and offered to dance. Her face lit up and she took his hand unknowing of how bad a dancer he was. She soon learned form the pained looks on her face each time he stepped on her feet. She was beginning to lose it ad started screaming at him while he cowered from her wrath.  
  
"Uh oh, it looks like another damsel is in distress. I better go help Shigeru before she kills him," He let go of my hand and ran over to Shigeru to break them up before someone got hurt. Shigeru smiled and gladly took his hand pushing Kazuya away.  
  
I stood in the middle of the dance floor a little lost trapped in between all the couples who had formed a circle around me blocking my exit. I stood there uneasily feeling strange. A hand reached out and spun me around grabbing me into his arms.  
  
"Rui." I gasped.  
  
"You can't push me away," he sternly said in a cold voice.  
  
A sudden pang of guilt spread over me. I rested my head on his shoulder getting lost in the music. All I needed from him was his protection, but that wasn't possible. Right now his pressuring me for an answer was only hurting me. He held onto me not wanting to let go. I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he only held on tighter.  
  
"You're hurting me," I whispered in fear.  
  
He looked down at me in shock. He immediately released me. "I'm sorry," he mumbled earnestly. The music came to a halt and we stood there staring at each other. "I didn't mean to." He looked at me with hurt in his eyes.  
  
I walked past him standing there in shock. "I can't give you an answer right now, but someday I will" I whispered to him.  
  
He grabbed my hand as I slowly retreated. He pulled me back and laid a kiss on my forehead. "Take your time." Rui let go of my hand and released me.  
  
I walked off the floor onto the beach towards the water. The moonlight reflected off the water sending off ripples of light. I took off my heels and tossed them aside to walk in the soft sand. I stepped into the water letting the incoming tide hit my feet. The water felt cool against my legs. I just walked along the water away form the party wandering aimlessly lost in my thoughts.  
  
"Tuskushi!" a familiar voice yelled out to me.  
  
I turned around and looked to see who was calling me. He was wearing a sleek black tux with a white shirt on the inside. The top buttons of his shirt was open exposing his broad chest. He was barefoot too with the cuffs of his pants rolled up a little to keep his pants form getting wet. His face was calm, but at the same time there was an urgency in his voice.  
  
"Doumyouji?"  
  
He walked forward and took my hand and we walked along the beach together quietly. As I felt his warm hand in mine I looked ahead down the beach and noticed Yuki with Soujiro who had also wandered off apparently. They were locked in an embrace dancing barefoot on the sand underneath the moonlight. Why can't it all be that simple? I asked myself. Wasn't it all a matter of boy likes girl and girl likes boy?  
  
We stopped at the sight of Soujiro and Yuki together. Not wanting to invade their privacy we turned around and began to head back towards the party. We walked in complete silence. Only the crashing waves hitting our feet and the faint sound of music drifting away from the party lingered in the air.  
  
Doumyouji stopped and I felt my hand being pulled. I turned around and looked at him speechless.  
  
"Tsukushi, I'm sorry about what happened," he pleaded. His face was downcast. I could see the dark circles forming under his eyes. He had lost the fierceness in his expression. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.  
  
It had been so long since the last time I had felt his body against mine. I fit perfectly into his body conforming into place. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed this old familiar feeling. It was safe and reassuring. We listened to the music in the distance and we began to dance to the music.  
  
"I still love you," he whispered hoarsely into my ear.  
  
I paused for a moment. I do still love him, but we can't be together. Every part of my body just wants to forgive him and go back to him.  
  
"I'm not sure if I still love you," I said flatly.  
  
He looked down at me with a hurt look like an injured animal. "You still love me! I know it! Why else would you continue to wear this?!" he started shouting madly. He touched Saturn necklace hanging from my neck.  
  
I reached to my neck and touched it. I just couldn't bring myself to take it off. It held so much meaning in it. It was a reminder of Doumyouji's undying love for me. "I just don't know," I choked through sobs.  
  
He held me in my arms for as long as possible. I closed my eyes trying to find some reason to come to an answer, but everywhere I looked in my mind and heart came up with the same answer. I knew what it was.  
  
"Let's just try again? I know we can rebuild our trust. Our love is enough to overcome all this."  
  
I stood there still hoping for some sign that this was the right decision. Then I stopped to the music in the air we were dancing to. It came. Divine intervention.  
  
I looked up into the vastness of the sky, perhaps giving me a sign. Be it fate or god or whatever I took it as a sign that the world was against this. The stars that once shone ever so brightly above us faded away. It seemed as if all the stars suddenly died. They probably had existed in the cosmos for thousands of year, but now they all seemed to die together tonight at that moment. The sky was now completely black and barren bearing the resemblance of a dark cemetery. Fighting so hard the stars had finally given up to burn out. With that so had my love.  
  
The song came to an end and I stopped moving. My whole body went dead and I pulled away from him. I untied the necklace from my neck and placed it in Doumyouji's hand. He stared down at it hard and gripped it into a fist. He fell to his knees and tears began to run down his face.  
  
"What does this mean?" he asked in a low voice.  
  
I knelt down in front of him and struggled to keep a cold, calm expression. "I can't be with you anymore," I whispered. I planted small kisses on his forehead letting my lips trail down his face onto his lips where I lightly pressed my lips for the last time against his. "Please don't hate me," I begged. I stood up and turned around not wanting to see my face crumble and the tears fall began to fall.  
  
I walked away slowly, but soon broke out into a full sprint. I ran and ran until I reached my room. The tears wouldn't stop. I fell onto my bed choking between sobs. I curled up into a ball hugging my legs wishing I could disappear. As I lay there breaking down I could hear a faint knock on the door.  
  
"Tsukushi? Is everything alright?" Rui asked from the other side of the door.  
  
I was a little relieved that I had remembered to lock that door before stumbling into the bed. I managed to find the strength to speak in a calm voice, "Please all of you just leave me alone." I watched the doorknob turn slightly, but then it turned back. At the realization it was locked.  
  
This is the way it had to be. I couldn't hurt them and myself forever. I needed to be alone and that was the way it should have always been I never belonged in their world. I was always just a visitor. I lay there crying through the night. I finally fell asleep between sobs. I comforted myself to sleep with the words that Rui had so poignantly once said, " Life continues and you continue to live." 


	16. No more tears

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Chapter 16: No more tears  
  
Where am I? Did it really all happen? I groggily thought to myself.  
  
I awoke the next morning with a pounding headache wondering if the night before had been all a dream. The room was eerily quiet only to be disturbed by the howling sound echoing outside. I stumbled to of bed tripping over my gown that was now thoroughly wrinkled. There were pieces of clumped up dried sand still stuck onto the hem chipping off with each step I took falling onto the soft carpet.  
  
I somehow managed to make it to the window pressing my body against the cold glass. The sky was dark and looming and the waves of the ocean violently crashed against the shore scaring away any life that dared to approach the angry sea. Slowly, tiny rain drops began to fall from the sky hitting the glass with small plinks. I looked through the window seeing the faint trace of my reflection looking back at me. I reached my hand up to my neck touching the bare spot where the saturn necklace once hung. I could feel my stomach lurching thinking about what I had done. I hated the person I saw before me. I looked ahead staring at the figure in front of me with the blood shot eyes, dark circles, and limp frame. I hate her.  
  
An uncontrollable anger was rising in me that could no longer be contained for another minute. Hatred seethed through every fiber of my being. I thrust the glass doors open with an earth shattering crash. The wind howled trying to usher my body back inside, but I overpowered it taking one small firm step at a time. I could feel the cold rain and wind hitting every art of my body like tiny daggers trying to subdue me, but I moved on. I grabbed onto the ledge railing and with trembling hands lifted myself onto it. I shakily touched pulled my feet up onto the stone railing and forced the rest of my body up standing on the thin ledge. My waif like body should have tumbled backwards against the forces of nature. I held my ground. I looked down at the ground below me sensing the thin line between life and death that could be breached with one false step. I closed my eyes and just listened to the chaos around me wanting it to all to stop right now.  
  
"Tsukushi!" voices cried from behind me.  
  
I turned around and standing there with panicked and determined faces stood Rui and Doumyouji.  
  
"Don't come near me!" I could feel the words exiting my mouth with power.  
  
"Get down from there before you hurt yourself!" Doumyouji cried out to me.  
  
"Tsukasa's right. You're scaring us. Please come down." Rui commanded in an urgent voice.  
  
"Take my hand, Tsukushi!" they both yelled in unison pleading for me to just grab on to one of them. They each reached out a hand for me to grab onto. Their hands were only a few inches away from my body.  
  
I felt my arms rise from my side and I saw the hands in front of me. My left to Rui and my right to Doumyouji. They each edged a little closer to take my hand. A small smile crept onto my face. In slow motion, I felt my body fall backwards and I could feel the sinking feeling of my body picking up more speed as I plummeted to the ground. I could see their faces in front of me screaming something, but I could no longer hear them. I saw my arms reach up towards them, but it was to no avail. My body drifted farther and farther away from them. I lay there feeling the air hitting my back as I fell faster and faster. It almost felt like smiling. The strangest part of it all was I was the euphoric happiness that spread through me. I closed my eyes counting the seconds before I would hit the ground. 5.4.3.3.2.1  
  
THUD.  
  
"Aaaahhh!" My body convulsed jolting up from the bed thrusting the sheets off my body. Beads of cold sweat dripped down my face. I grabbed my chest feeling my heart trying to jump out of my chest. I sat up panting heavily struggling to get air into my lungs.  
  
What was that? I think my heart almost stopped.  
  
I walked to the bathroom and turned on the light with a flick of the switch. I leaned my hands against the side of the counter and turned on the faucet watching the sink slowly fill up with a pool of water. I plunged my hands in cupping a handful of cold water and splashing my face with it washing away the sleepiness. I grabbed a nearby towel and rubbed my face fiercely trying to remove the black streaks of mascara that had dried onto my cheeks.  
  
As I packed my bags savoring the last few moments of this vacation I cringed at the thought of accidentally seeing them. I zipped up my suitcase and glanced at the door to the adjoining room. Could he still be there? Everything could change with just the turnoff that doorknob. Inside I hoped that I could gather the courage to walk into that room and just seek his comfort. I couldn't. Things would never be the way they used to be. Not now. Not ever again.  
  
Knock. Knock.  
  
"Come in."  
  
Yuki's face appeared around the corner. "Are you ready to go?"  
  
"Mm hm.." I lazily muttered still lost in thought trying to search through the room for any remaining items I had missed. I picked up a shirt on the chair and began to nervously fold it on the bed with my back turned to Yuki.  
  
Yuki stood there silently staring at me. Her voice was calm. "I bumped into Doumyoiji last night. He was a complete drunken wreck and Soujiro had to take him back to his room. Then Hanazawa Rui stormed past us and locked himself into his room with Akira chasing after him. Did something happen?"  
  
I stopped folding the shirt I had already folded and unfolded for the fifth time. I told Doumyouji we could never be together." I bluntly said finally giving up on the shirt and tossing it into one of my bags. "Oh, and Rui professed his love for me."  
  
"What?! He told you he loved you!" Yuki screamed in shock. "I remember you telling me he was in love with Todousan. Did you leave Doumyouji for Hanzawa Rui?"  
  
"No. I told him I couldn't answer him now. There's just too much going on right now. I don't think I could ever be with another person from that world. I just want to live my simple life."  
  
Yuki stepped forward and put her arm on my shoulder pushing me to turn around and face her. I just smiled.  
  
"What is it?" I innocently asked.  
  
"It's not good to bottle up all your emotions. It's better to just let everything out. Aren't you the least bit upset?"  
  
My shoulders tensed up. "I've cried too many tears for him. The tears just won't come out anymore. I realized last night that the entire time I've known him I've cried more tears of sorrow than anything else. Our love only hurts us. It's for the better."  
  
"What about Hanzawa Rui then?"  
  
"I don't know," I sighed. "Although I found myself falling in love with him before Doumyouji, too much has happened. We're all different people now. Maybe the girl I was a year ago loved him, but now I don't know. We have a strange, confusing history. I couldn't bear to hurt him. I couldn't give him a direct answer, but I think he knew what it was. I'm such a coward." I laughed bitterly to myself.  
  
Yuki nodded her head in understanding. "Well I'll always be there for you. You know that, right?"  
  
I placed my hand on Yuki's head. "Of course. Don't worry about me so much. Remember I'm a tough weed." I smiled.  
  
Yuki nodded her head. "Well then let's get your things downstairs. Kazuya's waiting."  
  
We each grabbed a bag and walked out of the room in silence. I brought my key to the counter while Yuki waited on the side for any signs of Kazuya. It was strange for him to be late.  
  
"Excuse me, miss. There's a message for you," the person at the counter handed me a note with some hurried scrambled writing on it.  
  
I opened up the folded piece of paper recognizing Kazuya's handwriting:  
  
Tsukushi,  
  
Gomen. By the time you read this I will already be back in Tokyo. My father is unable to meet some very important clients and I had to go in his place. Don't be mad with me, but I asked F4 to take you and Yuki back.  
  
-Kazuya  
  
The moment I looked up from the piece of paper I was surprised to see F4 and Shigeru standing in front of me. Akira, Soujiro, and Shigeru cheerily waved towards Yuki and me, but Doumyouji and Rui stood apart form the rest of the group. Doumyouji and I quickly averted our gazes not wanting to look at the other right now. I knew there would be a strange awkwardness.  
  
"Yo, Tsukushi. Ready to go back to Tokyo?" Soujiro asked. He walked over to Yuki and draped his arm over her shoulder.  
  
"Yep!" I smiled under all my nervousness.  
  
The six of us stood there awkwardly for a moment trying to figure out what to do next.  
  
"Why don't we divide up our group then since we each brought our own cars? Yuki will come with me of course. Tsukasa you take Shigeru in your car. Umm.Tsukushi you can go with."  
  
"I'll.." Rui began to say.  
  
"She'll come in my car! That'll save Rui the extra trip to stop off at Tsukushi's!" Akira yelled grabbing onto my arm and raising his hand like a kindergarten kid holding onto a partner.  
  
I watched the look of disappointment on Rui's face. He closed his mouth and just walked away sulkily.  
  
Akira dragged the last of my luggage into the trunk and slammed it close with a loud thunk. He walked over to Soujiro as they began whispering to themselves. I sat in the passenger seat watching their intimate conversation. Every once in a while they would glance up and look in my direction only to nod their heads and look back towards the other. Doumyouji impatiently honked on the horn signaling Soujiro and Akira to hurry up so they could leave. Rui sat in the car behind ours and dreamily stared out the window in a daze. Akira waved at Doumyouji apologetically and came running back into our car strapping himself in with the seatbelt. We were off.  
  
I dreamily kept my eyes plastered on the view from my window. We sat there in silent through most of the trip. I was glad that for once Akira wasn't his usual talkative self, although it was a little creepy considering it was Akira. As we drove along the highway the cars slowly separated and our group had separated. Doumyouji drove like a maniac swerving through the cars disappearing into the traffic in front of us. The others had disappeared later in the midst of all the cars ahead of us. I sat in my seat and closed my eyes relishing in the peaceful quiet of the car. I only opened my eyes again when the car came to a stop in front of my apartment building.  
  
"Looks like it's going to rain," Akira said interrupting the silence.  
  
"Mm hmm." I replied.  
  
There was another long awkward silence.  
  
"I wish things didn't turn out the way they did."  
  
"So do I," I coolly replied. .  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~  
  
*A/N: Well I'm currently writing up the conclusion to this, my first fanfic. It's a little sad to have to let go since it's my first. It's pretty damn long actually reaching 30+ chapters. That's what I guess happens when you make them short. Don't be surprised if one day I get fed up with revising and just post the whole thing at once. Two months of my life on this story has been quite long enough. I don't like to dwell much on the past. 


	17. Normal

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.  
  
Chapter 17: Normal  
  
I dragged my luggage up the steps and stuck the key into the door. I put on a happy face expecting Susumu to come running out of his room to greet me, but the apartment was deathly silent. I left my bags by the door and walked around for any signs of life. All the lights were turned off. I walked into the kitchen spotting a growing pile of dirty dishes Susumu had left. The apartment had become extremely cluttered with clothes, papers, and miscellaneous items strewn across the floor. On the refrigerator there was a note from Susumu.  
  
Oneesan, I'm going to spend the weekend at a friend's house. Be back Monday. Ja ne. -Susumu  
  
I let out a deep sigh at the mess my brother had so kindly left for me. Finding nothing better to do I rolled up my sleeves and began to scrub the dried up scraps of food left on the plates in the sink. After a few hours, of mindless cleaning I finally go the apartment back to livable conditions. I laid on the floor and fell asleep with the mop still in my hand. I was only awakened later when my stomach growled in protest for some form of sustenance. I tried to go back to sleep ignoring my hunger, but the growling just got louder and louder becoming almost as loud as the thunder outside. So, I picked up my tired body and walked over to the refrigerator.  
  
"Susumu!" I screamed. It was completely empty except for a few random lunch boxes.  
  
Even though my brother appears to be responsible and mature, he could really be inconsiderate at times, too. I sifted through the mysterious boxes of leftovers that had probably sat in here from a week ago. After opening a box of what smelled and looked like god knows what, I dumped the rest of the contents of the fridge into the trash and decided to go out to buy dinner. It was already 11 at night and most places were probably closed for dinner by now. I threw on my coat and grabbed an umbrella. I ran through the streets to the closest convenience store.  
  
I browsed through the racks of fatty snacks and instant ramen trying to decide what would be the least unhealthy for dinner. The store was crowded with a few other people running in from the rain looking for a quick fix to their late night hunger. I clutched the basket in my hand and continued strolling through the aisles.  
  
"I wonder what's wrong with that guy outside? He looks really hurt. He didn't even respond when I asked him if he needed help" a girl whispered to her boyfriend.  
  
"Who knows? What kind of guy sits outside during a storm like this? Forget about him and hurry up so we can go home" he replied to his girlfriend.  
  
I couldn't help but hear this conversation. I glanced out the window and realized that the rain had picked up. The rain fell harder and harder creating a monsoon type environment. It seemed as if the rain was hitting you in all direction. I snapped out of my thoughts and just quickly threw a few things into my basket. I quickly paid the cashier and snatched my umbrella from the basket in the front door.  
  
The automatic doors opened and I pulled my collar up looking up at the sky. It was complete chaos outside. I could barely see a few feet in front of me. I shrugged my shoulders and prepared to make my mad dash back to the apartment. I sprinted out, but with my bad luck I dropped my wallet into a puddle with a loud splash.  
  
"Damn it!" As I turned around my umbrella was caught in the wind and flew out of my hand. I watched my poor umbrella flail through the street scraping against eh pavement being lost in the haze of rain. I let out an aggravated sigh and decided to salvage my wallet. I bent over to pick it up, but as I looked down at the ground another hand bent down at the same time. I saw the droplets of rain falling onto the ground, but mixed in between it was something red dripping down. I looked at the hand in front of me in shock. There was a small flow of blood slowly dripping off the fingers being washed away by the rain. I looked up at the face in front of me between the strands of hair that had plastered themselves to my face. Water was dripping off his face. It was that familiar face I had run away from once before.  
  
"Haru."  
  
"Being your usual clumsy self I see," he replied in a small voice. He looked into my face and let out a little smile. He picked up my wallet and handed it to back to me.  
  
I stared at him in a state of confusion. He was completely drenched from head to toe. On his shoulder slung a large duffel bag that was also completely soaked from the storm. His face was cut and bruised up quite a bit. His lip was cracked and seemed to start becoming swollen. I reached up and touched his face causing him to flinch at my slightest touch. He was wearing black leather pants and a midnight blue dress shirt. He raised his sleeve up to his mouth and wiped away the crimson blood. His shirt was torn in places revealing a soaked wife beater underneath clinging to his frame. Although he was forcing a smile for me, I could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes.  
  
"Why don't you go home?" I suggested. "I'll hail a cab for you". I stretched out my arm to stop an oncoming cab, but Haru pulled my arm back down to my side.  
  
"Don't bother. I can't go back there. Ever."  
  
I looked at the seriousness in his face. Something had definitely gone down. Just go, Tsukushi my head screamed. Leave him alone. Don't get yourself involved in something you don't know about. I turned around. "Fine, but I've got to get home then," I coldly replied. I started to walk away clutching my bag close to me.  
  
My heart was what stopped me. A sense of guilt overwhelmed me. I couldn't bring myself to leave him. Not like this. Only for tonight. It'll just be one night. I turned around and ran after him.  
  
"Wait!" I ran up to him and grabbed his free arm over my shoulder. "Come with me." He held onto me tightly leaning his weight against my shoulder. He was really weak. I was trying my best to support him and thankfully my apartment was only a few blocks away.  
  
I unlocked the door and thrust it open. I released myself from Haru's grip and ran in with my bags leaving them on the kitchen counter. I quickly ran through the apartment gathering the things I needed. I threw the first aid kit onto the ground and placed the softest towel I could find into the warm water. I looked up in surprise to see Haru still standing in the doorway leaving a small puddle on my once dry floor. I got up and took his hand leading him to the living room to sit on the floor. He sat there shivering under those wet clothes. I walked into Susumu's room and tried to dig through his drawers for something he could borrow and finally decided on an old t-shirt and sweatpants.  
  
"Here. You need to get out of those wet clothes. You can borrow these." I put the pile down next to him and walked into my room to get changed. I peeled off my wet, cold clothes and tossed them onto the floor. I changed into an oversized t-shirt and shorts. When I stepped back into the living room he was changed and sitting on the ground hunched over hugging his legs. His face was lowered and buried in his knees. I walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He raised his head up. I knelt down beside him and turned his face towards mine dabbing the cuts on his face with the moist towel. He flinched a little, but tried to make it seem like nothing was wrong.  
  
"Can you tell me what happened?" I asked.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." He curtly replied.  
  
"Well maybe I should call Jin or Fujio? They might be worried about you."  
  
"No. Promise me you won't call them. I don't want them involved."  
  
"Ok," I warily agreed.  
  
I continued to clean up and bandage his face, while we remained in perfect silence. It didn't want to intrude in his personal business, and he would tell me if he wanted to. After I finished with him I walked into the kitchen and made two cups of noodles and some tea. I set the food in front of him and ate in silence while he looked away from me lost in his own world. He didn't seem to be hungry or feeling anything at the moment. Seeing as how it was already one in the morning I pulled out a comforter from my closet and left it beside him and went back to room.  
  
"Good night." I turned off the lights and watched him for a moment sitting there with his back to me. It was completely pitch black in the room expect for those few brief moments when lightening would strike sending a beam of illumination into the room outlining his figure. I sighed and walked back into my room leaving the door open so I could see him from my futon. As I lay there watching him sit there unable to sleep I patiently waited for him to lay down and go to bed. It was only when he picked up the comforter and laid down on the floor was I able to close my eyes in relief.  
  
As I faintly closed my eyes to drift off to sleep I could hear a faint whisper from the other room, "Good night, Tsukushi."  
  
Around three in the morning I woke up from the sound of crashing thunder outside. I looked out the window and saw the dim glimmer of the street light fade out with a hiss. I pushed my comforter away and sat up to look out the window. All the lights were out and darkness consumed the streets. I sighed a little in relief that Haru was here with me. It was just one of those nights you were thankful you were not alone. I walked over to the doorway shivering wondering why the room had suddenly become so cold. I hit the switch to turn on the light, but there was nothing. The power must be out. The heater must be off too, I thought to myself. I grabbed the walls finding my way to the kitchen and pulled out a candle. I lit the match and a small faint flicker of light came forth. I slowly walked back into the living room covering the flame with my hand trying my best not to let it go out. I sat on knelt down on the floor and watching him repeatedly toss and turn. He pulled the t-shirt off and continued to roll around with his eyes closed. I inched a little further and touched his forehead with my hand. It was on fire. His face was turning red as cold beads of sweat dripped down his face. The rest of his body felt like ice.  
  
"Shit!" I mumbled to myself. He must be coming down with pneumonia. I felt my heart stop for a moment in fear. I panicked trying to think of something to do. The first thing that came to mind was to call Fujio and Jin get them over here to help, but I couldn't. I already promised not to contact them. Suddenly an idea came to mind. I remembered what Doumyouji had done that time we went skiing and were trapped in the empty cabin. I was almost dying from pneumonia after being lost in the snow for a few hours. There was no other way than this to bring down his fever and keep him warm.  
  
I placed the candle down next to me on the floor. Haru was lying on his side shaking in delirium. He probably won't remember any of this, I reassured myself. I looked towards the wall and pulled my shirt off over my head. The dancing of the flame on the candle reflected our shadows against the wall. I pulled the comforter up and slid my body in next to his. I pulled his chest closer to mine shivering at how cold and lifeless he felt, but soon I could feel his body beginning to thaw from the warmth of my body against his. Haru's face soon eased and he lay there peacefully sleeping. I lay there staring into his face wondering what a rough life he must have had growing up surrounded by the underground world of yakuza. Right now he slept peacefully with the face of an innocent child not the hardened mask he always wore. I smiled thinking to myself how beautiful he looked when he slept. Suddenly he shifted a little and wrapped his arms around my waist entwining his legs with mine. He had me pinned down in his hold unable to move. I tried to push him over to release myself since I had planned on getting up before he awoke, but now that didn't seem possible. I struggled, but gave up to just lay there. It oddly felt comforting to be in his arms. It was nice to feel someone else's warm body against my bare flesh. I didn't get that feeling of melting into his arms like Doumyouji. It wasn't event hat spine tingling sensation of being with Rui either. There was no sense of dread in accepting this embrace. With Doumyouji and Rui it was always a matter of choosing one friend over the other fearing the repercussion of destroying the relationship between two friends. I realized then why I could never allow myself to be with Rui. It would always be too complicated with him. I already had to bury those feelings I had for him so long ago. Why revive something I had tried so hard to forget in my heart? I had already hurt Doumyouji enough by leaving him, too.  
  
All he had left was F4. Going to Rui would only take away his last oasis of comfort-his friends. Having Haru's arms around me just felt right at the moment. He gave me a sense of the past being completely erased from my memory. It was all so uncomplicated. All I had to do now was live in the present moment. I closed my eyes and thinking maybe this was the way things were supposed to be. Fate had given me this perfect feeling. Maybe it would just be a temporal feeling, but I savored every second there in his arms. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep thinking to myself, it would be alright to be like this. Just for tonight.  
  
********************************  
  
I woke up feeling a warm pair of arms still wrapped around my waist. I sleepily opened my eyes in confusion. At first I had an intense sense of shock, but soon realized where I was. I opened my eyes wider and stared into that sweet face in front of me. He was sleeping peacefully. I could feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest and his breathing was no longer heavy. I pulled my hand up from under the sheets and put my hand up to his forehead. It felt cool and I sighed in relief that his fever had broken.  
  
I knew I shouldn't have been so selfish, but I couldn't help myself. I just wanted to be in his arms for just a little longer. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but some mistakes we are failed to repeat over and over again. I leaned my face in closer to his and carefully pressed my lips against his thinking I could just steal a kiss without any consequences.  
  
His eyes opened and I quickly pulled myself out of our kiss. There was a look of confusion written all over him. He looked under the sheet and caught a glimpse of my bra and the bare soft porcelain skin of my stomach against his. His legs were wrapped around mine. He blushed in embarrassment.  
  
I jumped up and grabbed my shirt wrapping it around my upper body to save him from any further embarrassment. "You came down with pneumonia last night and the power went out shutting off the heater. I was so scared that you would die. It was the only way I could think of keeping you warm," I nervously explained. I ran into my bedroom to put on my shirt only to find him sitting upright on the floor with the comforter covering his waist down. His chest was exposed and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of lust in my eyes.  
  
"Sit down." He patted the space next to him and I obediently plopped myself to the ground. We sat there in awkward silence both wondering what to say about that kiss. It was one thing to spend the night with him to lower his fever, but it was another to kiss him the next morning. 'Thank you."  
  
I uneasily shifted myself a little farther away from him in an attempt to distance myself before my primal urges overtook me. "Your welcome." I sat there wringing my hands trying to find some distraction to escape the awkwardness. It seemed like I always got myself into situation like this. It was the same path always. Fall for the mysterious boy with a dark past.  
  
"Tsukushi."  
  
"Yes," I answered dreading what he was going to say.  
  
"Have you thought about what I asked you earlier? My feelings haven't changed."  
  
I wondered to myself if this was the right thing to do. Could I really escape the past and start fresh with Haru. Was it really that simple to let go of the past? He could give me everything I needed. Trust. Understanding. Love. I wasn't even sure how much I loved him and in what way. All I wanted to do was to feel whole again. I lifted up his hand and slowly traced the word with my finger in his palm. "Yes."  
  
Haru's eyes lit up like I have never seen before. He scooped me up in his arms and swung me around the room smiling. Feeling dizzy I tapped on his arm to stop. We stood there staring into each other's eyes. He lowered his head a little while I stood up on tiptoes. Our lips found each other and he passionately kissed me easing away all my memories of Doumyouji and Rui.  
  
----------------------------  
  
We walked down the sidewalk hand in hand approaching the gates of Eitoku. There we were walking hand in hand wearing our school uniforms. From one point of view we looked like any high school couple walking together. It was a strange feeling to be holding his hand out in the open. I couldn't help but care about the looks from the other girls who saw us together. I could see the look of rage in their eyes at having taken the mysterious enigma, Haru off the market. However, others were giddy over the prospects of the proof that Doumyouji was free from my grasps. The plotting looks in their eyes were enough to see they had their sights on the bigger prize.  
  
I looked ahead and noticed Fujio and Jin worriedly pacing back and forth. They looked like wrecks. I started to walk a little faster, but Haru pulled my hand back.  
  
"I'm not ready to see them yet. I'll see you later." He flashed me a cheeky smile and gave mea quick peck on the cheek. Before I could say anything he jumped up and climbed over the large stone wall that guarded Eitoku's grounds.  
  
I shrugged my shoulders not questioning his strange ways and continued to walk towards the entrance. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened between those three.  
  
"Where is he?! You think he would have had the decency to come tell us what happened. I would think he would come to us. I can't believe he would just leave like that!" Jin screamed in Chinese.  
  
Fujio twirled his glasses in his hand. "Don't worry he's bound to show up sooner or later. He's always like this disappearing, but u can't help but feel a little worried this time. It's serious. I didn't think he would come back to get him."  
  
The two continued their conversation thinking they were safe from anyone who could understand. Little did they now I understood every single word passing between them. I hurriedly walked past them unnoticed since they seemed too preoccupied in looking for Haru. Could they be talking about what a happened last night?  
  
I went through my morning classes occasionally glancing towards the empty seats where Fujio, Jin and Haru usually sat. I pondered over how strange it was that Haru had packed all his books, uniform, and a few sets of clothes into his bag that he was carrying. Who and what could he be running from now?  
  
When classes finally ended I aimlessly wandered outside hoping maybe I would find Haru. I needed to know the truth. If we were to be anything I needed to know what was going on. My answer came rather unexpectedly when I heard a heated argument going on from beneath me. I leaned over the side of the bridge over the gardens and found Hana, Haru, Fujio and Jin arguing back in forth in Chinese.  
  
"Where were you?! Do you know how worried I've been!" Hana screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Yeah.Fujio and I had to run all over Tokyo looking for you. Then we find you taking a nap out here. Where did you go last night?"  
  
Fujio was standing there nodding his head in agreement with the others, but spoke up in his usual calm voice. "We all knew he would come back one day and find us. It's not that easy to leave the family. No matter how much you try to delude yourself you can't deny your blood."  
  
"You shouldn't have picked a fight with him. You know how difficult he can be, but he would have listened to you if you hadn't picked a fight with him."  
  
"I don't understand why you always stand up for that man! He is everything that mother hated. Just look at what he did to me, his own son. You saw him send his lackeys after me and this is how he wanted to bring me back. Dead or alive! He can't make me go back!" Haru screamed in frustration.  
  
Hana became very solemn. "He's still our father. I can't deny the man who is responsible for giving me life."  
  
"Life?" Haru bitterly laughed. "What type of life is this? Always watching your back from the law and our enemies. Everyone wants us dead. He could care less if his children were killed even if it were by his own hands."  
  
"Come home. If I talk to him he'll forget about what happened."  
  
"No. Tell him he has no son." Haru walked off. Hana, Fujio, and Jin stood there huddled in conversation.  
  
"He's not going to be pleased with us at all," Hana sighed to herself.  
  
Father. The words rang through my head like an alarm. His father did this to him. I remembered Haru describing his father as shrewd "businessman", but I never would have expected anyone to treat their family this way. I made a dash for it and followed Haru to wherever he was going. I silently pushed the door open with a creak and found him hunched over the piano playing madly slamming down the keys in discordance. He looked up and dropped his hands down to his side. I sat down beside him and rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hair and began to play a slow, melancholy song.  
  
"Your father did this to you, didn't he?" I spoke up. His hands stopped and the room went dead.  
  
"How did you know?" Haru asked in an annoyed voice.  
  
"I overheard you talking to the others earlier," I replied in perfect Chinese.  
  
"You understand Chinese?" he asked in shock.  
  
"I have my secrets as well," I laughed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I need to know what happened. I can see it's killing you inside."  
  
Haru let out a heavy sigh and rested his chin on my head. "My father came back from Hong Kong yesterday. He had a job for me that I outright refused. I won't do his dirty work anymore." He clenched his fists fighting off the urge to punch something. "When I refused he sent his men after me to drag me back to the manor. I fought them all off as best as I could, but there were too many of them. Hana saw me run out of the house with my things. She has no idea of the things my father does. She's always been kept in the dark about these missions. She's his perfect China doll. She's never been allowed to go on our missions. It's always been Fujio, Jin and I to take care of everything. She can't fathom the things we have done. All the sins we must atone to." He looked down into my face and smiled. "I wonder sometimes what I ever did to deserve you."  
  
I leaned my face against his shoulder. "So do I," I laughed.  
  
"Come with me." He grabbed my hand and pulled me from my seat running.  
  
"Where are we going?!" I yelled as he dragged me through the door. "I still have class to go to!"  
  
"It's a surprise! We can't waste a beautiful day like today," he secretly whispered into my ear pushing me forward from behind.  
  
We walked hand in hand without a care in the world laughing. For once in a long time there would be no drama in my life. We were young and nothing could stop us. As we walked out the gates I noticed a car passing us by. He stared right at me glaring at me in confusion and rage.  
  
"Doumyouji."  
  
"Did you say something?" Haru asked.  
  
"No, nothing." I smiled.  
  
Haru pulled me onto a bus. A bus of all things to ride. Not a Porsche. No limos. A simple bus. We stood there a few stops before he pulled me out. We stood in the middle of the busy downtown. He looked to his left and his right and dragged me towards a dark building. He pulled out two baseball caps from his pocket and plopped one on his head and another on mine.  
  
"We've gotta remain incognito. Don't want to be caught being truant, do we? Close your eyes," he ordered.  
  
"Mm hmm." I cheerily nodded. I felt his arm around mine pulling me into the building. I could hear strange electronic sounds around me.  
  
"Open them," he whispered.  
  
I opened my eyes and burst out laughing. "An arcade! I would have never thought you would be into this kind of thing. I haven't been in a place like this since I was in elementary school. The big bad yakuza leader playing video games." I giggled. I looked around and noticed how empty the place was except for a few high school dropouts and some junior high school kids pretending to be punks.  
  
He looked at me with a childish puppy dog face. "Hey, don't laugh. I used to spend most of the old days cutting school in arcades. Even Hana, Fujio, and Jin don't know I come to places like this. Come one. You're just scared that I'll kick your butt."  
  
"No you won't!" I pouted.  
  
He pulled me towards the dance dance revolution machine and smiled mischievously. "Wanna play?"  
  
I jumped on the machine and he threw the coins in starting up. The arrows starting flying across the scream as I wildly jumped around trying to keep up with the song. The machine kept hackling me screaming out "Watch out" or "Come on get with it". It was only when the large words "Failed" shot up onto the screen did I stop jumping around. "Argh!"  
  
Haru pushed me aside and inserted another few coins. I watched him eyeing through the selection of songs before stopping at the expert level one.  
  
"Watch a pro!"  
  
The music started and he hit the steps perfectly showing off by turning around to face me not looking at the screen. It was amazing how he had memorized all the moves perfectly. I wondered to myself how many days had he spent like this. I saw the gleeful look spreading over his face as he mastered every move. He was happy and it was a side I could never have imagined he had.  
  
After a few hours of Haru kicking my butt in basically everything in the arcade we decided to go out and see the light of day. When we stepped out of the dark arcade my eyes hurt at the bright shining of light into them. We aimlessly walked through the streets stopping in front of the store windows to just admire the displays.  
  
I was enjoying myself so much I completely lost track of the time.  
  
"Oh my god! It's already 3:30!" I screamed looking down at my watch.  
  
"Why?! What's the matter?" Haru stopped walking and turned around to look at me.  
  
"I've got to go to work!" I let go of his hand and started to run wildly through the street. I only stopped to look to the side when I felt Haru's warm hand grab mine.  
  
"Hurry up if you want to make it in time!" he yelled.  
  
I kept running and running thinking to myself what a bit difference there was with Haru. If it were Doumyouji he would have just yelled at me about how annoying poor people were and telling met o just not show up. Haru understood the real world. People had jobs and had to work to earn a living.  
  
As we made it in front of the dango shop with only a few seconds to spare we came to a halting stop. We were both completely out of breath. I looked through the glass window at a few pairs of wide eyes. Inside stood Yuki behind the counter, but in front of her stood Akira, Soujiro and Rui. I glanced up at Haru suddenly feeling a little self conscious about revealing our new relationship, but it was too late. He bent down and planted a fierce kiss on my lips leaving me standing there in a daze.  
  
"I'll see you later," he smiled before running off waving his hand.  
  
I nonchalantly walked to the back room ignoring all those open mouths and got changed ready to start my shift. When I came back out I stepped behind the counter next to Yuki and began to fold boxes with a huge grin on my face.  
  
Rui turned away and sulkily walked out the door. Akira and Soujiro ran after him leaving only Yuki and I.  
  
"Tsukushi."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Who was that guy you were with?"  
  
"Oh, my boyfriend, Haru," I smiled to myself. It felt right to call him that. My boyfriend.  
  
"You're what?! When and how did that happen?!" Yuki screamed in amazement.  
  
"It's a long story," I laughed walking away leaving Yuki still frozen in shock. "We should get to work. There are customers waiting."  
  
When we were getting ready to close the shop for the night Yuki pried all the details out of me about Haru, except for a few of the major secrets about him. Primarily his past in the yakuza.  
  
"Wow! He sounds like a really nice guy. Although I'm a little worried that you might be moving a little too fast. I mean you just broke up with Doumyouji. But I can see how happy Haru makes you. I guess that is all that matters, right?" Yuki nodded her head and looked dreamily out the window. "I hope you can introduce me to him one day."  
  
"Of course! I think you would like him too." I was glowing. Nothing could take me down from my euphoric high.  
  
------------  
  
I stepped out of the shop waving good bye to Yuki for the night. I looked up in the sky and saw small little flakes begin to fall. I jacket collar up huddling to keep warm. I skipped all the way home thinking about my day with Haru. There was just a stupid smile on my face that wouldn't go away. Isn't this everything I wanted? What was this new relationship we had? Why was I happier now than I ever was with Doumyouji or Rui? Maybe because our date was nothing like any one I ever had with them. It was normal. 


	18. Friends

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Chapter 20: Friends  
  
I merrily skipped down the street feeling oblivious to the world thinking about what a wonderful day today was. The streets were dark only lit up by a few lights creating small spotlights along the sidewalk. I hopped along the sidewalk playing hopscotch along the boxes of the sidewalk feeling like a little girl again. I continued on my way home lost in my own little world humming a happy little song to myself.  
  
"MMPH!" I screamed feeling my mouth being covered by a hand.  
  
"Don't fight it," a horse voice slurred into my ear.  
  
I was forcefully yanked out of my dreamlike world feeling a sense of extreme terror. My assailant threw me against the wall pinning me down. I could feel the weight of my bag dropping form my shoulder onto the ground. I struggled under him, but his hands gripped my arms down to my side. The darkness shadowed his face concealing his identity from me. He leaned in closer allowing the dim streetlight illuminate his face.  
  
"Doumyouji."  
  
"I'm not here to hurt you."  
  
Silence took over. The cold winter air surrounded us sending chills through my skin. Standing there I looked at him closely observing his fine features. His face was completely lost and blank. His entire body was limp. He had mysteriously lost that proud arrogant exterior he carried himself with. I knew he was for once exposing himself to me. The scared, lost boy inside had found his way out.  
  
"You've got to stop this. You're just hurting yourself."  
  
"No." he coldly spit out. "Let me just say this and I promise you I will leave you alone. I'm sorry. I saw you with that Haru. It's been a long time since I saw you smile like that. I think it may have been the first time I've ever seen you smile like that for anyone. I can see he can make you happier than I could ever do. I wish you happiness with him."  
  
His eyes revealed the pain tearing him apart inside. It wasn't easy for the great Doumyouji Tsukasa to admit defeat, but here he was surrendering his love. The words echoed through the empty streets. I was taken aback by those simple words. It was the last thing I ever expected him to say. The words were alien coming from him, but I could hear the sincerity in them.  
  
"I'll never bother you again." Doumyouji turned around. He lowered his head and dug his hands in to his pockets. I watched his back move farther and farther away. He walked away a broken man with an aura of defeat surrounding him, as if he had lost everything.  
  
"Thank you," I barely managed to get the words out holding back the tears. "Doumyouji.,,"  
  
He stopped and raised his head for a moment.  
  
"I don't want you to stay away. Can't we at least be friends?"  
  
He turned around and looked at me. He let out a weak smile and nodded his head. What else could he have done. Perhaps it was less painful losing my love than to lose me all together. Without another word he walked away down the dim street disappearing into the shadows once more.  
  
I picked up bag and trudged towards my apartment still shaking a little. It was a bitter reality to have to face. Choosing Haru would always be a reminder to me of the people I had to hurt to be where I was right now. I wasn't even sure if Haru and I were really meant to be together, but that was the road I had chosen to walk down.  
  
"I'm home!" I yelled walking through the front door.  
  
"Hey oneesan!" Susumu poked his head out from the kitchen. A long stream of instant ramen was being sucked up from the cup to his lips with a loud slurping sound. He sucked a little too hard and too fast he choked a little. "Aahhhh that hits the spot. How was the trip?"  
  
I sat down on in the living room floor touching the spot where Haru had laid with me the night before. I fell backwards stretching my body out turning my head to the side staring at the spot where I once watched his peaceful sleeping face. "It was good. By the way, thank you."  
  
Susumu's face blushed and he turned away to look away from me in embarrassment. "Aawww. don't make me feel all embarrassed. Were you ok last night when the power went out. I heard pretty much all of Tokyo was blacked out for the entire night."  
  
Memories flashed through my mind. The image of our bodies illuminated by the flicker of the candlelight. I memorized the way his lips curled in his sleep. The lax look in his face. The way his hair fell over his forehead. The gentle rise and fall of his chest.  
  
"Are you still there?" Susumu asked waving a hand in front of my face with a faraway expression.  
  
"Huh? Oh.." My face suddenly turned red.  
  
"Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask you. Whose are these?" He picked up a man's shirt and put it up against his shirt. "I found this hanging up. It looks brand name so it definitely isn't mine, so whose is it?"  
  
I scrambled up and scanned my brain for a good excuse to explain to my brother why there was a man's shirt in the apartment that definitely wasn't his. He liked Haru no more than he liked Doumyouji. I couldn't lie to him forever. Sooner or later he would find out.  
  
"It's Haru's," I sheepishly admitted.  
  
"WHAT?! He..he.he was here! What were you thinking?!"  
  
"Well it was raining last night and he couldn't go home. I couldn't just let him sleep in the street. I was the one who invited him over."  
  
"Did he try anything. If he did I'll kill him!" Susumu's overprotective nature took over. He paced the room frantically wondering if that man had taken advantage of his poor innocent sister.  
  
I grabbed his arm to stop his dizzying pacing. "Nothing happened, but I think you should find out this from me rather than someone else. Haru and I are kinda together."  
  
"Huh? When did all this happen. You just came back yesterday."  
  
"It's along story, and I don't think you would want to hear all the details. He makes me happy and that's all that matters. I hope you can learn to like him too."  
  
His eyes softened at my pleas. I gave him that pitiful look that always made him stop being angry at me. I knew I had gotten through to him.  
  
"Fine. Fine. Fine." He patted my head. "But if he ever hurts you I'll take care of him." He cracked his knuckles. He was absorbed with sadistic thoughts of getting his vengeance on the one who had hurt his weed sister.  
  
"What makes you think I can't take care of myself?" I placed my hands on my hips and stood challengingly up to him. I poked my finger into his chest.  
  
He backed away a little and started to laugh. "Ok. Ok. Geez, Sometimes I wonder if you're really a guy stuck in a girl's body!"  
  
I smacked him upside on the back of his head.  
  
"Oowww!" He grabbed his head in pain. "I think Haru should know what a violent person you are!"  
  
"Baka!"  
  
"Oh by the way. Since you're going out with Haru. How about you put in a good word for me with Hana?"  
  
"I knew there was some ulterior motive for you being ok with all this!"  
  
'Well, it's not my fault if his sister is really hot!" Susumu scurried off into his room before I could slap him again for being such an idiot.  
  
"Pervert!"  
  
********  
  
The next morning I showed up at school early hoping to find Haru, but there was someone else I had in mind of seeing. I knew sooner or later I would have to explain to him. I at least owed him an explanation. I walked up to the door and put my hand against it taking in a deep breath hoping and dreading at the same time he would be there. I pushed the door open slowly letting the bright rays of light hit my face blinding my sight.  
  
"Tsukushi."  
  
"Ohayo, Rui" I cheerily said.  
  
He turned back towards the blank space he was previously staring at. His eyes were dead to me. It hurt a little that he would close himself to me. That all too familiar mask he once wore for strangers was shrouded his face. Was he really lost to me?  
  
"So you're with him now," he coldly let the words drip from his lips letting each dagger hit my heart. Not once did he look at me, but kept his gaze fixed firmly on the view in front of him.  
  
I completely lost the courage to face him. Every part of my body was screaming at me to run away, but I forced myself to stay. I couldn't lose him. I was a little surprised by his cool attitude towards me since even Doumyouji could find the courage to be a bigger man.  
  
"Please don't hate me?" I whispered with a trembling voice.  
  
His eyes softened to my cracking voice. His mask shattered. "No. I'm not angry. I guess I was just a little jealous is all."  
  
He stood up and grabbed me into an embrace surprising me. "I guess I lost again," he laughed. He buried his face into my hair. He pulled back and looked into my eyes with that dreamy look he knew could make me melt. "But why him? What does he have that I don't?"  
  
I let out a deep sigh trying to choose the precise words to say what it was. "Being with him is just..normal."  
  
"Silly girl," he laughed. "He bent down lower and out of nowhere laid a gentle kiss on my forehead. "You were never meant for anything normal."  
  
From behind us, a loud moaning creak invaded our whispers. A figure appeared in the doorway watching our intimate exchange. Her hair hung low down her back accentuating the curviness of her womanly body. She was just as beautiful as I remembered her.  
  
"Rui."  
  
"Shizuka!" Rui exclaimed in surprise. He released me from his grip and stood frozen in shock.  
  
"I need you, Rui.  
  
I quietly crept away from Rui sensing the awkwardness in the air. I walked towards Shizuka, the woman who I had long admired. "It's nice to see you Shizuka."  
  
"Tsukshi, it's been awhile since I last saw you. You've grown up quite a bit."  
  
"Yes. I think we all have since you were last here. I'll leave you two alone." I quickly ran past Shizuka who had her eyes dead set on Rui. "I'll talk to you later Rui."  
  
I could feel the slightest touch of his fingers trying to grasp onto my sleeve, but I freed myself quickly enough before he could stop me. I saw the look of disappointment in his eyes when he finally snapped out of the shock of seeing Shizuka in the flesh before him. As I ran down the stairs I couldn't help, but felt hat little twinge of jealousy gnawing away at me. Who was I to be possessive over Rui? Shouldn't I be happy for him that Shuizuka had come back for him. He had told me it was over between him and Shizuka, but was he only using me as a means to find some peace. I couldn't help, but feel a little bit angry at the thought of being used by him. Had I been only a distraction? I should be happy for him. The woman he has always loved wants him back. I am happy for him.  
  
I kept walking muttering to myself that it was all for the better. It really was. I didn't even realize that I had walked right past four people who were staring at me.  
  
"Tuskushi," a familiar voice said.  
  
"Haru." My face lit up. It was comforting to see that face. There was only love and understanding that existed in him.  
  
"What's wrong? You look a little flustered."  
  
I touched my face feeling a little guilty over my bout resentment towards Rui and Shizuka. "Oh I was just excited over seeing an old friend. She just came back from France." I looked up and saw more pairs of eyes looking suspiciously at me. Ohayo, Hana. Fujio. Jin."  
  
"Ohayo!" they politely greeted me.  
  
"So, Haru told us the good news about you two. I always thought you would be mine," Jin sighed. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders pressing his face closer to mine.  
  
"Hey! Stop groping her already!" Hana yelled yanking him by the collar.  
  
She thrust Jin aside with the slightest flick of her wrist. I watched this little innocent girl standing in front of me with a hand reached out, "I know the first time we met it wasn't on the best terms, but I hope we can be friends?"  
  
I was shocked at her sudden change in attitude. It was so different from that first meeting we had where she warned me to stay away. I couldn't help, but feel a little uneasy by her sudden change in opinion of a relationship between her brother and me. I looked into her wide glowing eyes, so full of life. She had to be honest and sincere to extend an olive branch. I put my hand in hers. "Friends." 


	19. Family Business

Disclaimer: Please don't pick on the poor college student who owns absolutely positively nothing.  
  
Chapter 21: Family business  
  
I walked besides Haru with his hand firmly clasped over mine. I could sense the angry glares on me. The school was abuzz with the proof that Haru and I were now an item. Perhaps it was relief they felt that now Doumyouji was free from my grasps and he was a free for all. On the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised they were all shocked and bewildered why Haru would have chosen to be with me of all people. I had managed to somehow capture the mysterious bachelor of the school. No girl had even managed to get him to acknowledge their existence in school unless it was his sister.  
  
"Tsukushi!" Shigeru yelled from across the room. Her mouth dropped to the floor and she looked towards Doumyouji who did not look up in utter confusion. Akira and Soujiro shifted uneasily in their seats waiting for the show to begin.  
  
I pulled Haru towards their table. I had to be at least civil and polite. Shizuka, who was locked in a private conversation with Rui, looked up and smiled. I stared down at Rui feeling that urge of anger rise within me once again. He had once again taken his familiar place beside her. I looked away and directed my attention back towards the others at the table.  
  
"Yo Tsukushi," Doumyouji shyly said.  
  
"Hello." I came up with the first thing that came into my mind and blurted it out, "I guess you're all surprised that Shizuka is back."  
  
Rui bowed his head down low in shame avoiding me.  
  
"Ummm.Of course we are!" Akira cheerily yelled gripping onto his drink. He seemed to be acting a little more happy than usual trying to cover up the awkwardness.  
  
"We were just talking about having a little celebration party for Shizuka's return. We're meeting at Club X at 7.Why don't you come along?" Soujiro asked without thinking.  
  
I could see Akira kick him from beneath the table at the sound of his faux pas. I weakly smiled not wanting to make the situation any worse.  
  
"I was hoping to catch up with all the news about you. So much has seemed to change since I got back. Even my Rui," Shizuka laughed. She eyed Haru who stood next to me in silence.  
  
I was trapped. I couldn't say no to her like I wish I could have. I was weak when it came to Shizuka's coaxing. "Sure, I'll be there," I choked out.  
  
I refrained from losing control wanting to kill Soujiro. "Oh, I'm forgetting my manners. Shizuka, this is my boyfriend Tse Hatsuhara. Haru this is Todou Shizuka."  
  
Haru bowed politely towards the elegant lady. "Nice to meet you. Please just call me Haru."  
  
Shizuka looked towards Doumyouji with pity being left out of the loop about our break up. "Nice to meet you, Haru."  
  
"Your boyfriend?! What about." Shigeru stopped in mid sentence at the realization of what was going on. Her head kept turning from Doumyouji to me trying to comprehend what had happened and why she had been left in the dark about it all.  
  
Soujiro wanting to make up for his last mistake grabbed Shigeru from behind cupping her mouth before she said anything else. Akira was patting Doumyouji's shoulder trying to calm him down before he exploded. I could see that vein in his forehead exploding holding back the urge to start going on a rampage. It was bad enough to have Shigeru put salt on that wound. He shrugged off Akira's comforting hand and walked off sulkily.  
  
"Shigeru! Akira and I would like to talk to you over there." Soujiro and Akira picked her up from her seat and dragged her off. It took two playboys to drag her off, but they managed to overpower her. "We'll see you guys later."  
  
Now it was just Rui and Shizuka sitting there. She placed her hand over Rui's allowing tehri fingers to entwine. Strangely I began to feel uneasy by this.  
  
"Ummm. I'm sorry, but we have the others waiting for us," Haru spoke up. "It was very nice to meet you Todousan." He gripped my hand a little tighter in reassurance. He pulled me away from the table forcing my legs to regain their function.  
  
"Thank you," I whispered to Haru feeling extremely grateful for him to be by my side when I needed him the most.  
  
"What else is a boyfriend for?" he laughed. He kissed me on the top of my head and led me towards the table where Jin, Fujio and Hana sat.  
  
Jin was toying around with his phone half listening to the person on the other line, which was probably just another one of his conquests. Hana was deeply engrossed in conversation with Fujio capturing his complete attention.  
  
As soon as we sat down Jin curtly cut off the conversation on the other line with a push of the button. "Well I see the two lovebirds are here?"  
  
I blushed at his comment. Although I had been in a relationship with Doumyouji for so long and Haru and I had seen more of each other than most new couples do, I still couldn't help but feel shy about being in a relationship with someone.  
  
"Kushi!" Kazuya called out from across the room. He looked at me in bewilderment wondering why I wasn't sitting with F4. He had no clue what was going on. Timidly he approached our table. "I just got back from taking care of my father's business. Why aren't you sitting with F4 like usual?"  
  
"That's because she's sitting with her boyfriend," Jin snidely commented. His lax face transformed completely. It was now cool and composed daringly staring right through the boy in front of him. "Who are you anyway?"  
  
Kazuya cowered away frightened by the very threatening looking Jin.  
  
"This is my old friend, Kazuya. Kazuya this is my boyfriend Haru. This is Hana, Fujio and Jin." I pointed out.  
  
"You can sit with us if you want?" Fujio kindly invited Kazuya. I glanced up at Fujio gratefully. He pointed at the seat besides him and Kazuya sat himself down in awe of this new group of people.  
  
"You must be the new students that everyone was talking about," Kazuya bluntly blurted out. "Wow! You are way cooler and nicer than F4 is!" His eyes glazed over being awestruck to sit at the table of the mysterious new group of students at Eitoku.  
  
"Hey oneesan!" Susumu plopped himself down in the empty seat between Hana and me. "I thought I might sit with you today."  
  
"Susumu? Wouldn't you rather be sitting with your friends?" I questioningly looked at him.  
  
"Naw. The views much better here." He turned towards Hana who briefly looked up and smiled at him before diverting her attention to start a conversation with Jin. "Hello Hana," Susumu flashed one of his infamous charming smiles, but to no avail did she lose her concentration on the conversation she was having with Jin.  
  
I watched Kazuya talking Fujio's ear off while he politely nodded and answered every asinine question he asked. It was slightly amusing watching my brother making futile attempts to get Hana's attention. My smooth brother couldn't manage to get her attention. In frustration and defeat he leaned back in his chair and decided to join the conversation between Fujio and Kazuya.  
  
Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
Haru pulled his cellphone from his pocket and glancing at the screen. He let out a heavy sigh and tucked it away. "I've got to go," he whispered to me as I happily munched on my food. I heard that tone of seriousness and urgency in his voice knowing that it could not be good whoever it was that called.  
  
"We have to go. There's a car waiting for us outside." he commanded Fujio and Jin.  
  
They looked up at the sudden change in Haru's attitude. They nodded their heads in complete understanding of the situation. Hana skeptically looked up at Haru's orders.  
  
"He wants only us," he flatly stated looking at Hana.  
  
She slumped down in her seat looking very disturbed by this. Angrily she shoved the chair away from the table with a loud scratching sound of the chair being dragged against the ground. In cold silence, she stalked off without a word.  
  
"We'll go first."  
  
Jin and Fujio gravely walked away whispering to the other.  
  
Haru turned towards me. Worry was all over my face. Something bad was coming and I could feel it. His face changed back to the old, familiar face I had become so used to seeing.  
  
"Can you come with me for a second?"  
  
I got up from my seat and followed him outside. The sky was dark for early in the afternoon. Small delicate snowflakes began to fall from above hitting my eyelashes. We stopped near the front gates before Haru grabbed me to the side shielding me from the view of something.  
  
"My father wants to see me. I need to take care of some family business. He must still be angry about that argument we had."  
  
"I don't like the sound of that. Remember what he tried to do you last time."  
  
"Don't worry. Nothing will happen to me. Fujio and Jin will be there. I'll pick you up at 6 to go to the club. Promise." He smiled. It was that smile he had only for me. For some reason I found reassurance in his gesture that he would come back to me in one piece.  
  
"Haru."  
  
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me hard easing all the worries away. He buried his face into my hair before pulling away abruptly. "Ja ne!" he yelled over his shoulder as he made a full sprint out towards the gates.  
  
I ran forward trying to grab onto him before he left, but he was already long gone. I stood shivering in the cold trying to remember the comfort of his arms. I shrugged off the worries, but before turning back I glanced back for a moment and watched Haru disappear into a waiting black Mercedes. As the car sped off past the gates I noticed the window was opened. Besides Haru sat a stern, older looking male. The expression on his face sent shivers down my spine. It had to be him. There was that familiar cold, icy look in his eyes. It was his father. The man turned to look out the window and his gaze met mine for a brief moment before turning back towards Haru. It is a look I will never forget.  
  
******************  
  
I ran home after work to get ready for the party later that night. It was already 6:00 and I frantically scrambled to find something to wear. I knew I was just obsessing over every article of clothing while taking every few seconds to glance at the clock hoping to hear Haru at the door. I finally just chose a short tan skirt and soft white sweater. I paced around the room waiting for him.  
  
6:15  
  
6:30  
  
6:45  
  
By that time I was going insane wondering where he was. I was cursing him under my breath for lying to me.  
  
Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
I grabbed my cellphone and looked down at the screen praying that it was Haru just calling to tell me he was going to be late. I was sadly disappointed when all I saw was a text message.  
  
"Tsukushi, Going to be late. I'll meet you at the club later. -Haru"  
  
I reassured myself that nothing was wrong and tucked the phone back into my purse. It was now 7:00 and the others were probably waiting for me to arrive. Halfheartedly I walked out the door to the club wondering what could have kept him.  
  
***************  
  
In a bad mood, I walked through the doors of the club looking around for F4, Shizuka and Shigeru.  
  
"Tsukushi! Over here!" Yuki yelled from across the room straining her voice to be heard over the loud music.  
  
I looked at their table feeling a little relieved that Yuki was there. Akira was already at the bar surrounded by the growing numbers of women flocking to him. Out on the dance floor Shigeru wildly danced with some random guy. Soujiro had his arm wrapped around Yuki whispering into her ear. Shizuka was saying something to Rui, but he seemed to not be listening to a word she said. He looked up at me with a glint excitement in his eyes. I kept my face dead to him and could see the disappointment in him. Doumyouji just sat there nursing his beer admiring the scenery around him. I walked over and decided to sit farthest out of the table so if I needed I could make a fast get away. This meant that I was stuck sitting next to Doumyouji, which I guess good enough since it was relatively far away from Rui.  
  
"Where's your boyfriend?" Shizuka innocently asked striking a chord within me.  
  
I put on a fake smile. "He said he'll be a little late."  
  
"What kind of man let's his girlfriend go out to a club alone," Doumyouji muttered under his breath.  
  
I slumped back in my seat wondering the same question myself. The smile on my face faded away. Doumyouji looked towards me and saw the effect of his words.  
  
"Sorry," he whispered to me.  
  
"No. It's not your fault," I whispered back with a faint smile.  
  
"Well I hope he comes. I was hoping to meet Haru tonight. He'll come," Yuki said from across the table trying to comfort me.  
  
I sat there watching everyone else enjoy themselves repeatedly glancing down at my watch waiting for Haru to appear through those doors, but it was never him. Finally, I resigned to the fact he would not come. Only Doumyouji sat beside me in silence. From beneath the table he reached over and grabbed my hand, He gave it a little squeeze trying to make me feel better at being stood up.  
  
Suddenly from behind me I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I quickly released his hand. I spun around thinking Haru would be standing behind me with a smile on his face telling me that everything was fine.  
  
"Hana?"  
  
"Hello Tsukushi. Haru called me telling me to pass on the message that he couldn't make it. So, he sent me in his place to keep you company. I thought we might get to know each other better."  
  
"Is everything okay?" I asked.  
  
In a nonchalant way she replied, "Oh it's just family business."  
  
Hana took one of the seats besides me pushing enclosing me into the table's inner circle. I cautiously eyed her wondering if she was the least worried about her brother's whereabouts. She always seemed to have some invisible guard up deflecting any outsiders from encroaching upon her private world.  
  
"Hello," she politely greeted everyone at the table. "Nice to meet you. My name is Tse Hana. I'm Haru's little sister.  
  
"Hello," everyone else replied nodding their heads.  
  
I snapped out of my thoughts forcing myself to return from my dreamlike state. Everyone introduced themselves to Hana and they all seemed to like her. It was hard not to notice all the added attention she brought to our table. She was decked out in a short, tight black mini skirt and fiery red camisole covered by a transparent black sweater. Her eyelids were smeared a smoky grey and her lips a ruby red to match the red streaks running down her hair. Her hair was let down completely loose reaching down to her waist like a flowing river. She had that similar confidence to Haru, but she oozed feminine mystique drawing the gazes of many of the men towards her. You could tell she held the power.  
  
"I don't think we've met before?" Akira smiled as he approached our table with his eyes dead set on Hana.  
  
"You must be infamous Mimasaka Akira?" she coyly replied playing into his little game of cat and mouse. She innocently batted her eyelashes. It was a little unclear who was the cat and who was the mouse, though.  
  
"I don't think it's very fair that I don't know you're name yet."  
  
"I'm Hana."  
  
"Hey Akira don't try anything with her!" I threateningly glared at him. "She's Haru's sister."  
  
Akira just glanced at me for a second before turning his attention back towards Hana. "I was just going to ask her for a dance?" Akira innocently whined putting out his hand to take hers. He shot me a wink, which showed me no indication of whether or not he was serious about remaining a gentleman.  
  
Hana took his hand and before I could say anything they were already out on the dance floor disappearing amongst the crowds of people swaying back and forth.  
  
"Looks like Akira has found a new playmate!" Soujiro laughed.  
  
Something inside of me told me not to worry. I smiled a little to myself knowing I was probably one of the only people in this world that knew what Hana was capable. She could snap that playboy in half like a twig. "Oh, something tells me that Hana can take care of herself."  
  
"Whew! I'm tired from all that dancing!" Shigeru took the empty seat beside me once occupied by Hana. She looked around the table and noticed the tension in the air. She leaned in closer to me and whispered, "Akira and Soujiro filled me in on what was happening? I thought we were friends? You know you can tell me anything. I'm sorry about opening my big mouth before"  
  
I turned to Shigeru feeling a sudden loss of words. "Sorry," I whispered back. "It's not you're fault."  
  
"Well since it's party let's all have a drink!" Akira yelled pulling out a bottle of champagne. Hana's hands were full of glasses while Akira furiously shook the bottle to flick the cork off with a loud POP! "Let's party!"  
  
Hana passed the glasses around. I reached out to grab one of the bubbling glasses feeling the urge to dull my disappointment away.  
  
"Cheers!"  
  
I gulped the sour liquid feeling it tingle down my throat. I noticed everyone look around in surprise seeing how I gulped the entire glass down in one swig. I slapped the glass to the table and started to feel the buzz. I knew I couldn't handle any liquor, but hey what better way to ease the pain.  
  
"So Shizuka how long will you be staying in Japan?" I blurted out losing any sense of feeling in my brain.  
  
"Just as long as it takes to get Rui to come back to me," Shizuka seductively whispered into Rui's ear. He made no attempt to push away her advances, but just accepted them.  
  
I couldn't help, but feel a little perturbed by what she said. I glared at Rui thinking how dare he play me for a fool all this time. It didn't seem like Shizuka had fallen out of love with him one bit. Who the hell did he think he was to play me for a fool?!  
  
Hana nudged me to sit upright after slumping a little over onto her.  
  
I poured another glass of champagne and throwing it back into my mouth feeling the foam rise up in my mouth. By this time I was starting to get the hang of swallowing the champagne and it lost all of its unattractive taste. I stared at Rui and Shizuka feeling completely disgusted by the sight of them together. I didn't care. I had a boyfriend who loved me, It's just he couldn't be here right now. I grabbed Doumyouji's hand and pulled him out onto the dance floor. "I feel like dancing?" I stumbled my way onto the dance floor swaying along with the music and bobbing my head around to a rhythm that wasn't there. The waitresses passed us by holding trays of exotic liquids and I wanted to try them all. I grabbed two glasses and poured them down my throat tasting the sweet fruit juices mixed laced with vodka or rum. I started dancing wildly to the music feeling my entire body begin to overheat. My entire face was turning red and the room was beginning to spin. I tugged on my sweater pulling it over my head revealing the thin camisole I had on underneath. I madly giggled throwing the sweater into the crowd as they cheered.  
  
"Tsukushi! What are you doing?!" he grabbed the jacket off some random guy on the dance floor and draped it over me covering my exposed body. "Please don't do this to yourself?" he whispered into my ear. He pulled me into him.  
  
My mind couldn't process what was going on. His warm soft lips pressed firmly against mine. At that moment I didn't care if I was kissing Doumyouji. I just wanted him to take away all the confusion I was feeling. I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by desire for him feeling that old lust for him resurrect itself in me. But then an image of Haru came into my mind and I was immersed back into reality. I slapped him with all my might feeling the surge of pain through my hand upon contact with his face. "You have no right to do that?!" I pushed him away from me. "I'm having fun! Isn't that what we do when we have a party?!" I slurred. I wrestled my way through the crowd letting the jacket slip off my shoulders. "I don't need you to tell me what I can and can not do! I'm not your girlfriend anymore!"  
  
He reached for my arm, and I struggled to push him away. I managed to escape from him through the crowd finding myself grabbing drinks left and right out of the hands of flirting men swigging it down as if it was water. That was all it was to me now, water. Somehow I managed to stumble my way back to the table where a silent Doumyouji and Rui sat solemnly. Everyone else was pretty much hammered at this point and we were all madly laughing our heads off at jokes that made no sense. I watched Shizuka as she lethargically rested her head against Rui's shoulder. Shigeru was all over Doumyouji draping herself all over him trying her best to make advances upon him. Soujiro was coaxing Yuki into just having one more drink. Akira and Hana seemed to be going at it playing a drinking game.  
  
I reached forward to grab a glass of whatever it was on the table feeling a sudden undeniable thirst, but two hands pushed the glass away from me.  
  
"I think you've had enough," Rui and Doumyouji both said in unison.  
  
I glared at them feeling extremely spiteful that they would deny me a drink. I could handle myself. " Fine. I'm going to the bathroom then." I stood up and gripped the table to balance myself. I saw the look of concern spread over there faces wondering if I would pass out on the way there.  
  
"Tsukushi?" a voice called from beside me. "I'll go with you" Hana volunteered. She grabbed my arm and put it over her shoulder to help me get up and reach the ladies room.  
  
At this point I could barely maintain my balance. I tried to fight to get up, but I lost all the feeling in my legs. Everything was just so blurry. I thrust myself into the ladies room feeling crawling to the porcelain bowl. I never thought so much could come out of a person, but to my surprise I threw up like nobody's business. I felt like I was going to die. When I finally finished retching I looked up at Hana who kindly held back my hair for me. I sat back against he wall feeling all the energy drained out of me while Hana walked away for a few moments. She pulled me from the ground and led me to one of the private rooms laying me down on the couch that reeked of cigarette smoke and booze. Gently she placed a cool towel on my head soothing my pounding head.  
  
"Feel any better?" she asked in a low voice.  
  
I cringed feeling like her voice was a thousand times louder than it really was. "Thank you."  
  
"This has nothing to do with Haru not showing up does it? It's those two, isn't it?" she asked.  
  
Oh god, I thought to myself. She had seen everything. My reaction to Rui and Shizuka together. Doumyouji kissing me on the dance floor. "Yes," I weakly replied. "Don't misunderstand. I love Haru, but Doumyouji, Rui and I have a long history. I can't just forget about all that" breaking down uncontrollably into sobs.  
  
"Shh.it's ok. I know you love my brother and I trust you will make him happy," she whispered stroking away the loose strands of hair that fell over my hands. "I won't say anything to him."  
  
I looked up at her angelic face so full of the same features I had noticed in Haru. She had the same compassion in her eyes he always gave me. "Thank you."  
  
"Let's just promise to not talk about this night ever again," she laughed.  
  
As I felt the drunkenness taking over once again I fell asleep in her arms cradling my limp body.  
  
*********  
  
I awoke the next morning with a earth shattering pounding sensation in my head. The rays of the sunlight were slowly crawling against the floor reaching closer and closer to my face. I opened my eyes wide to see where I was in a panic. The last thing I remembered was being in the club last night with Hana. I looked down realizing I was still wearing the same clothes from the night before. I scanned the room and sighed in relief realizing I had somehow made it home. I crawled back into my sheets thinking to myself that I needed to skip school today. I laughed to myself a little thinking of how everyone else was probably waking up right now regretting their actions last night with the constant reminder of a hang over.  
  
"Oneesan." Susumu whispered from the doorway.  
  
"Not so loud!" I moaned in pain.  
  
He knelt down beside me and pulled the covers off my face t take a good look at the wreck from the night before. "You look like shit!" he laughed.  
  
"Thanks," I muttered in annoyance at his early morning cheerfulness. "Remind me to kill you for that comment the moment the room stops spinning. How did I get home last night?"  
  
"I think you stumbled in around 4 last night. Hana dropped you off in her car and woke me up to take care of you before running off. She looked like she was in a hurry to get somewhere."  
  
I closed my eyes that lump that was rising in my throat. Thank god Hana took me home and not Doumyouji or Rui. I vaguely remembered half of what happened the night before, but it was better to have Hana listen to my drunken mutterings than either of those two. God knows what I said the night before.  
  
"Well I've got to get to school, now. You stay here and get some rest. I don't think you should go out in public looking like that. I'll see you when I get home."  
  
Susumu tucked me back into my sheets and quietly tiptoed out of the room attempting to not make a sound, but I could hear every little creak in the floorboard sending railing pains through my skull. I closed my eyes and let myself escape this unbearable pain to a better place in dream land.  
  
I woke up a few hours later feeling a little bit better. I rolled over onto my side to stretch out my body and found the shock of my life.  
  
"Haru! How did you get in here?" I gasped.  
  
He sat against the wall in a black suit with is head tucked between his knees. For some odd reason he looked just about how I felt. Tired. Depressed. Confused. He looked up and pointed to the window, which was now open.  
  
"I snuck in through the window. From the looks of you, last night must have been pretty rough."  
  
I felt a surge of guilt run over me remembering the jealousy and anger I had let take over me last night. "Yeah I guess I drank just a little too much," I laughed.  
  
He crawled across the floor and laid himself down beside me in the futon. "I wish I could spend every day with you like this,' he mumbled.  
  
I was taken aback by his words wondering why he would suddenly say something like that to me. I reached my hand to his face and gently pushed the hair out of his eyes. "Where were you last night?"  
  
"Sorry. It took a little longer than I expected to deal with my father. He's a stubborn man, but I think we've come to an agreement. I got caught up doing some errands for him."  
  
"Oh," I stopped myself from asking any further questions sensing that it was something I should not ask about for fear of finding out the truth. Sometimes it was just better to be left in the dark. Ignorance is bliss, right?  
  
Haru let out a tired, heavy sigh. I looked at is wrinkled black suit. He was adorned in complete black. He didn't bother to take off the long trench coat either. His face was worn and revealed the lack of sleep he had gotten the night before. Dark circles formed under his eyes. As he lay there peacefully with his eyes looking into mine I felt myself becoming utterly lost in his gaze wondering if in his past had it always been like this, disappearing into the dark underground only to reemerge sometime in the day to face the reality of it all from doing god knows what. "Tuskushi?"  
  
"Hmmm."  
  
"If you were to find out some of the things I've done would you hate me?"  
  
I was surprised once again by his question, but I knew the answer. "You were a different person back then. We all have our secrets. I've done things I regret, but I love you for who you are now. I see you for who you really are: kind, compassionate, gentle."  
  
He leaned over and kissed me in mid sentence silencing my words. I melted into his lips feeling every part of my body ache for him. He rolled over on top of me and kissed my neck down to my shoulders feeling my body quiver underneath his. He would have gone lower, but I stopped him before we went any further. Our faces were flushed and we panted heavily trying to calm our desires.  
  
I couldn't help, but feel guilty for letting my heart betray him. He deserved nothing, but my complete devotion. He needed someone to love him completely. In reality, Haru could only have a piece of it. In the many secret chambers within I knew there would always be that special place I held dear for Rui and Doumyouji. It wasn't fair to him and I knew it.  
  
"Haru.I think I should confess something to you. Last night I let Doumyouji kiss me. The worse part is the reason I got drunk was because I was jealous that Shizuka came back for Rui. I'm a horrible person for doing those thing when I know I have you." I started to feel some more pitiful tears stream down my face.  
  
"Shhh.forget about it. I know you would never do anything to hurt me." He kissed me on the forehead and wiped away the tears that ran down my face.  
  
"Since we are both confessing our sins today I want to ask you something, but first I have to tell you the truth. Remember the last time I told you about the argument I had with my father about a final job he wanted me to do for the family?"  
  
I nodded my head preparing myself for what was to come next.  
  
"Even though I refused, he made me an offer that could change everything. He promised that if I did this one last mission I can be free free. No questions asked. I can disappear and our ties severed. The contracts he has on Fuio, Jin, and Hana will be annulled. We can all have a chance to escape all of this. I couldn't refuse him. After this last job I'll be leaving this place forever. The catch is the mission itself. It's going to take place in a few weeks. He showed me what it is and it's not a simple one. I'm scared that I might not come out of this alive. That's why I need you to do something for me Tsukushi. I know that if I have someone to come back for I will. I'm asking you to leave this place with me after it's all over. Come with me?"  
  
I stopped to think about what Haru was asking me. Leave all this behind? Forget about school and just run away? Was that what I had been looking for all along. Some source of salvation. Haru was giving me a chance to escape this world controlled by F4. My parents could depend on Susumu of taking care of them now. Hadn't I taken on the responsibility of this family long enough. Mama and Papa were doing fine in the fishing village. Susumu's could continue studying in Eitoku on scholarship with his intelligence. They would only have one less person to feed, clothe and pay for schooling. It would all work out in the end if I disappeared. I knew my decision.  
  
"Yes. I'll go with you." I mumbled.  
  
Haru's face lit up and he kissed me once again easing my fears. "I'll tell you when we will leave then."  
  
I laid back on my pillow wondering to myself if this was really the right thing to do. I knew we were being completely selfish. And yes I did wonder what his mission could be that he might come back alive. As we lay in bed together both wondering what will happen in the next few weeks, I realized why fate had brought Haru and I together. We were each other's salvation from the chaos that ruled our lives. Together we found repentance. 


	20. Ups and Downs

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Chapter 20: Ups and Downs  
  
Sometimes I wonder why time goes so fast. For most of us we spend our youth wishing for events to pass us by as soon as possible getting our daily routines and tasks done, but in the end it is all quite fleeting. Before we know it hours turn to days, days to weeks, and weeks to years. I wonder if I had a second chance to go through it again would I do things the same way? Could I have avoided it all? Time is cruel in that way that it eternally continues playing forward and never in any other direction. I now wish that I had taken the time to stop and enjoy it all while it lasted.  
  
*******  
  
I woke up to a freezing room shivering in the darkness. It was already 7 in the morning and it was time to wake up for school once again. Outside of the window the wind blew fiercely sending the branches of the trees scraping against the glass with a screeching noise. As I let out a deep breath I could see the small, faint puff of air come forth from my mouth. I pulled up the covers close to me rubbing my hands to keep warm wondering, would today be the day?  
  
I pulled on my uniform as quickly as possible to avoid the tingling of the cold against my bare skin. Standing in front of the mirror I noticed the reflection of something in the closet. Looking down I stared at the bag I had already packed and the little package with two envelopes lying on top of it. It was my emergency escape. I had organized everything perfectly. When it was time to go I would just grab my bag and leave the letters behind for Susumu to take care of. In one envelope, I had left to one letter to Susumu and another to my parents. I knew Susumu would probably be the one to understand me the most in making my decision, but my parents would be another story. It was bittersweet that in the end their dutiful daughter they pushed to marry a rich boy would run away with someone from a not so legitimate background to find happiness. I couldn't help but laugh that after all their hard work pushing me into Eitoku to meet the right people had completely backfired. Would Mama and Papa ever forgive such a disobedient daughter?  
  
For Yuki and the others, there were separate notes in the second envelope, which I had left instructions for Susumu to distribute personally. There were small private messages for Yuki, Kazuya, Soujiro, Akira, Shigeru, and Shizuka. The letters for Rui and Doumyouji were the most painstakingly difficult to write, but after forcing myself for a week to get it done I had finally completed them the night before. At first, I thought of leaving nothing for them for the memories we had were enough of a farewell gift I could give them. In the end, I wrote similar notes saying goodbye wishing them happiness in their futures finding love with someone who would love them back just as much. There was no mention of our past, but only encouraging words for a future without me hoping that they could grant my wish of erasing me from their minds. Perhaps it would be all the easier for me to know they wouldn't be worrying about me. Or maybe it was only through empty words I could lie to myself that I could let them go, knowing I never would.  
  
I took one last look at the bag on the closet floor and walked over to shut the door to it. As I walked through the living room I could still hear Susumu's light snores coming from his room. Each time I saw him I couldn't help, but feel the twinge of guilt at abandoning him. It was the little things like this I would miss the most, the comfort and familiarity of my old life.  
  
******  
  
I walked through the desolate pathways of Eitoku feeling an intense loneliness and abandonment. Even wrapped up in a thick coat and scarf I was still cold inside. I can't say that I don't have my doubts about it all, but I can't go back on my decision for anything. Haru stopped attending class on a regular basis. For now, he was obsessed with completing his mission. How many times had I awaken to the sound of him stumbling through my window at odd hours of the night to talk for a few moments and maybe catch a few hours of sleep before going back to work. Most of the time when he showed up, if he did at all, he would only want to talk about me. We basically avoided the topic of the mission. Usually we preferred to focus on what lie ahead spending hours planning our future together thinking of places we would see and the things we would do.  
  
Ever since that night things have been pretty difficult. It was difficult to face F4, especially Doumyouji or Rui. I had already hurt Doumyouji enough as it is. I had apologized about what had happened, but I couldn't shake that look that disappeared off his face the moment I told him I regretted what had happened between us that night. He seemed so hopeful that maybe I would return to him once again, but I quickly dashed his hopes knowing it would be for the better that he give up on me. Deep down in my heart I knew I was lying to myself. I didn't regret it.  
  
I hadn't really spoken to Rui either. He now spent less and less time attending school. I assumed he was now spending most of his time with Shizuka. It was for the better that he wasn't around much. It made it less difficult to face the reality of leaving him. I was happy for him and Shizuka. I realized I was just letting my jealousy take over me in believing Rui would hurt me by using me to get over Shizuka. He would never lie to me. It was enough for me to be loved by him for a minute.  
  
I stopped in front of the heavy steel door with my hand against the knob wondering if he would be there. I thrust the door open and disappointment spread across my face. Looking out into the vast view in front of me all I let the wind swirl around me wrapping me in its cold arms.  
  
"Yo."  
  
"Rui." I turned around to see that cold, dead face. He leaned against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. "I haven't seen you in awhile."  
  
"I've been busy,"  
  
"Oh, Shizuka is what must be keeping you busy. You must be happy that she came back for you. I guess you two will be going back to France soon," I bitterly spit out. Why was I being so defensive? Calm down. Don't let him now you are bothered by this.  
  
"Shizuka and I."  
  
"Tsukushi! Rui! I thought I would find you two here!" Shizuka cheerily chimed in. She stood in the doorway with her natural graceful poise I had always wished I had. She strode forward with her hair swaying back and forth with each step she took. The bottom of her dress flapped in the breeze revealing her long, slim legs. "Oh Tsukushi I'm glad you are here. I wanted to find the right time to ask you this. I think it's only right that you be the first one to know since you've always helped Rui and I so much. We're getting married. The wedding will be in a few months. I want you to be my maid of honor? I don't have many close friends except for F4 and I want you to be a part of it. Tell me you will do it?"  
  
I stood frozen in shock. "Wedding?" I sputtered. Shizuka grasped my hands and looked into mine with such an innocent pleading look. "Yes," I weakly replied. I glared at Rui who now was turned away form us. Was this what he was about to tell me? I could feel the lump in my throat rising. "I'm so happy for you I'm crying," I wiped away a stray tear.  
  
"Shizuka, we have to go," Rui brusquely commanded grabbing onto her arm.  
  
"Thank you, Tsukushi. I will tell you the details later."  
  
Rui quickly ushered Shizuka out the door. He turned around and gave me an apologetic look. "Tsukushi, let me explain."  
  
I cut him off before he could say anything. "Congratulations Hanazawa Rui. You've finally found true happiness. What more could you have to say for yourself. Don't worry I won't ever say anything to Shizuka about your confession to me. I now know I was only a passing fancy. We'll always be friends, though." I forced a smile upon my face holding back the tears once again.  
  
"But."  
  
"But what?! Of all the people to use or betray me I never thought it would be you," I bitterly hissed losing control.  
  
Rui's mask came upon his face. I rarely saw him this angry, but I could tell from the defenses he was putting up. "Don't speak about what you don't know."  
  
"You should go. Your bride to be awaits."  
  
He opened his momentarily to say something, but quickly stopped himself. He dropped his mask revealing a hurt look in his eyes and looked away from me. With his back turned to me he simply shrugged and walked away.  
  
"Tsukushi."  
  
"What?!" I screamed spinning around to find whoever would disturb me at such a moment.  
  
"Haru."  
  
Haru walked up the stairs with is hands dug deep down in his pockets. All the work he had been doing was now beginning to show on his face. His skin was sallow and dark circles were forming under his eyes. When he smiled he no longer showed any signs of youth or life, but it was more a forced smile of someone who was ready to collapse. "I need you to come with me." He reached out his hand to me.  
  
I took his cold hand into my warm one shivering at the iciness that ran through him. I wondered to myself, if he had seen what had just happened, but I dare not. I didn't want to know if he did. Either way one of us would be hurt by that answer. All I needed to feel was his reassuring presence that soon my pain would all be taken away.  
  
We approached the garden and I looked up to see Jin, Fujio and Hana huddled into a little circle. They were all enraptured by their conversation to not notice that I had arrived with Haru.  
  
"Haru!" they all called out at once.  
  
"Tsukushi. What are you doing here," Fujio asked with a wary look in surprise.  
  
I stared at the three men in front of me thinking back to the beginning of the year when I had first met them. Seeing them standing in front of me today, I would never have recognized them as the same people. They had all grown tired and haggard in appearance. They all dressed similarly in black suits with long black overcoats that flailed in the wind. Although Hana's appearance remained polished and pristine as usual. Her hair was tighly wrapped up into a bun and she wore a simple long black dress. From within, she too was showing signs of worry on her face. I could tell everyone was becoming a little unnerved by it all.  
  
"Haru wanted me to come," I replied.  
  
The three of them looked at Haru in surprise wondering why I had been brought along to such a private meeting.  
  
"Haru, what are you doing? I thought you wanted us to meet here to discuss business?" Jin cautiously asked.  
  
Haru stared deadly into them. "She's coming with us after all this over."  
  
Hana's smile instantly dropped from her face. The conversation suddenly switched into Chinese. "What do you mean she is coming?! Do you have any idea what this means?!"she shrilly hissed at him. She ran forward and began pushing him backwards hitting against his chest with her finger.  
  
Fujio pulled Hana away and tried to calm the situation down. "She's not one of us. You know she could never handle it when she finds out the truth. Haru, this is not a game. People will get hurt. What will you do when she finds out the truth about us. I know you love her, but can she ever love you knowing who you really are?"  
  
"He's right. I don't' like this idea at all. It seems to risky. We all know what the mission is and I don't think it's good time to get her involved. There is no guarantee if we will even complete the mission. We haven't even found the right time to strike. All we do is wait for the right time. Look at Hana, she's about to have a nervous breakdown. It's even worse for her than all of us. She's part of the family and we can't even let her in one this mission. All she can do is wait for us to tell her when to go. We can't let someone get in the way of our escape."  
  
I looked on in wonderment by the secretiveness of the situation. I knew why Haru had brought me here now. It was time for me to be informally inducted into the "family". I carefully picked the right words with my limited Chinese skills. "Excuse me. But I think I should have a say in all of this. I know the truth about the past. Yakuza or not I still love Haru for who he is no matter what may come. I've known the entire time who you all are and I accepted you all for who you are now and not who you once were. Haru wants me to come with him and I want to go. Either way I will not back down."  
  
Shock of their sudden realization of my silent secret silenced them all at once.  
  
"You could understand Chinese all along? And you knew about our pasts?" Jin slapped his forehead in disbelief. "I thought I monitored everything enough to maintain our identities as a secret, Haru! You can't just go around telling people about us!"  
  
"Tsukushi is different from other people," he vageuly responded. Haru was now off in his own world. I could tell from his expression he was busy calculating something. "She knows nothing about our family business' dealings, especially not the mission. She knows about as much as Hana does, but she's been there with me through it all. I'm the leader. I say she's coming. There will be no arguments."  
  
He pulled something from his pocket and handed the other three each an envelope. They eyed the piece of paper wondering what this could all mean. Inside there was an invitation to a party.  
  
Haru pulled out his own invitation and opened it up to show me.  
  
"A party? I don't understand"  
  
"It's an invitation to a Christmas Eve celebration being thrown next week by your friend, Shigeru. All of Japan's elite will be there. That is the day we will strike. We now have a cover for an alibi as to our whereabouts. We show up there for a few hours and then disappear towards the end after everyone has become drunk or passed out. No one will remember when we left exactly so they will believe we were there the whole time. At midnight we go to work. Tsukushi and Hana will stay behind at the party. They will cover for our sudden disappearance."  
  
"We've been given a window of opportunity men!" Jin cheered patting Fujio and Haru on the back. "It's the perfect time, Haru!"  
  
"We should go then and alert the others," Fujio pointed out.  
  
"I know you. You two, tell the others. I have some more details to take care of."  
  
Haru turned to me. I was speechless. What did this all mean? Everything was now moving so fast. "Tsukushi, the day has come."  
  
"When will we leave after it's over?" I managed to ask through my shock.  
  
"The next day. December 25."  
  
Before I could say anything they were gone. Fujio and Jin ran to the parking lot and jumped into their black Mercedes leaving the grounds with the sound of their screeching tires. Haru quickly gave me a peck on the cheek and walked off not giving me a chance to say anything. It was now just Hana and me left.  
  
"I don't like this one bit," Hana said with annoyance in her voice. "I believe my brother's motives for doing all this is mostly for you. Don't say I never warned you to stay away. You say you know everything about us, but it I'm afraid that is where your biggest mistake lies. Don't speak about things you don't know a thing about."  
  
Like a whirlwind Hana coldly stormed away. I felt shivers run up and down my spine at her icy attitude. I stood there paralyzed wondering why it felt like everyone was calling me ignorant and foolish. First Rui and now Hana. They both warned me with the exact same words. I could hear both of their voices echoing through my mind, "You don't know."  
  
I stood there paralyzed for the moment lost in my own thoughts watching Hana walk away. Was I really a fool for believing it would be so simple to give up everything and start anew? I wandered around school feeling lost and hopeless wondering if maybe everyone else wasn't the problem. Maybe it was me?  
  
"Tsukushi."  
  
I looked up from my daze feeling exhausted. My brain just wanted to stop functioning. I slumped down on the bench feeling my legs go weak suddenly.  
  
"I'm tired. I just want to give up."  
  
Doumyouji sat down beside me and stared out at the scenery in front of us before letting out a heavy sigh. "You really are a worthless girl. I hate you the most when you are like this."  
  
I looked up at him in shock wondering what justification he could have for being such a jerk suddenly. First Rui, then Hana, and now Doumyouji. Enough was enough. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"  
  
He sat up from the bench and bent down over me pushing my back against the cold, steel. "You really are pathetic. What happened to the girl I once knew? The Makino Tsukushi I knew was a weed. She never gave up no matter what. I'm happy that I don't have to deal with you like this!"  
  
I could feel the blood rushing to my head. I clenched my fists seeing them turn white. "What do you know about what I'm going through?! You don't even hold the tiniest part of my life anymore." I pushed him away from me.  
  
"I don't know what problems you are going through, but I know it is eating away at you." He raised his fist in the air and let it fall down onto my head with a light thump before bursting out in laughter. "BAKA! If you have enough energy to fight me then you have enough to get through whatever problems you're having. How can I love such an annoying woman!" He pushed himself up from the ground and walked away waving a hand.  
  
I couldn't help, but smile to myself at that idiot. No matter how many times I've thought to myself how oblivious and selfish Doumyouji was, he could always surprise me by doing something like that. As I watched his retreating figure, I couldn't help but remember all the good memories we shared. I wiped away the single lonely tear that fell down my cheek.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
He stopped and did not turn around to face me. I watched his body rise while he let out a deep sigh ending with his shoulders slumping down. He dug his hands into his pockets. "If you really do love me then you wouldn't have left me then." Not giving me a chance to say something in return he strode off.  
  
My mouth dropped open. He really has changed. Somewhere in the last few months I had forgotten that I was the one for once to hurt him and not the other way around. I could feel a surge of guilt run through my body. I shook it off knowing that no matter what guilt would always plague me for hurting him. A person will find love many times in their lifetime. In the end, you will say I love you thousands of times, but it's all just words. It is the person you are with that matters. That is one lesson Doumyouji taught me. It's not what you say it's what you do that counts.  
  
I ran towards my class with a renewed energy ready to face the world once again. For once in a long time I felt like my fortune would be taking a turn for the better soon. Remember I am Makino Tsukushi, the weed. Nothing can defeat me.  
  
*****Later at the dango shop ******  
  
"Yuki! Are you there?!"  
  
I frantically waved my hand in front of Yuki, but her face remained in a fixed distant expression. I had been watching her go through the routine of work without once smiling or saying a word to me. It was completely abnormal for her to be that way, which made me really begin to worry. She leaned against the counter resting her chin against her hand vacantly ignoring the customers who I had to serve. After three hours of this it was getting really frustrating to work with her.  
  
"YUKI!"  
  
"Huh?! Where?! Uuumm.I just remembered I have to take out the next batch of cakes from the oven." Her hand slipped out from under her chin and she frantically made a run for the back door.  
  
I grabbed her arm before she could escape and pulled her to face me. "What's wrong? Yesterday you were talking nonstop about Shigeru's party. Today you seem so out of it. Did something happen between you and Soujiro? If he hurt you I swear to God I'll kill him!"  
  
"I'm not going to Shigeru's party." She nodded her head. "It's just become very complicated for us."  
  
"Complicated? I think I know a thing or two about complicated relationships," I laughed bitterly to myself. "I still don't understand why you aren't going. Soujiro's going isnn't he?"  
  
"He is. Just not with me."  
  
"What?!" I fell backwards a little in surprise wondering how he could do that to Yuki. Things were going so well for the two of them.  
  
"He wanted to take me, but since his parents are going to be there it'll be impossible. They've arranged a date for him. I can't just stand by and watch him with another woman while I am alone."  
  
I looked on at Yuki seeing a reflection of the person I once was. That was the last thing I ever wanted for my friend. Although I had to admit Soujiro was good for Yuki and vice versa, social status would always be a looming problem over their heads. Were they strong enough to beat the odds?  
  
Ring.  
  
I turned my head away from a crying Yuki to greet the new customers.  
  
"Welcome!"  
  
"Hey oneesan! Look who I bumped into one the way here."  
  
From behind a grinning Susumu stepped in Hana and Jin. I was a little taken aback at the fact that Hana would come here after the confrontation earlier. Their faces were solemn and I swallowed down that lump in my throat fearing the worst.  
  
"Hey Tsuksuhi!" Jin waved. He leaned against the counter peering at the many colorful cakes like a little kid drooling. "I think someone over there has something to say to you," he whispered to me.  
  
"Hello. Tsukushi," Hana said in a quiet voice. She stared down at the ground with fascination not letting her eyes meet mine. "Do you think we can talk privately?"  
  
"Sure." I walked out from behind the counter and took a seat opposite of her at a table in the back corner. I patiently waited for her to say something letting her make the first move since she was the one who wanted to talk.  
  
"Tsukushi, I wanted to apologize about earlier. I don't want you to take it the wrong way, but I was just a little hurt that Haru didn't tell me about you coming along with us and everything else. There are very few people in this world outside of the family that know about us. They would have used that information against us. I was worried you might be one of them. You knew everything about us this entire time?"  
  
"I found out a few months ago actually. I made Haru tell me the truth after the incident between Doumyouji, Haru and I. I would never do anything to hurt Haru. I haven't said a word to anyone about your pasts because it is not my place to judge."  
  
"Do you really love my brother?"  
  
I nodded my head. "Why else would I agree to go with him? I would give up everything I love for him."  
  
Hana's solemn face slowly lifted. She got up form her seat and wrapped her arms around my neck hugging me tight. "I can see why my brother fell for you. It'll be nice having another girl around."  
  
We got up from the table and Hana wrapped her arm around mine as we approached Yuki, Susumu, and Jin.  
  
"How about it Yuki? It's such a shame a pretty girl like you stay home and miss the event of the year."  
  
I suspiciously eyes Jin leaning over the counter whispering to Yuki. A flash of crimson was painted across her cheeks. "What are you doing to my friend, Jin?!"  
  
"Nothing. I was just asking Yuki if she wanted to be my date for Shigeru's party."  
  
"What?! You can't take her. She's already got a boyfriend, Soujiro."  
  
"Well what kind of man is too afraid to stand up to his parents and take the girl he wants? Come on Yuki," he chided. "I know you'll be the center of everyone's attention. I can't show up without a beautiful woman on my arm. Since your boyfriend isn't man enough to take you then I will. You shouldn't' have to miss the party just because of him. Why not make him madly and insanely jealous? Fight fire with fire."  
  
"Uuummm..ok. I guess," Yuki smiled falling prey to Jin's smooth talk.  
  
"Great! You won't regret this." Jin beamed in satisfaction of having talked her into going.  
  
I grabbed Jin by the ear and pulled him down close to me. "If you try anything with her I will hunt you down like the dog you are."  
  
Hana laughed at my threats and loosened her arm from mine. She pulled Jin away from the me and quietly whispered something into his ear. His face suddenly turned pale and the cheerful, smile on his face faded. He walked back and through the corner of his eye watching Hana's reaction. "Tsukushi I promise I will be a perfect gentleman upon accompanying Miss Yuki. Scouts honor." He traced a cross against his heart and raised one hand in a solemn pledge.  
  
"Well now that everything's settled here I think Jin and I should go." She walked over to Jin and scruffed him by the collar to drag him away.  
  
"I'll pick you up at 6 Yuki!" Jin winked to Yuki as he was being dragged out the door.  
  
"Let's go Romeo," Hana laughed. "Oh Susumu, about before. My answer is yes." She broke out into a giant grin and waved a goodbye.  
  
I watched Jin struggling to free himself from Hana's grip and laughed to myself as they passed the window. In a way, I had to respect Hana's fierce protectiveness over her brother. I feel the same way when it comes to Susumu. Now that things were better between us I felt a heavy weight lifted off of me. Everything was going to be fine. Even perfect maybe.  
  
I turned my attention to a dazed Susumu who dreamily stared out the window.  
  
I poked him on the shoulder jolting him out of his daze. "Yes to what?"  
  
"I asked her to be my date for the party," he slyly grinned before slipping off into his distant dream world.  
  
I turned to Yuki whose demeanor had made a complete 360 degree turn. She was humming to herself now as she folded boxes. Susumu continued staring blankly at nothing with a dreamy look in his eyes. I couldn't help but feel a little euphoric myself. 


	21. The Women He Loves

Disclaimer: I don't own the fabulous HYD or any of it's characters, but how I wish I did.  
  
Chapter 21: The women he loves  
  
"Woohoo! Looking good oneesan!"  
  
While dabbing on some gloss over my lips I glanced over to the side noticing Susumu's reflection. He lazily leaned against the doorway with his shirt l sloppily left untucked from his pants. His bowtie was slung around his neck untied. I spun in a circle letting the bottom of my gown fan out.  
  
"I clean up quite nicely, don't I?" I laughed. I walked over to him and pulled up his collar to carefully knot his bowtie around his neck. "Remember to thank Akira for lending you one of his spare tuxes."  
  
"Yeah, yeah yeah. I know. You don't have to be such a nag all the time." He pulled away from me and checked himself in the mirror. "Nice job on the bowtie. I spent the last fifteen minutes trying to tie the damn thing. Can't say you're not useful for something!"  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?!!" I screamed throwing one of my shoes at his head.  
  
He quickly ducked out of the room holding my heel in his hand. "I think you might need this." He tossed the heel back at me and dashed out the door. "Haru just got here to pick you up. He's waiting outside"  
  
"That's weird. I thought he wasn't going to pick me up until 6.It's only 4:30." I slung my silver sandal heels onto my feet hopping towards the door, but as a safety notice to any girl it's not a good idea to jump around in heels. I felt my body tumbling towards the ground, but luckily a pair of familiar strong arms caught me.  
  
Haru caught me in mid fall and turned me over to face his. I remained frozen in his arms wishing he would never let me go. Being in his arms and looking up into that face was intoxicating. It had been so long since I had seen him at ease. There was a refreshed outlook on his appearance. I could see some of the liveliness of that immature boy I fell for in the arcade returning. Wearing a black for head to toe in his Armani tux, I couldn't help but fall for him all over again.  
  
"AHEM."  
  
Realizing that we had an audience Haru pulled me back onto my feet.  
  
"Nice catch," Susumu laughed.  
  
Haru put his hand on the back of his laughing. "Well, what else is a boyfriend for, but to catch his clumsy girlfriend?"  
  
"Yeah my oneesan isn't the most graceful person in the world, but she can sure make an entrance. I don't think I'll ever forget that look on her face stumbling through the door."  
  
"Hey! It's not fair I thought you were on my side." I elbowed Haru in the ribs. Feeling exasperated over the two boys newfound camaraderie in making fun of me, I decided to break things up before Susumu revealed anymore embarrassing moments from my childhood. "Hey! Shouldn't you be getting ready to pick up Hana."  
  
"What?! I completely lost track of time. Thanks for sending a driver over to pick us up. Ja ne!" Not giving anyone a chance to say another word he bolted out the door holding onto the corsage he had picked up earlier for her.  
  
With a slam of the door and the screeching of tires, Haru and I were left alone.  
  
"So why did you come so early?" I coyly asked taking his hand into mine.  
  
Haru grabbed my coat, which was draped over a nearby chair and helped me put it on. "It's a secret," he whispered into my ear sending chills through my body. "I wanted to bring you to meet someone."  
  
As I sat beside him in his silver Mercedes my mind wandered as to how tonight would go. I couldn't help but feel a rising sadness in my heart about what I would be leaving behind. Honestly, I was tired of being the dependable one. For once, I wanted to not worry about everyone else. Slowly, tiny snowflakes began to dance across the sky in a slow ballet. They twirled, dropped, and leapt through the air using the wind to continue dancing before falling onto the ground and settling into their deep peaceful sleep.  
  
"Were here." Haru announced as we pulled up to a temple.  
  
"Mmhmm."  
  
As he helped me out of the car, I pulled my coat tighter around me watching my short breaths come out in puffs of smoke from my lips. It didn't really strike me as to where our destination was until Haru lead me through what appeared to be very well kept gardens for the winter. Finally, he stopped in front of a small field of white lilies. In the middle stood a large statue of a stone angel bowing down in prayer. Haru placed his warm hand in mine and pulled me through the small cleared pathway up to the angel. My eyes widened as I looked down at the words inscribed at the base of the statue.  
  
"Tse Yuri."  
  
Haru bent down on one knee. He kissed his fingertips and placed his them against the smooth stone. A serene peace settled in his face. "Hello okaasan. I wanted you to meet someone very special to me. She has changed me more than anyone these last few months."  
  
I stepped forward and bowed in respect. "Nice to meet you."  
  
Haru glanced up at me and smiled before turning back to the grave. "I've come to say goodbye. I never got the chance to say I'm sorry for not being at your funeral. I'm even more sorry for being a coward and never coming to see you, but I made sure you would always be surrounded by lilies. I know they were your favorite." Tears began to stream down his trembling face as his words became choked. "After today I think I will never have the chance to come see you again. I just wanted you to know that now I know why you wanted things to be this way." He leaned in closer clutching his hands against the ground. "Don't be angry at what I have to do tonight. In the end, the ends justify the mean. We both know he would never let me off so easily. This is the only way to end it all for good. Forgive me," he whispered.  
  
"Haru." I knelt down beside him and pulled him into my arms cradling him as he cried. It scared me to see him break down this way. Not once since the day I met him had he ever fallen apart like this. I couldn't help, but think maybe I should stop him from whatever he was about to do. Whatever it was couldn't be worth it. I knew I had to be strong for the both of us.  
  
He lifted himself up from the ground and wiped away the tears. He gripped my hand and solemnly looked down. "I just wanted you to know I'm not so alone in this world anymore." His entire body began to tremble once again. He wiped away the tears and straightened his back. He brushed away some of the snow that was settling onto the lilies weighing them down forcing them to droop. "I regret now for not realizing how much pain I put her through. Now I'll always wonder if there was ever a moment that I made her happy."  
  
"Translated Yuri means lily, right? Haru means spring and Hana translated is flower" I said breaking Haru out of his daze.  
  
"Yeah. Okaasan always said her favorite time of the year was spring when the flowers bloomed. It always reminded her of a time of rebirth when the deathly winter would be defeated by new life of the spring." He picked up one of the lilies and placed it in my hair behind my ear. "These are lilies of the valley planted all around here. I chose them because it is said they represent a return of happiness. It's odd that none of them have died in this harsh weather."  
  
I gently caressed his face with my hand. "Maybe it's just her way of telling you that you've brought her much happiness."  
  
His eyes lit up in enlightenment of my words. "I don't know what I would do without you sometimes." He gave one last rueful look towards his mother's grave before taking my hand and leading me back to the car.  
  
For awhile we both sat silently in the car not saying or doing anything. We new that we were quickly approaching the end of the road where there would be no turning back.  
  
"Tsukushi."  
  
"Hhmm."  
  
"I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to you. It would be like losing her all over again. I know you may not agree with me, but I think you may need some extra protection while I'm away tonight in case anything goes wrong. This is the only way I can protect the women I love."  
  
"What do you mean by protection?"  
  
He opened up the glove compartment and pulled out a small black box. He took a deep breath before pulling open the latch and flipping the lid up.  
  
I gasped in horror. "What is that for?"  
  
"Have you ever used one of these before?" Haru pulled out the shiny silver object from its case. He gripped it in his hand like it was second nature and pulled back the barrel with a loud click loading the cartridge within.  
  
I instantly shot back with the most obvious response. "Of course not! Why would I ever need to use a gun?"  
  
"Give me your hand." He grabbed my hand and placed the cold foreign object my palm. He carefully maneuvered my fingers to properly hold it. I nervously felt my hand shaking as he placed my finger around the trigger. "If things go badly and you and Hana get caught. Hana already knows how this works, but I want to know that you will be able to protect yourself. This could save your life. I put on the safety, but all you have to do is pull this back and pull the trigger if worse comes to worse." He pulled up my dress revealing my bare thigh and strapped it tightly on. I trembled at the very touch of the cold metal against my skin.  
  
"Is this really necessary?"  
  
"It is. I just hope to god you won't need it." 


	22. The begining of an end

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but if I could I would be one happy lady. (^_^)  
  
****Warning the next few chapters after this will include a whole lot of violence and foul language. Also there will be a few pathetic attempts at throwing in some Cantonese phrases. I was in a very angsty place at the time and quite distracted by writers' bliock when I wrote these. Since I realized some of my chapters are awkwardly cut up I've consolidated them making longer chapters. Whew. only a few more left to go. I knew I could cut this down to less than 30.  
  
Chapter 22: The beginning of an end  
  
I tightly grasped Haru's hand as we were led in procession down the hall to the ballroom. Upon entering Shigeru's massive mansion, a pair of servants scurried over taking our coats. Another held out a tray filled with masks.  
  
"Masks?"  
  
"Tsukushi!" Shigeru screamed running towards me. She grasped my hands. Her eyes widened. "You look absolutely stunning!"  
  
"You look lovely, Tsukushi. You and Shigeru will be the center of everyone's attention tonight." Fujio walked up and placed a hand on Shigeru's shoulder. She glanced up at the young man beside her and tilted her head away blushing.  
  
"Oh you didn't pick out your masks yet?" Shigeru asked rifling through the pile. Her fingers dug through the mess until finally they stopped at one. "This is perfect!" She picked up a white mask splattered in iridescent glitter with long flowing strings on the sides and placed it against my face covering my eyes. "With that dress you look like an angel."  
  
Feeling a little foolish I asked, "Why do we need masks?" I glanced over towards a large mirror and admired Shigeru's taste. I did look like an angel. The mask accentuated the crystal beads embroidered into the bodice that glimmered under the lights giving off a glow to my figure.  
  
She picked up a turquoise mask covered in feathers that matched the color of her gown and pulled it over her eyes. "You didn't know? I thought it would be an added air of mystery to tonight's festivities. That's why I thought of making this into a masquerade ball," she whispered in a low voice. She picked up a plain dark midnight blue mask from the set of male choices and placed it over Fujio's face. "Hmmm.I think this one suits you. Tsukushi, why don't you pick one out for Haru?""  
  
I surveyed the myriad of colors laid out in front of me fingering which one to choose. At first I picked up a hot pink one and held it up to his face. I couldn't help but laugh at the look of horror in his face and that pleading look to not humiliate him. Feeling merciful, I picked up a dark crimson mask and placed it over his eyes. The color suited the red chunky streaks through his jet black hair.  
  
"Good choice," he smiled relieved that I didn't make him wear the pink one.  
  
"How are we supposed to recognize people in these masks?" I inquired adjusting the mask on my face.  
  
"That's the whole point of tonight. Tonight you can be whoever you want to be!" Shigeru mischievously giggled. "I'm sorry, but I have to attend to my other guests. I'll see you later." Shigeru placed her arm around Fujio's and pulled him along to greet some other guests.  
  
"I didn't know Fujio asked Shigeru to be his date?" I whispered to Haru.  
  
"Uuumm. It was kind of the other way around. Fujio was completely caught off guard when she asked him, but you know him. He's so weak when it comes to saying no." he shrugged his shoulders in indifference. "May I escort you into the ballroom, madam?" He bowed down low and put out a hand.  
  
I straightened myself and placed my hand in his. "Of course, kind sir." I smiled playing along with him.  
  
We strolled through the large double doors, and I couldn't help but feel taken aback by the grandeur of the ballroom. The room was filled with beautiful women and handsome men mingling through the crowds. The overwhelming feeling of being out of place took over and I stood firmly planted on the spot. Haru nudged me forward. I gripped onto his arm and walked down the long winding staircase feeling like Cinderella finally arriving at the ball. There were a few stares from the audience below us, but Haru held onto me tightly guiding me on each step.  
  
Slowly the band began to play and a slow melancholy song and Haru spun me out onto the dance floor only to pull me back tightly into his arms. As we swayed to the music, I rested my head on his shoulder savoring every moment with him thinking it might be our last. Even surrounded by hundreds of people I felt like we were the only two people there.  
  
"Excuse me. May I cut in?" a masked figure asked tapping on Haru's shoulder while still dancing with his partner.  
  
I looked up at the couple beside us and smiled. "You look beautiful Hana," I admired her long blood red gown that fell delicately to the ground around her tiny feet. Her long locks were curled and fell carelessly down her bare back.  
  
"Thank you," Hana sweetly replied taking her brother's hand. "Sorry, but I would like to borrow my brother for this dance," she laughed. She took Haru's hand and soon they disappeared through the crowd of dancers.  
  
I took Susumu's hand and we continued drifting to the music. "So how are things going?" I asked teasing my little brother over his big chance to be with his dream girl.  
  
"She's even more amazing than I imagined," he sighed. "At first I thought she didn't even know I existed, but out of nowhere she started talking to me this week. I was hoping to tell her how I felt tonight."  
  
My mind wandered as Susumu continued talking my ear off about how wonderful Hana was. I began to feel guilty knowing that after tonight he would probably never see her again. There would never be another chance for them. After tonight it wouldn't be likely they would ever return to Japan with Haru and Hana's connections here.  
  
I interrupted Susumu in mid sentence. "If you really like her you should tell her now. Just tell her what's in your heart. It's better to say things now than to regret losing the chance to say them."  
  
"Mmhm." Susumu nodded his head in agreement. "I'll just have to wait for the right time tonight."  
  
At that moment Haru and Hana returned and we switched back partners. As I continued dancing with Haru I noticed a sudden change in Haru's demeanor. He was extremely tense and seemed to be always wary of his surroundings. Hana's face also appeared to be very solemn. "Is anything wrong?" I asked.  
  
"It's nothing," he smiled easing up a little.  
  
For the next few hours, we remained lost in our own world dancing. It was only when the band took a brief intermission did I realize how quickly the night had passed. I wandered around the room trying to pick out any familiar eyes through the masks. Haru quickly spotted Jin from across the room and excused himself to talk to him while I looked around for Yuki who oddly enough wasn't with him. Feeling frustrated at all the disguised drunken faces I gave up and decided to get some fresh air out on the terrace. I looked out at the enormous moon above that sent glimmering beams of light out onto the gardens. I tore the mask off my face taking in a deep breath of fresh air after wearing the stuffy mask for so long.  
  
"Tsukushi," a muffled voice called out from behind me.  
  
I turned around and to my surprise I found Yuki standing in front of me with a very distraught look on her face. Her red, swollen eyes were enough for me to know that she was troubled by something. "What happened?" I asked opening my arms up to hug her quivering body.  
  
"I knew I couldn't trust him," she choked out. "I thought I would be fine seeing him with someone else. He promised me that she would mean nothing to him, but it was all lies. I just wanted to talk to him in private and I thought I had the perfect chance for us to secretly meet when I saw him coming out of one of the rooms. He tried to stop me from opening the door, but I insisted we go into the bedroom to be alone. I'm such a fool. She was still inside getting dressed."  
  
"I'm so sorry," I whispered to her trying to calm her down.  
  
Suddenly an oblivious Kazuya wandered out onto the terrace. "Tsukushi! I was hoping to see you tonight." He ran towards me, but suddenly stopped dead in his tracks finally noticing Yuk in my arms. "Oh sorry. I didn't meant o interrupt anything." He began to turn around, but bumped into Jin and Haru.  
  
"I was looking all over for you Yuki."  
  
Yuki lifted her head and apologetically smiled at Jin. "I'm sorry to make you worry about me. I just saw something that I shouldn't have. If you don't mind could you just please take me home."  
  
Jin being able to talk his way through any unexpected turn of events quickly made excuses for not being able to leave yet. I wanted more than anything to be able to stay with Yuki tonight, but I knew it wasn't possible. I turned to Kazuya and a brilliant idea shot into my mind.  
  
"Kazuya. Could you do me a favor?"  
  
His eyes lit up in anticipation of what I was going to ask him. Kazuya loved it more than anything else to be the hero in the situation, especially when it was something I asked him to do.  
  
"Can you escort Yuki home. I can't leave yet and I want to make sure she gets home safe. I'm sorry I can't stay with you tonight Yuki, but I have to stay and wait for Susumu" I lied. "Get home and go to bed. Tomorrow will be better I promise. Bye."  
  
"Bye," She weakly replied dulled to my words.  
  
Kazuya ran forward and put an arm around Yuki's shoulder pulling her away from me. Like a frail appear doll she allowed Kazuya to lead her away. It saddened me more than anything that this would be my last memory of Yuki. By tomorrow I would be gone and it would just be another crushing loss to my best friend. How I wished I could really say goodbye to her.  
  
Finally it was just Jin, Haru and I left on that cold lonely terrace.  
  
"It was a good thing Kazuya could take Yuki home," Jin sighed in relief. "I really feel bad that I couldn't."  
  
"It's fine," I answered. "You have more important things to worry about tonight."  
  
"It's almost time. We need to make our exit from the party very soon. You remember the plan right?"  
  
"Mhmm," I nodded.  
  
"I'll go tell Fujio. Jin, you get Hana."  
  
"Okay. Here you'll need this." Jin handed Haru a bottle of champagne.  
  
Haru shook the bottle violently and pointed it towards Jin popping open the cork. I watched in amusement as a thick stream of foamy champagne gushed forth splattering all over Jin.  
  
"Thanks," Jin laughed wiping off the excess foam from his face with a handkerchief. "Hmmm.Time to play the drunken fool now." Jin slowed his steps and staggered back into the party bumping against people. He ripped off the mask covering his face making sure everyone in the room saw him.  
  
I watched in awe as Jin pulled off his superb acting job. He sidled up to Hana who seemed immersed in conversation with Susumu. She feigned worry over Jin who almost collapsed on top of her. She grabbed his arm and from what I could see she made up some excuse to leave for a while to take care of her drunken friend. As they left behind Susumu, Hana helped Jin walk out of the ballroom. Sneakily Jin looked up for a moment towards Haru and I and winked. Mission accomplished.  
  
"He's such a show off," Haru sighed. "I've got to get Fujio. You wait here and I'll come and get you later. It might take awhile to pry him away from Shigeru."  
  
Haru ducked back into the party leaving me to enjoy the quiet solitude of the terrace once again. I pressed my body against the railing enjoying the gentle breeze on my face. The snow had stopped briefly for now leaving the lawns dusted with a fine white powder. I shivered in the cold pondering over heading back inside to look for Haru, but a pair of arms hugged me from behind.  
  
"Couldn't leave me alone, huh?" I joked. However, something didn't exactly feel right. I turned around expecting to see Haru, but to my surprise it wasn't him. I gasped in surprise. "Hanazawa Rui!" I pushed his arms away watching them fall dead to his sides in defeat.  
  
'Rui!" a woman's voice called out from inside the ballroom.  
  
I watched him curiously as he slunk back into the shadows away from any prying eyes. He slid onto the ground and leaned back against the wall n his usual lethargic manner. He let out a deep heavy sigh and rested his face against his knees.  
  
"Shouldn't you go back in? It sounds like Shizuka is looking for you."  
  
I remained completely still facing out towards the eerily calming scenery. We remained at a standstill. I was too stubborn to leave and as for him, who knows what went on in the deep recesses of his abysmal mind.  
  
"Everything looks perfect on the outside doesn't it," he curtly stated. "I've loved Shizuka for as long as I can remember. We have a history together that could speak volumes. Do you know how long I waited for the day she would return my love? Then the day finally came. Now we're engaged. It's the perfect story, huh? Childhood love being fulfilled. What else could make for a more perfect fairytale ending? " He closed his eye and massaged the temples of his forehead. "It's all shit."  
  
I turned around and bent down beside him. "Why are you telling me this?"  
  
He averted his gaze from mine and continued to talk as if I wasn't there anymore. "You probably have no idea how bad things are in this economy. Shizuka and I are getting married to salvage what is left of our families' corporations. We're being pushed into this. I refused at first, but then she asked me to do this for her. She always will love me in some way, and we have a certain comfort with one another. It's all too convenient. I would do anything for her except one thing." He stood up from the ground and placed his mask back over his eyes. As quietly as he entered my life he disappeared once again.  
  
I ran forward grabbing onto his arm needing to know the answer. "What is that one thing?"  
  
"Love her." Before he walked away he pulled out something from the inside pocket of his jacket. And placed it in my hand. "Merry Christmas," he muttered. And like that he disappeared through the crowd of partygoers.  
  
I stared down at the small package in my hand and ripped off thin ribbon. From the small package something fell to the ground. It was a toy. The doll was quite cute with the little boy dressed in tuxedo lowering his head blushing extending a single daisy in one hand. As I reached own to pick it up I must have accidentally pushed the tiny button over the boy's heart. Suddenly I heard Rui's familiar voice coming from the figurine.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire: I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.  
  
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries hidden within itself the light of those flowers, and thanks to your love, darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.  
  
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving  
  
but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close  
  
"You don't love me, but my love for you will remain in darkness. I will wait an eternity for you."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I clutched the doll to my chest silently crying. Of all the things in this world, he could break me so easily. Every time when I least expected it he would do something like that. Alone I knelt on the ground trembling shaken by Hanazawa Rui's words.  
  
"Tsu.ku.shi" a slurred voice interrupted my solitude.  
  
I looked up and found a very drunken Soujiro stumbling forward almost collapsing on top of me.  
  
"What do you want?!" I screamed shrilly at him pushing his heavy body away. I raised my hand slapping him across the face trying to knock some sense into him.  
  
He raised his face to mine. His eyes brimmed with tears. "I fucked up."  
  
"Soujiro!" Akira and Doumyouji yelled running towards us.  
  
Soujiro lurched forward, but I ducked away before he could pin me down. His body began convulsing. He violently began vomiting over the railing. "I'm so sorry Yuki. Nothing happened. I swear to god, nothing fucking happened!"  
  
"Come one man." Akira wiped Soujiro's mouth and pulled him to stand upright. He sighed to himself in exasperation knowing he would have to ditch his date and take care of Soujiro. "Sorry about that Tsukushi. He's been like this all night."  
  
"I'm tired of seeing such a pathetic waste of a human being. Did you know how much Yuki cared about you?! And what do you do? You throw it all away for a one night stand with some strange girl you just met! She'll never take you back! You can be a real bastard!"  
  
Doumyouji pulled me back before I could pounce on him. "It's not what you think."  
  
"Tsukushi. It was all a big misunderstanding. Yuki did see that girl half naked, but the thing is nothing happened. That girl practically threw herself at him, but he rejected her. Yuki just happened to arrive at the wrong time." Akira shook Soujiro out of his stupor.  
  
"You've got to believe me, Tsukushi," Soujiro slurred grabbing onto my arms.  
  
A sense of relief washed over me. "I believe you." I could see the sincerity in Akira's explanation. I heard the seriousness in his tone.  
  
"I'm going to try to sober him up."  
  
Soujiro grabbed onto Akira for support as they stumbled away.  
  
"Falling in love can really change a person," Doumyouji admitted. "I never would have guessed in a million years that Nishikado Soujiro would lose it over a girl."  
  
"Well, love makes you do stupid things."  
  
"Yeah, I guess." He dug into his pocket and slipped out a tiny jewelry box. "Here. I didn't have time to pick you out something, so I chose this since I knew you liked it."  
  
I took the box from him and carefully opened it. "I don't know what to say. I can't accept this."  
  
"Just take it will you!" he gruffly commanded. He picked up the saturn necklace from so long ago and clasped it around my neck. "You are the love of my life, and I lost you by my own stupidity. I want you to keep it. It'll remind you that I will always be there for you." He lurched forward hugging me in his arms and lowered his head kissing me passionately making my entire body go weak. Before I could protest he released me and strutted back into the ballroom heading in the direction of where Akira and Soujiro had left.  
  
My head was spinning in confusion. What was that? My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. I stumbled towards the railing for support trying to catch my breath.  
  
From behind me Haru grabbed onto my arm. "Tsukushi it's time."  
  
I turned to face Haru feeling knowing my heart had betrayed him. I quickly gathered my composure and managed a faint smile. "I'm ready."  
  
Haru put his arm over my shoulder and ripped off his mask. I guided him through the crowd as he stumbled into people as Jin had done earlier making sure everyone in the room saw him enter the bedroom drunk with me. When I turned the doorknob and pushed open the door, I found Hana, Jin and Fujio waiting. Haru let go of me and he went to discuss some matters with the others. I just wandered over to a seat by the window and quietly observed them at work.  
  
Hana yanked out a briefcase from under the bed. She threw it onto the bed with a thump and unlatched the locks. The blood drained form my face.  
  
"Catch!" she yelled as she picked up the handguns like they were toys and tossed them to Haru, Jin and Fujio.  
  
I was petrified as Jin twirled his around in his hand stopping it briefly to point at some invisible object. "It's been a long time since I've held one of these," he laughed. "Just like riding a bike though." He walked over to the open briefcase and picked up a few cartridges tucking them into his jacket. He loaded one of the cartridges into his silver polished gun and firmly tugged back the barrel locking it. He jokingly pointed the barrel towards Haru's head. "When was the last time you had one of these pointed at your head." He yanked the gun back making the sound of bullets being fired.  
  
"Stop playing around you idiot. You always get gun happy every time!" Fujio yelled pushing away his gun away. Fujio locked and loaded his gun and tucked it away. 'I don't even know why we trust you with one."  
  
"Well it's because I've got the best precision behind Haru here."  
  
Hana pulled out a slightly smaller gun and ripped open the side of her gown's slit. She strapped the firearm to her thigh and pulled the dress back over to conceal it.  
  
Haru silently mulled in the corner reassembling his gun after dismantling it to inspect it. His sullen face was enough to reveal the turmoil he was feeling.  
  
After a long period of silence he walked over and grabbed my arm pulling me out onto the balcony closing the door behind him.  
  
"This is the part where we go and you stay behind, but the only change in this story is I won't be coming back for you."  
  
"What?! What are you saying?" My mind went blank. "You're leaving me."  
  
"I can't do this. I'm not the person I used to be." He held the gun up in his trembling hands. "Shit! My nerves are shot. They're gonna come after us."  
  
"Why? Why are you doing this?"  
  
"You were never mine."  
  
He knew all along.  
  
"You know I do love you, though."  
  
"I know. You don't mean it, but thanks for saying it anyway. I was never meant to be the one. I always knew your heart was not entirely with me, and I don't regret loving you. We just gave each other the solace we were craving for so long."  
  
My heart was breaking having him tell me the truth that I denied for so long. In a way, I did love Haru, but it would never compare to my feelings for Doumyouji or Rui. I loved Haru in a protective manner wanting to comfort him and take care of him. Perhaps if I had met him first I would have chosen him, but fate dictates the timelines of life and we are meet people at the right time for the right reason. It was my curse to fall in love with three different men each in radically contrary ways.  
  
"Are you ready to let go?" he smiled.  
  
"Mmhmm."  
  
We walked hand in hand back into the bedroom with a dazed Fujio calmly sitting in a chair. Jin busied himself nursing a glass of brandy from the bar. Haru let go of my hand for the last time and took center place in the room.  
  
"Where'd Hana go?"  
  
"Oh, she'll be right back. She went off somewhere."  
  
"It's over."  
  
"WHAT?!" Jin and Fujio yelled at the same time.  
  
"We're dead. Did you even think about what this would mean for the rest of us?" Jin threw the glass with enough force shattering it against the wall barely missing Haru's head. "Stop being so silent Fujio! Say something, dammit!"  
  
The air had become extremely tense. The silent pounding of the ballroom music beat against the walls causing them to reverberate.  
  
Fujio slowly stood up and stared blankly out the window. "I'm out. I didn't want to do this in the first place." His blasé attitude was nothing more or nothing less than expected.  
  
"I don't care what you think. I'm the leader and I'm telling you it's over. Fujio, go get Hana and I'll take care of him. Tsukushi, you should go."  
  
I grimly followed Fujio out of the room. Slowly I closed the door thinking to myself it would be the last time I would see him.  
  
"I wish I were dead sometimes."  
  
"Fujio?"  
  
"Hmm.Sorry, I was just thinking out loud. He's leaving you behind, huh? You don't need to answer. I had a feeling he would do this. He's always been fickle since we were little kids." He bent down and gently kissed me on the cheek. "Perhaps one day our fates will cross again." He dug his hands in his pockets and walked down the hall disappearing around a corner.  
  
I was shaken feeling completely lost. What do I do now? Not wanting to think anymore about such things I dragged my feet down the hall not knowing where to go. The lights went out. I was trapped in complete darkness.  
  
BANG!  
  
My heart stopped. I felt myself running back towards the door stumbling through the hallway. I stopped in horror as I looked down feeling something wet on the ground. Blood seeped out from the door and into the hallway.  
  
"Tsukushi!" Fujio screamed running towards me.  
  
"FUJIO!"  
  
It was too late. One of the shadowy figures from behind him fired. The bullets pierced through the air. Petrified I watched as his blood splattered against the walls. He fell a few feet in front of me. He raised his head in anguish.  
  
"RUN!"  
  
I was paralyzed. A hand grabbed me from behind and forced a cloth over my mouth. I struggled trying to hold my breath, but the need for oxygen was too great a force. As I slipped in and out of moments of consciousness I could hear my attacker's voice, "No one can save you now."  
  
Then the world went black.  
  
***A/N: The poem is taken from Pablo Neruda's Sonnet 17 I think. 


	23. Merry Bloody Christmas

Disclaimer: You know the drill by now. Blah blah blah. Chapter 23: Merry Bloody Christmas  
  
"Wake up!"  
  
I jolted backwards groaning in pain. My head was throbbing and every part of my body was crying out. I winced as I struggled to move my hands that were bound behind my back. Through bleary eyes I tried as hard as I could to focus on where I was, but the dim lights only made it harder to see. I could faintly make out my surroundings as some warehouse. I opened my mouth to scream only to find that my mouth was taped. Suddenly the switch for the lights being turned echoed through the room. One by one a spotlight was turned on illuminating the other hostages.  
  
Doumyouji.  
  
Rui.  
  
Shizuka.  
  
Soujiro.  
  
Akira.  
  
Yuki.  
  
Kazuya.  
  
My eyes widened as I watched in horror each of my friends bound. Their eyes widened at the realization that they were not the only ones. Slowly they awakened from their own drugged sleep.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" Akira yelled tugging at the ropes on his hands.  
  
Soujiro managed to stand up tied to the chair and started to try to break away.  
  
"Shuddup! Don't even try anything"  
  
Form the darkness like a man appeared with a baseball bat and bashed it into Akira's kneecaps. A loud cracking noise rung through the room and Akira screamed in agony feeling his legs being broken. The man then raised the stick in one swift motion like a hammer striking down Soujiro on the head. He fell down instantly. Everyone quickly closed their mouths afraid to speak fearing the ramifications.  
  
"Well, I see you're finally awake," a dark figure laughed as they emerged from the darkness into the light. They came closer and closer to me pulling off the duct tape covering my mouth with a slow ripping sound.  
  
"Jin. It was you? How could you?" I hoarsely whispered.  
  
"No. It was me." From behind the shadows Hana appeared under the bright light. Her blood red lips were curled into a smile. She draped an arm around Jin's neck and pulled his face to hers in a passionate kiss. "It feels so good to not have to keep our little secret anymore," she whispered into his ear. "Bring them out!"  
  
In front of me stood Haru limply slumped over. He was only held up by the two men in suits holding him from both sides. Blood dripped down his face from the gash on his head. A growing puddle of blood surrounded his feet on the floor. To his left Fujio was too being held up by two other men. He slumped over breathing heavily. His eyes were glazed over barely alive. They both violently struggled to free themselves from the goons, but it was futile.  
  
She sashayed over to Haru cupping his chin with her hand. "You really thought you could leave so easily." She pulled out the guns hidden on Fujio and Haru and handed it over to one of her henchmen. "You won't be needing these. Betrayal hurts like a bitch doesn't it, ge ge?"  
  
Haru icily glared at his sister. "Why?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious?!" she shrilly laughed. "I knew you would fail us. Father gave you one simple job and you couldn't even handle that." She leisurely strolled over to Doumyouji and stroked his face as he turned away in disgust.  
  
"Don't touch me bitch!" He spat in her face.  
  
She wiped away the spit from her face with the back of her hand. Quickly Hana jammed her gun into his face hitting him in the eye. Doumyouji reeled backwards almost falling over in his chair. Her voice turned overly sweet as she spoke. "Naughty. Naughty. Be good now."  
  
"What about okaasan's wishes?"  
  
"Okaasan was a fool! She didn't see how much power our family had. Why would I want to give all this up? Since you can't do it I'm taking control."  
  
I couldn't stay silent for another moment. "What does this have to do with all of us?"  
  
"You really are a stupid bitch!" she yelled. "Tell her what you were going to do Haru! Inquiring minds want to know what you've been planning these last few weeks. Oh, suddenly shy are we. I'll tell her. His mission was to kill Doumyouji Tsukasa. He would have done it if it wasn't for you, Tsukushi! You should have heard him blubbering some nonsense about not wanting to hurt you. He backed out of the deal because of you! I knew you would be a problem. Why do you think I took so much precaution into becoming your 'friend'. It was all too simple to be invited into your world. I was watching your every move, learning who you loved and who loved you. It was just too simple with the help of your sweet brother. He would have done anything for me, even tell me your deepest secrets. Can you believe he thought I loved him?"  
  
My mind went blank. Betrayal. Lies. Was this for real? He would have told me if his mission was that. "Tell me it isn't true Haru!" I looked in his direction, but he lowered his head in admission.  
  
"It's true."  
  
"Now I have all of F4 here. Do you know how much their families would pay for the price of the heirs to the wealthiest corporations in Japan? I'm giving you this final chance to come back Haru. How about it?"  
  
"Never."  
  
"Oh, I think you will." She spun around and fired a shot hitting Kazuya. He screamed in agony and his entire body slumped over in stillness.  
  
"NO! KAZUYA!" I screamed.  
  
"My, my, my whoever will be the next to die?" she sang to herself placing a finger on her lips. "Perhaps the ever so sweet and innocent Yuki," she jumped behind Yuki and placed the barrel of the gun against her head. "Wait! I know. I know this would make Tsukushi very happy. How about the lovely Todou Shizuka?" She glanced towards me evilly smiling waving a gun in front of her. "Let's kill the bitch who stole Hanzawa Rui from you! So who will it be brother? Who's senseless death will you be the cause of next? Maybe I will just use my bargaining chip now. Why don't I just kill the person to blame for all this?" She grabbed my face and shoved the barrel of the gun into my mouth. I almost choked upon tasting the residue of gunpowder from her previous shot.  
  
"TSUKUSHI!" both Rui and Doumyouji yelled at once.  
  
Enraged Haru broke free and dove forward pushing away the men who held him. He jumped on top of me knocking out of the chair Hana away. His body hovered over mine, but he wasn't fast enough. Hana scrambled to pick up her gun and pointed it against his head.  
  
"You really think that would save her?" she laughed. "Grab him!" she commanded to the men who once again pulled him back.  
  
Jin walked up to Haru and spitefully patted him on the cheek. "It seems our great leader has fallen, eh?  
  
Fujio snapped into consciousness and glanced over at their traitorous friend. He muttered something in Chinese. "You would do this to your own hing dai?"  
  
"You stopped being my brothers the day you rejected the family."  
  
In the blink of an eye, Haru punched out one of the suits. He dodged the impending blows they tried to get in, but he spun around them grabbing onto the gun strapped under the henchman's jacket. With full force he rammed the gun into the other man knocking him out cold. In the mass chaos, Fujio grabbed one of his guards and snapped his neck letting him fall to the ground with a thud. He grabbed the gun from the fallen man, but the other henchman challengingly pulled out his gun at the same time. Fujio fired without a second thought hitting him in the hand causing the gun to fall on the ground. With a swift motion, Fujio elbowed him in the face knocking him out cold. Hana grabbed me by the hair and jammed the barrel of her gun against the side of my head. Haru pointed the gun at Hana. Jin pointed his at Haru and Fujio at Jin. They were now at a standstill.  
  
"Still trying to fight your destiny?" Hana mockingly laughed. "I'll kill her you know."  
  
"What's going on here?" a voice boomed.  
  
I looked up at the man standing in the doorway to the warehouse. It was that face that sent chills up my spine before. That day I saw his face through the car window dreaded ever meeting him in person. From behind him two men in suits stepped forward.  
  
"I see you've come for the show father," Hana sarcastically spit out.  
  
Mr. Tse's face darkened in annoyance. His face was fixed and stern showing no sign of any emotion or attachment. He stood tall and domineering showing no signs of weakness. His black hair was slicked back. "You've really disappointed me, son."  
  
Haru's eyes lit up with a fire inside. He moved his gun away from Hana and now pointed it towards his father. "Don't ever call me your son!"  
  
Mr. Tse whipped out his own gun with one swift move and pointed it to Haru. Without any hesitation he shot Haru in his bad leg putting a second gunshot wound into it. "So this is Makino Tsukushi. It is quite a striking resemblance. I've heard so much about you. It appears my son has taken a liking to you. I'm sorry that you will not live to meet me again." He looked right at me speaking with a strange gentleness.  
  
I watched intensely thinking would father kill the son? Or would son kill the father? Haru winced in pain as his leg began to tremble from the pressure of standing on it. The bodyguards reached for their guns, but were stopped by Mr. Tse who brushed their hands away. "I'll take care of this myself. Leave us. This is between family." The two men reluctantly waked away.  
  
"So, Haru. Who will it be? Do you choose family or this girl? All you have to do is drop your gun. It will be over soon," Hana chided.  
  
Haru's face lowered and I watched as his fingers loosened letting the gun slip out of his hand. It fell to the ground with a clank.  
  
Mr. Tse tucked away his gun. "That is a good boy." He turned towards Hana. "Kill the girl and her useless friends! All we need is F4. Keep the model, I could use her for later. The dead bodies will send out a message we mean business about the kidnapping."  
  
"Right away."  
  
I looked in horror as Haru was going to let this happen. He was going to let us all die. "Haru," I hoarsely whispered pleading for him to not let it end this way.  
  
He looked up at Hana and me with deadend eyes and muttered, "I'm sorry."  
  
BANG! 


	24. Too many

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters cuz if I did I would want me a piece of F4. Kawaii!  
  
Chapter 24: Too many  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"I knew you would make the right choice, ge ge."  
  
Everything at that moment was moving so slowly. I wanted to scream, but the sounds would just not come out. Haru raised a defeated arm out towards me as if he was trying to grasp onto me one last time before Hana fired. I nodded my head in acceptance that this was the end and hoped death would be swift. However the unexpected happened.  
  
From Haru's raised arm something shiny slipped out of his sleeve. With dexterity, the gun slid down into his hand. Not hesitating for a moment he fired.  
  
"Hana," he whispered through choked breaths.  
  
My stomach lurched at the splatter of blood that hit my face. Hana's face went white like a sheet and her petite body crumpled over instantly. Her hand dragged down my arm with her and I looked down into her pitiful face, which now had a look of shock in it. Blood spurted out from the tiny hole through her chest.  
  
Where did he get the gun from? He shot her. His own sister. Suddenly the pieces all fit together. He took it when he fell on top of me before. The realization that the gun that was strapped to my thigh was missing struck me. He had slipped it off me when he dove for me before. He calculated and executed a chance to get the gun, so they wouldn't' know. He had made his choice.  
  
Jin instinctively fired a shot at Haru, but his aim was impaired by the hit to his back. Fujio lodged a bullet into Jin's shoulder making his arm jerk back. Jin dropped his gun upon feeling the intense pain running up his arm through his hand. Fujio grabbed it and now was loaded on both hands.  
  
"Good show!" clapped Mr. Tse laughing bitterly. "You haven't forgotten a thing I taught you, Haru.. First rule: never trust family. Hana was never one to listen, was she? I see you even remembered the perfect kill I taught you four as children. Right through the heart."  
  
"You are to blame for all this!" Haru screamed. His entire body was trembling in confusion. He pointed his gun towards his father. "I'm going to send you to hell bastard!"  
  
"Oh. No. No. No. I think you better rethink what you are going to do." He motioned towards the two men who came up from the sides poised to shoot him if he made the slightest move. "I think I will teach you a lesson about the meaning of family." He pulled open his jacket and jerked out his gun. "Just like a father's duty. Always finishing up the messes the children leave behind. I'm very disappointed in you too Jin. You were like a second son to me. I remember a time when you and Haru were constantly competing to see who was better. You had the makings to be a great leader if given the chance. Perhaps I would have let you take over. Fujio never had the same drive as you. That thirst for blood. It was never really his nature. I always thought you showed a great deal of promise. Your failure hurts the most. I don't accept failure well."  
  
In cold blood, he shot him in the stomach. Jin fell forward and his face slammed against the ground. Blood now seeped through his clothes and trickled in a puddle around him. He was barely breathing fighting to hold on.  
  
"I want you to suffer, Haru. This will teach you a lesson about what happens when you disobey your elders." He turned his gun towards me and like a deer caught in headlights I froze. Repetitive fire shots were fired at me.  
  
"NO!"  
  
Rui and Doumyouji both at the same time lunged towards me. Breaking free from their restraints with some ungodly superhuman strength. They both fell to the ground pushing me out of the way and falling on top of me. I looked on in horror as their puddles of blood began mixing with each other into one river. Rui managed to drag himself against the ground using his arms and pulled me down covering me like a blanket. Doumyouji laid down beside me breathing heavily struggling with each inhale and exhale.  
  
Mr. Tse was stunned that they had used themselves as shields to cover the girl, a nobody.  
  
Everything after that went by in a blur of gunfire. Fujio extended both arms to the side and his shots rung through the air one after another. His arms jerked back a little each time he pulled the trigger. The two men didn't have a chance and fell lifeless to the ground. In agony, Fujio dropped one of the guns to the ground beside Jin's lifeless body having been shot through one of his hands.  
  
Haru and Mr. Tse both glared hard at one another waiting for the other to make the first move. Mr. Tse pulled back the trigger, but all that came out was the soft click of an empty gun. His eyes widened in fear of impending defeat. "You win. You're out. It'll be a win-win situation. We can both walk out of here alive."  
  
Haru lowered his gun for a moment.  
  
Mr. Tse smiled to himself. "That's a good boy."  
  
Haru looked up and raised the gun once again, "Rule one."  
  
BANG!  
  
Mr. Tse fell backwards, his legs went out from under him upon the hit to his knee.  
  
Haru turned around to walk away, but Mr. Tse managed to pull out another gun strapped to his ankle.  
  
"Haru! Look out!" Fujio screamed.  
  
BANG!  
  
Haru turned around as he watched his father on his knees. His head tilted back a little. His hand was put against his chest. When his hand dropped to his side a small hole through his heart was revealed. Haru turned forward to see where the shot was fired. His eyes widened upon realizing who had done it.  
  
Jin stood with the gun in his hand. "We'll always be hing dai, Haru. He made a few steps forward and fell to his knees besides Hana body. He picked her up closer to him and cradled her in his arms gently kissing her cold hands. "Hana, Ngo oi nei." He crumpled over still clutching her head in his lap until he collapsed over onto his side. His chest rose and fell heavily. He gasped in coughs vomiting blood. He clutched tightly onto her hand.  
  
Haru rushed to the others untying them and freeing them form their captivity. We've got to get out of here before the others come!" he screamed rushing Yuki and Shizuka to untie Soujiro and Akira. He stopped in his chaotic movements at the sight of Fujio's convulsing body. He bent down on one knee besides him.  
  
"Are we still brothers?" Jin whispered to Fujio. His eyes began to dull over. He slipped in and out of consciousness muttering to himself.  
  
Fujio nodded. "Brothers."  
  
Shizuka ran to Rui's side checking him over to see how badly he was hurt.  
  
"Rui! Are you okay?" Shizuka screamed in panic at all the blood he was covered in. She broke down in tears seeing him hurt.  
  
Rui groaned in pain and touched his body feeling for where the bullets had hit him. slipping into unconsciousness. He touched the spot on his shoulder where the blood was coming from and winced in pain.  
  
I ran forward to help Rui, but Shizuka stood in my way. "Stay away from my Rui!" she snapped with a protectiveness. "You've done enough."  
  
I guiltily slunk back away from Shizuka. She was right. It was my fault. I turned my attention towards Doumyouji who was being looked over by Fujio. His body was still. I dove towards him.  
  
"Doumyouji! Fujio what's wrong with him? He's not responding!"  
  
"He's been shot four times in the back," Fujio grimly replied as he raised his good hand covered in Doumyouji's blood.  
  
He made no movements as I screamed his name. I touched his back and felt the warm blood still seeping out. I patted his cheek to wake him up fearing he had already left me. "Please wake up," I begged between sobs.  
  
"Hmmm." he muttered as his face scrunched up in pain. He opened his eyes that pierced right through my heart.  
  
"Baka! Why did you push me out of the way!" I found myself scolding him.  
  
He only smiled at me with that same goofy grin he always had just for me. "I told you I would got to hell and back for you," he laughed. His drastically changed contorted in agony. Then his eyes closed and he laid still.  
  
"Doumyouji!"  
  
"He only passed out from the pain, but he needs some real medical attention Fujio," calmy said as he tried his best with one hand to stop the bleeding. "Hold onto this," he instructed to me as he took my hand and placed it over one of the open wounds.  
  
Form the distance I could hear the faint sound of something approaching. It was sirens.  
  
"Shit! It's the cops. We can't stay here Haru. We've got to go!" Fujio yelled. Fujio grabbed Jin's limp body and threw it over his shoulder.  
  
Haru ran and picked up the body of his sister who appeared so tiny in his arms like a small doll. He stopped in front of me with a pleading look searching for understanding. He opened his mouth wanting to say something, but words failed him.  
  
"Thank you for saving us." I weakly smiled. "Go!" I yelled.  
  
Fujio honked the horn as he brought the car to a screeching halt in the doorway. Haru nodded his head and ran towards the doorway and jumped into the backseat. He looked back at me one more time with a glint of sadness and regret in his eyes.  
  
As I watched the police and paramedics burst into the warehouse I clutched Doumyouji's hand. Suddenly the room began to spin. I could make out the faint sound of shouting as the paramedics dropped to their knees trying to awaken Doumyouji. I looked around in a daze as I watched them pry Doumyouji's hand out of mine and he was placed onto the stretcher. To my left Rui was already being whisked away into one of the ambulances. The room was now spinning with bodies being taken out in stretchers.  
  
"Are you okay miss?!" a policeman screamed into my face.  
  
I blankly stared ahead into nothingness. Nothing made sense anymore. My body felt suddenly heavy.  
  
"We need help here!" the policeman screamed towards another group of workers.  
  
My head bobbed back and forth. Finally my body gave up and I passed out.  
  
*****************  
  
"Ugh," I groaned as I placed a hand onto my forehead.  
  
"Oneesan!" Susumu yelped as he suddenly jolted out of his slumber. He fell to the ground from his chair  
  
"Where am I?" whispered barely able to find my voice in my weakness.  
  
He scrambled onto the bed and sat down beside me. "You're in the hospital."  
  
"How long have I been like this?!"  
  
"Only a few hours. The nurses had to sedate you for a while to calm you down. You were screaming in your sleep."  
  
"Doumyouji?! Rui?! Where are the others?"  
  
Susumu lowered his head afraid to speak. "Oneesan, when they found you. There were so many. It was a bloody massacre." 


	25. One by One They Tumbled Down

Disclaimer: Hmm. If I could own one of F4 who would it be? Akira's pretty darn cute, but I can't resist a weirdo like Rui. : D  
  
Chapter 25: One by one they tumbled down  
  
I glanced up at the television screen behind Susumu's head. It was more than enough to see it again. Images flashed up of each of the F4 being wheeled into the hospital's emergency room. A spokesperson emerged from inside the building to greet the throng of reporters eagerly waiting to get the scoop on the details of the incident. The man slowly cleared his throat.  
  
"On behalf of the Doumyouji family we kindly ask you to respect their privacy and their wishes. According to the police reports and our own sources, last night's bloody incident was a failed kidnapping attempt. Upon entering the scene the hostages were found and luckily enough they were all rushed to the hospital in time."  
  
"Can you tell us of the conditions of F4?" a reporter asked shoving his microphone closer.  
  
"That is information we are unable to disclose of the moment. I'm very sorry, but this interview is over. Security please clear the area."  
  
Like that the brief interview was finished. I watched as the reporters were being escorted away by armed guards. The outside of the hospital was now heavily surrounded by armed guards blocking any outsiders from entering the premises.  
  
I bolted out of bed tossing off a whirlwind of sheets into the air. Leaving a stunned Susumu with an open mouth, I scrambled through the hallways knocking people over in my mad search. Although my body was still weak and aching from the night before, I ignored it. Not taking in any of my surroundings I ran through the winding halls with one thing in my mind- were they alive?  
  
"Tsukushi!" hoarse voices called out from behind me.  
  
I spun around with my hair whipping into my face. "Akira! Soujiro!"  
  
My eyes widened in shock. Akira was slowly being rolled out from his room in a wheelchair. Both of his legs were propped up n huge casts. Soujiro was none the better with his head bandaged up. He carefully limped out of the door across from Akira's room. I ran over to them falling on my knees in front of Akira in shame.  
  
"Oh god this is all my fault," I choked out. Uncontrollably I sobbed holding my face in my hands.  
  
Akira gently patted me on the head not saying anything. For once he was at a loss of words.  
  
"Oneesan!" Susumu ran towards us from the end of the hall. He scooped me off the ground and held me up.  
  
"Come on. We're we going to check on the others," Soujiro grimly said. His face darkened at the prospect of venturing out to the other rooms not quite knowing what they would find.  
  
As Susumu lead me down the hall behind Akira and Soujiro I couldn't help but notice how eerily quiet the entire ward was. Except for the beeping of the machines and a few of the doctors and nurses mulling about the there was an unmistakable eerie silence. At the end of each corridor men in black suits guarded every exit and entrance into the ward. Upon seeing Akira and Soujiro walking towards the double door into the next corridor the men quickly nodded their heads in recognition of F2 and stepped aside.  
  
As we walked into the first room my stomach lurched. I walked past the two familiar faces from my childhood trying to remain calm. I bowed lowly not wanting to raise my face in shame. I was to blame for all this. "Hello Aoikesan."  
  
The middle-aged woman sitting quietly in her chair next to her husband glanced up at me through red bloodshot eyes. "Hello Tsukushi chan. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances." She turned away and continued to stare at the boy that lie in the bed hooked up so many machines he needed to sustain his frail body. She placed her hand on her husband's who seemed to be in some faraway place lost in a daze. The small woman pulled her husband from his seat and led him towards the door. "We'll be back in a few moments."  
  
I slowly inched forward wondering to myself if this was all just some sick dream. The beeping of the machine monitoring his heart beat was a piercing sound that made me feel jumpy each time I heard that loud beep. I sat down beside Kazuya and put my hand over his.  
  
"Kazuya." There was no response. His eyes remained closed. His pale face was enough to indicate how critical his condition was. Only the small rhythmic rise and fall of his chest showed any signs of life in him. I stared at the bandage over his chest with a stain of blood seeping through. "Please, Kazuya, open your eyes for me?" I begged.  
  
"He can't hear you Tsukushi." Soujiro's harsh words plunged right through my heart and soul. "We were lucky that the police found us. His heart beat was so faint they barely could find it. The bullet punctured one of his lungs. With the lack of oxygen going to his brain he fell comatose." Soujiro took one long deep breath before letting the words fall from his mouth. "They think he might be braindead. They won't be sure until he wakes up."  
  
"No. he can't be. He'll wake up and he'll be fine. Right, Akira?"  
  
"The doctors don't know. It could be a soon as days or even as long as years before he wakes up," Akira spoke up.  
  
"Do his parents know about what really happened?"  
  
"All they know is that the their son was kidnapped as part of a ransom plot. It's better they don't know the truth."  
  
Warm tears dripped down from my face onto Kazuya's hand. I clutched his hand even tighter hoping he would squeeze it back, but there was nothing. His face was so peaceful, though. He was so calm and I could sense wherever he went he was had to be better than the cruel reality of the sterile hospital.  
  
Soujiro placed a hand on my shoulder. "We should let him rest." He nudged my arm snapping me out of my thoughts.  
  
"I'll come back later to visit you," I whispered as I gently squeezed his hand once more.  
  
When we retreated back into the empty hallway there was a long silence awaiting us. We each just stared away from each other preparing us for the next room. Susumu tightened his grip around my shoulders preventing me from slipping down onto the ground in a huddled mass.  
  
"What about Yuki?" I muttered.  
  
"She's fine. They checked her out and there were only a few minor cuts and bruises," Soujiro answered. "Her parents have already taken her home."  
  
I let out a heavy sigh of relief. At least she was safe. "Thank god."  
  
"Rui and Tsukasa are down the hall." Akira lowered his head and softly said the next few words. "We're going to check on Shizuka now. After we got here she was hysterical. I'm sorry to say this but."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The only thing she kept screaming fro was that you not be allowed near Rui. She left strict orders that you not be allowed to see him."  
  
My heart stopped. "She won't allow me to see him?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I understand." "Shizuka has been sedated for the last few hours. The doctors gave her something to sleep. She'll probably be waking up very soon. Now might be your only chance, Tsukushi. You go alone and we'll take care of Shizuka."  
  
"Thank you, Akira."  
  
We parted way and I watched Akira and Soujiro retreat into one of the many rooms of the floor. Now I trailed behind Susumu as he led me down the other end of the corridor. It felt like I was taking the last few steps on death row wracked in guilt and worry over the last two. Susumu released my hand and took a seat outside of the room understanding this was something I needed to do alone. Now was the moment of truth. Slowly I raised my trembling hand to the doorknob and pushed the door open. The sun was shining through the large windows sending off a white glare off the sterile hospital room. Rui laid back in the bed with his eyes closed. I felt my chest seize and tighten at the sight of him. It was only when I moved in a little closer that I was relieved to see the gentle rise and fall of his chest. I stood over him for a few minutes in silence memorizing every detail of his peaceful sleeping face knowing it would probably be the last time I would ever be a witness to it. I looked down realizing his arm was now held up by a sling.  
  
Slowly his body began to stir. His eyes weakly opened squinting through the blinding light of the sun's rays casting over his face. A slight smile curled up one his lips. "Tsukushi."  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Been better," he laughed. "I don't really know what it's supposed to feel like after being shot. Not as bad as I expected," he lightly laughed.  
  
I lowered my head and tears poured out onto my hands gripping onto the side of the bed. "How can you laugh about something like this?" I choked out in a hoarse whisper. "You could have. I don't know what I would do if you."  
  
Rui hit me on top of my head with his hand. "Silly girl." he gently scolded. "I would never leave you. I said I would always be your guardian angel."  
  
I wiped away the tears from my eyes. "I'm so sorry."  
  
He put a hand on my cheek over the bandages covering the scrapes and bruises. "It's my job. Can you help pull me up?"  
  
I got up to help prop him up against some pillows, but ended up clumsily tripping over something on the floor falling down against his arm in the sling. I scrambled up off of him.  
  
"Oh god! I'm so sorry!"  
  
"It's ok," he smiled. "I can't feel anything there anyway."  
  
I looked down at his right arm wondering what he meant. "What do you mean?"  
  
"The bullets caused some nerve damage. I've only got a small percentage of ever regaining full usage of my arm," he bluntly spilled out.  
  
"That means. It can't be. Why don't you seem the least bit upset? Rui! You can't play your violin anymore!"  
  
"It's a small price to pay to save your life. Don't give me that look. No matter what I would have done anything to save you."  
  
I looked up and smiled as best as I could for him. From outside I heard a gentle knock at the door. It was Susumu's signal for me to leave. Shizuka would be here soon. "I have to go now."  
  
He nodded his head in understanding. It was that unspoken connection we had to read each other's thoughts. "She can never stop me from seeing you."  
  
I patted his hand one last time and arose form his bedside. Trying to put on a cheery face I strode out the door. "Maybe I should," I said in an inaudible whisper.  
  
Doumyouji's room was adjacent from Rui's. I decided to visit him last. Every second I hesitantly stood outside that door was unbearable. I had ignored him long enough. Deciding it was better to get it over with I walked through the door with my head held up high prepared for the scene in front of me.  
  
"Doumyoji!"  
  
"Yo!" Doumyouji smiled as he lay propped up in bed. He put down the remote control for the TV he was furiously pressing before and signaled for me to come in.  
  
"Shouldn't you be resting?! You were shot four times in the back!" I screamed in horror. I stood over him in his bed lashing out on him about needing to take better care of himself, but he did something rather unexpected.  
  
"Be quiet."  
  
He reached up and pulled my head down to his. It was his usual solution to getting me to shut up and well it worked. I pushed him away blushing profusely. "Why did you do that?!" I gasped trying to catch my breath.  
  
"Well how else was I supposed to get you to shut up!" he growled.  
  
"Fine. I can see you are very much alive. I'm going now!" I spun my heels around and proceeded to the door.  
  
He grabbed my hand before I could make a clean get away. "So you were worried about me?" Doumyouji asked raising one eyebrow.  
  
I swallowed back the tears. "Of course." I couldn't bear to turn around and look him in the eyes. I was being swept up in a tide of emotions. "I would never want one of my friends to be hurt because of me."  
  
"Yeah, friend." He cleared his throat. "I noticed you went to his room first. I'll always lose to him, won't I?"  
  
I slumped my shoulders. "Why do you always have to make it sound like a game where one of you comes out the winner? All I can say is that my love for you two can't even be compared. It's equal, but they are both so different. I don't think I could make a choice."  
  
"Will you stay by my side while you decide?"  
  
I opened my mouth to tell him my answer, but at that exact moment we were rudely interrupted.  
  
"Hey who's having fun without the rest of us?"  
  
I turned to the doorway to find a peeping Akira. Soon after Soujiro's head appeared from behind him.  
  
"Tsukasa, you've got to have some kind of freakish superhuman body. You were shot four times in the back man!"  
  
Akira slowly wheeled himself into the room next to Doumyouji's opposite side from me and picked up the remote flipping through the channels. In frustration he pumped all the buttons furiously. "We're all over the damn news! You'd think they would have something better to report on," he muttered to himself. Finally stopping on one channel his face lit up in glee. "Ooo. Doraemon Christmas Special!"  
  
Soujiro sat himself down on the couch and leaned lazily onto the arm. He slapped one his hands against his forehead. "I can't believe you still like Doraemon."  
  
"I remember this one! Doraemon brings out a special invention to help Nobita, but he ends up screwing it up.'  
  
"You've just described every episode of Doraemon you idiot!" Doumyouji growled trying to get out of bed to snatch the remote away. "This is the one where Nobita is trying to find something special for Shizuka, so he steals one of Doraemon's gadgets."  
  
"How do you know so much about Doraemon?" I asked trying to suppress my giggles. Before I knew it I couldn't hold it anymore and we all burst out in laughter.  
  
Doumyouji's face turned a bright red. "Tsubaki and I would watch it together every Christmas since mother and father would always be away," he mumbled to himself. He redirected his attention to a snickering Akira and lunged towards him. "Give me that!"  
  
Watching Akira clutching the remote for dear life singing along to the theme song of Doraemon and Doumyouji trying to pry it out of his hands was too much for me. Soujiro jumped over trying to break up their scuffle, but somehow managed to get caught in the middle between them. Thinking that someone was going to get hurt I snatched the remote out of Akira's hand and turned the TV off.  
  
"Aaawww..I wanted to watch that," Akria whined. He folded his arms across his chest and sulked by himself.  
  
I helped pull Doumyouji off of Akira and settled him back in his bed. "You shouldn't overexert yourself," I muttered under my breath.  
  
"Hey oneesan! Look who I found outside!" Susumu pulled someone from behind him into the room.  
  
I stopped what I was doing at the sound of a familiar loud voice. "Tsukushi!" Shigeru screamed running towards me wrapping into one of her huge bear hugs.  
  
"Shi.ger.u." I gasped trying to breath. "Can't breathe!"  
  
"Sorry!" she smiled releasing me from her death grip. "You had me so worried. There was blood all over the walls in that hall. I never thought something so horrible could have happened in my own home. There should have been better security."  
  
"Don't worry. I'm fine."  
  
"Everyone's been pretty quiet about what happened? The police are keeping a lid on who the kidnappers were. Tsukushi, where's Haru and the others?"  
  
"Yeah, weren't all of them with you last night? I've been trying to find Hana to see if she got home okay last night."  
  
The room became silent. A lump rose in my throat at having to be the bearer of bad news. Slowly I recounted the details of our predicament.  
  
"I would never have guessed!" Shigeru screamed wide eyed.  
  
Susumu remained sullen and turned away from me. He tightened his fist and punched the wall leaving a dent. "She used me to hurt you," me muttered under his breath. "I can't believe I was such a fucking idiot!"  
  
I placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. I never would have imagined she and Jin were behind it all."  
  
"None of us had any idea what they were capable of," Soujiro nodded.  
  
Susumu placed his hand over mine on his shoulder. "What hurts the most is that I fell for her."  
  
"By the way, how did you manage to find us?"  
  
He managed a small smile feeling a little less guilty. "It was because of this," he pulled out a cellphone.  
  
"My cellphone? What does that have anything to do with it?"  
  
Susumu patted me on the head while shaking his head in a condescending manner. "When the lights went out I went looking for you and Hana. I was worried that something might happen to you two. Then I saw you. Some men were pulling you into a van with the others, and sped off. I tried to run after them, but I knew I couldn't catch up. It was a good thing I remembered that you always carry your cell phone. Also, I realized Doumyouji would buy the best phone with all the latest features including GPS capabilities. I called the company and told them that I lost the phone, so they looked up the location of where it was. It led me to the warehouse and the rest is history." He pushed my chin up closing my gaping mouth.  
  
"I completely forgot I had that on me last night."  
  
"Well now we know who got all the brains and good looks in the family," Akira laughed. "As I've asked many times before, what happened to you, Tsukushi."  
  
"HAHAHA." I slapped Akira's propped up leg. "You're so funny!"  
  
Akira grabbed his leg in pain. "Aaahh! Is that how you treat a sick man?"  
  
Everyone looked away pretending they saw nothing. I stuck out my tongue at him in triumph.  
  
"You deserved it," a quiet voice said entering the doorway.  
  
"Yo, Rui," Doumyouji greeted waving a hand. "Where's Shizuka?"  
  
"I told her to go home and get some rest. She'll be back later to visit all of us."  
  
Rui slowly scuffled into the room finding a seat on the couch next to Soujiro with the aid of a nurse. He plopped down on the soft couch. "I think she is the least of our problems right now. She's probably heard about what happened already. She'll be coming here soon and knowing her team of spies they know everything. Tsukushi is implicated in everything. It's not going to look good."  
  
Akira nodded his head in agreement. "I was thinking the same thing. We all know how Tsukasa's mother can be a real BI."  
  
"Mother!" Doumyouji gasped.  
  
".usy woman!" Akira quickly finished his sentence. "Hello. We were just talking about you," he sweetly smiled. He slowly slunk down at the deadly glare she shot him.  
  
"Really Tsukasa, you must be careful about the type of people you associate yourself with."  
  
The loud clacking of her heels shattered the peaceful calmness of the room. We could all feel the rising tension. She stopped at the foot of the bed and stared at my Doumyouji's hand holding mine.  
  
"I flew all the way from New York the moment I heard about what happened. I knew that leaving her with you would be the biggest mistake," she spit out staring hard at me. "I was more than thrilled to find out that you two were no longer an item, but you always find some way to ingratiate yourself into this family and our money. I knew someone like you would bring only misfortune. YAKUZA! I always knew poor trash like hr would go with yakuza. It seems that now your little thug boyfriend has left you you've returned to my son with your tail between your legs."  
  
I lowered my head in shame. "I'm sorry."  
  
Doumyouji gripped my hand even tighter. "Get out of my room!" he bellowed.  
  
Doumyouji Kaede widened her eyes in shock. "You dare speak to your mother in that tone!"  
  
"I won't let you speak about her that way! She's done more for me than you have in my entire lifetime. Get out of my room you old hag!"  
  
She stiffened her back. "It seems you haven't learned your lesson, Tsukasa. I'm giving you one last chance. Give her up."  
  
"Never."  
  
"Fine. Then you've sealed everyone's fates." She smiled sweetly one more time revealing all the wrinkles on her face covered by layers of expensive cosmetics. She turned around and walked out of the door, but stopped in the doorway leaving a few parting words. "You think you are mighty now, but even the mighty shall fall. I will take away everything that you have ever loved." With that she left the room.  
  
We all remained silent for a few moments.  
  
"I'm going to sleep." Rui stood up and ambled his way out the door back to his room.  
  
"How about we watch the end of Doraemon," Akira suggested picking up the remote and turning the TV back on. He fixed his eyes onto the blue cat on the screen, but no smile lingered on his face.  
  
"Good idea, Akira," Shigeru said sitting down beside Soujiro.  
  
Soon the room was filled with the voices of the anime characters to distract us from our own thoughts.  
  
"I hope we can watch this together every year," Doumyouji whispered into my ear. He settled himself against his pillows and a smile curled up on his lips watching the TV.  
  
It was so easy for him to let those words go through him. He moved over a little and I sat beside him leaning against the same pillow staring into the screen trying to concentrate on something else. I stole quick glances around the room. We all stared blankly at the anime not really paying attention, but more lost in our own worries. After Doumyouji fell asleep I quietly slipped out of his room. Susumu escorted me back to my room and settled himself in a chair pulling out a pack of cards.  
  
"I'm going to sleep," I announced.  
  
Exhaustion overcame me and I quickly slipped into sleep.  
  
"Hmm." I tossed over I my bed. I slowly opened my tired eyes. The room was now completely dark. I propped myself up on the bed and looked around the room taking in my surroundings. Susumu peacefully snored in the chair he had settled himself in hours before. It was almost midnight already. I rubbed my head now feeling a sudden dizziness from oversleeping.  
  
"Tsukushi?" a voice called out in the darkness. He emerged from the shadows holding something in his hand.  
  
"What are you doing here Haru?"  
  
He walked over tot he bed and placed the bouquet of lilies onto the table. Seeing his face illuminated by the moonlight he seemed like a ghost. Cloaked in black he emerged like a dark prince of the night. His face was lax and he smiled at me with the smile he had only for me. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."  
  
"I thought you would have run out of the country already. What are you still doing here?"  
  
"It's been crazy. Word has already spread about what happened. They're all waiting for me to step up now and take his place."  
  
"You aren't going to. Are you?"  
  
He let out a heavy hearted sigh. "Of course not, but we're letting them believe I am. In a few days we're leaving the country and probably the family we've built these last few decades will just fall apart or someone else will rise to the occasion. All I know is that it won't be me. I'm out."  
  
"You shouldn't be here. There are guards all over the place."  
  
"Don't worry. I'll slip in and out of here with no problem. It was a little too easy actually. I just wanted to come here and say I'm sorry about everything that happened. It was my fault that you were dragged into this." He I should be getting back. Fujio is keeping a lookout for me. I'll be leaving in five days. Here is a number where you can reach me if you need anything. I'll always be there for you." He put a slip of paper into my hand. "Goodbye." He bent over and gently kissed my forehead. Stealthily Haru made his way out the door disappearing once again into the shadows.  
  
Clutching the piece of paper in my hand I leaned back and closed my eyes. A sudden breeze blew into the room sending the soft curtains dancing in the air. I opened my eyes to find where it had come from. I stepped out of my warn bed letting my bare feet touch the cold tiles of the floor. I wrapped the thin hospital gown tighter around me hurrying to shut the ajar window. As I pulled the window closed something caught my attention. I looked over at the house of cards Susumu had built on the table precariously held together. At that moment the house tumbled down into a wave of cards spilling onto the table and the floor. One by one they tumbled down.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
My eyelids slowly fluttered open upon the dawn of a new day. I inhaled deeply sucking in a sweet, light scent that lingered in the room. Turning onto my side I opened my eyes wide to see a fresh bouquet of lilies placed in the pitcher of water on my nightstand. I leaned over and ever so gently grazed the petals with my fingertips watching them shudder under my touch. A small smile curled on my lips. "Haru," I whispered softly to myself.  
  
"You're finally awake." Susumu hoarsely whispered having fallen asleep in the chair next to my bed. He was a mess these past few days. He had made some silent vow to never leave my side ever again as my protector. There was no use in arguing with him when he was like this. I have to admit that even my calm level- headed brother couldn't escape the Makino stubbornness. He had practically moved into my hospital room only leaving me to go home, shower, and change clothes in the wee hours of the morning slipping past all the reporters camped out in their vans in front of the hospital in search for any scrap of news.  
  
My eyes remained set on the lilies. At first I thought his appearance like a ghost in the night was all a dream, a trick my mind had played on me. However, I awoke the next morning to find the bouquet of lilies on the table. Although I never saw him again after that night, a new bunch would appear every morning to replace the old bunch. I took it as a message from Haru was still alive easing my worries. A twinge of sadness hit me realizing he would be leaving tomorrow. Leaving Japan and leaving my life forever.  
  
"It's been quiet these last few days, a little too quiet if you ask me. Aren't you the least bit worried about what she'll try to do?"  
  
"What can we do? All we can do for now is wait. She strikes like the snake she is, when you least expect it."  
  
Susumu's body broke out into a shiver. "Just the thought of her gives me chills. That was the first time I ever laid eyes on that woman, but it was enough to give me nightmares. I feel bad for Doumyouji to have such a bitch as a mother."  
  
"Let's not talk about her right now ok."  
  
"Your right. Well, I have some good news, though. The doctors told me you can be discharged today."  
  
"Really?!" My eyes lit up at the idea of finally being able to leave the cold, sterile hospital room. "I can't wait to go home to my own bed. Its been getting old sitting around the here. Let's go!" I jumped of bed in anticipation of shedding the drab hospital gown.  
  
"Here. I brought you some clothes from home." Susumu passed me a bag before pacing around scanning the room for something.  
  
"Thank you." I took the bag of clothes ad proceeded to the bathroom to change and freshen up. A few moments later I reemerged with my arms in the air pulling back my hair into a ponytail. Wearing a comfortable t-shirt and jeans I was ready to go.  
  
"I wonder where they put your stuff. The nurse said she would drop off your bag of personal belongings." He fell to his knees and searched under the bed. "Found it!" He flipped the bag upside down and let the contents spill onto the bed. He picked up a rumpled ball of fabric and shook it loose.  
  
My eyes widened in horror. The gown had large stains of dark red blood staining its once pure white color. I snatched it out of his hand touching the stains. I threw it back into the bag. "Burn it," I ordered.  
  
Susumu nodded in agreement. "I'll go ask someone to take care of it." Before he left he held out two small items. "These were also in the bag."  
  
I took the two little trinkets from him and stared at them. Unclasping the chain of the Saturn necklace I placed it around my neck feeling the cold metal against my skin. It felt right. It was back with its rightful owner. Raising my hand to touch the pendant my mind wandered back to the answer I was about to give him. The more and more I debated in my mind who I wanted to be with the more exasperated I became. Although spending the last few days visiting Doumyouji in his room opened up my eyes of how much he had changed these last few months. He seemed more patient and understanding. Without realizing it, I found the part of my heart that I had closed off from him opening up again. Perhaps we were truly meat for each other. However, these thoughts didn't last very long at the sound of Rui's voice filling the air. I had accidentally pushed the button while clutching the little toy I my hand. His words rushed over me filling me with doubts of what my feelings were. Even if he wasn't by my side he always found some way to get to me. Feeling suffocated at the moment I decided to take a walk.  
  
Soon I absentmindedly found myself in the hospital's private enclosed gardens. Everything was frosted over encasing all life in ice. I was aroused from my dazed state at the sight of footsteps left in the snow. Feeling curious I followed the trail. I stopped towards the ends seeing the familiar figure of Rui standing alone under a tree. I held myself back from moving closer in fear that Shizuka might be nearby. His back was turned to me and his body showed no signs indicating he was aware of my presence. He stared at something on he ground and bent down on his knees to take something out. I peered over to see what he was so intently staring at and shock overtook me. He was gently touching the strings to a violin looking at it lie an old, familiar friend. In a matter of seconds he used hi good arm and picked it up. He turned around and I saw a look in his eyes burned in fury. He threw it with all his strength against the tree letting it smash into pieces.  
  
I jumped back at the cacophonous shriek of the violin meeting its death. I backed up and carelessly stepped on twig letting out a snap sound. He quickly averted his eyes in my direction. The hate in his eyes extinguished and they softened at my frightened face.  
  
"Tsukushi," he whispered in his usual dead tone.  
  
"I'm sorry I disturbed you." I spun around wanting to run away from the scene. He had to hate me. I took away the one thing he could find solace in.  
  
"Don't go!" he said in an abnormally loud voice startling me. "Stay with me for a little while." He walked over to a nearby bench and patted open space next to me inviting me to take a seat. "Please."  
  
"Okay," I nervously sputtered out edging down not the bench. I edged away from him feeling like I was too close for comfort.  
  
He sensed my obvious nervousness and slid closer over to me. We remained in silence.  
  
"You must hate me for taking away the violin from you. Why else would you destroy it?"  
  
Rui let out a heavy sigh and placed a hand over mine. "I'm angry, but not at you. You see that violin over there. It was a Christmas gift from my parents. They have no idea what happened to me. They could care less I suppose. All that maters to them is that I'm alive to marry Shizuka and save the company. They really believe that they can buy my pliancy with expensive gifts. They don't even know who I am."  
  
"Well they must only want what's best for you. It might be in your best interest to marry Shizuka. She really does love you."  
  
A pained expression spread over his face. "I don't love her. I love you."  
  
I gently brushed a few stray strands of hair from his eyes. I started to get up, but he grabbed my wrist from behind pulling me back.  
  
"Do you love me?"  
  
"In some ways, yes."  
  
"Then why won't you accept me?"  
  
"I have my reasons."  
  
"I've lost you to Tsukasa, haven't I?"  
  
I couldn't help, but let out a sarcastic laugh. I kept my back to him while I spoke. "You two have more in common than you know. You're both rather childish. It's always a competition between you two. I'll tell you the same thing I told Doumyouji. My love for both of you are equal and yet not the same. No one can make me choose." With those words I pulled my arm away and walked back indoors leaving Rui to sit alone in his solitude.  
  
I walked inside feeling shaken up and even more confused than ever. I braced myself by pushing my back against the wall to control my breathing. At that moment Shizuka walked past me saying a curt "Good Morning" before continuing down the hall probably in search of Rui.  
  
"Are you alright?" a frantic voice asked.  
  
I turned my head around. I pulled away from the wall and straightened my back. "I'm fine Susumu. What was that?!" I jerked my head way at the sound of a loud crash.  
  
"It sounded like it came from Doumyouji's room."  
  
Not waiting for Susumu I ran towards Doumyouji's room and burst through the open door. From the corner of Akira's mouth blood trickled down. What startled me the most was the attacker. "Soujiro!" Soujiro stood firmly planted glaring in contempt at his friend. His normally calm and collected composure was erased by the panicked and disheveled exterior. Soon Rui ran in from behind me with a look of disbelief. I was left as an innocent bystander as the scene unfolded.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Doumyouji bellowed.  
  
"You did this!" Soujiro pointed a accusing fingers at Doumyouji and Akira.  
  
"What are you talking about, Soujiro. What happened?"  
  
"I've got nothing now. I noticed a sharp decline in our stock a few days ago, but dismissed it thinking it was only because of the rumors surrounding the kidnapping. She was behind this all along. It was a full out attack on us, a corporate buy out commanded by her."  
  
"What does this have to do with Akira then?" I asked causing them to all stop and look in my direction.  
  
"She couldn't do it alone. She brought in some help.the Mimasaka corporation helped fund the buy out in an acquisition of my company and to accomplish a merger with Tsukasa's. You've got to do something about this Akira. Talk your father out of the deal!"  
  
Akira became very silent. "I can't. If we back out my entire family is screwed. When I tried to talk to my father about it he said he couldn't because of her. She's blackmailing him into this. Apparently one of the senior VPs was involved in some insider trading. She threatened to reveal this information to the public. My father would be implicated if any of this comes to light. Even if I tried to back out of the deal my father has put all our assets on the line to go through with this. If it falls through I lose everything." He shook his head.  
  
"There must be some way to fix all this," Doumyouji said pacing around the room for an answer. "I could always give you a loan to try to get your company back. Let me call my accountant to wire the money over." Doumyouji picked up his cell phone and began shouting over the phone. "What do you mean I can't! Do you know who you are talking to?!" In frustration, he threw the phone against the wall. His eyes glazed over in defeat. "She froze my accounts."  
  
"There's a way to solve all of this," Soujior spoke up. His voice was low and harsh. "Tsukasa, I've always supported you and Tsukushi. You owe me. Give her up and maybe your mother will reverse all this."  
  
Doumyouji stared at his friend as if he was insane. "No."  
  
"What do you mean no! Stop being a selfish bastard!"  
  
"I'll never do it. I know my mother and she will stop at nothing. Even if I do leave her she will make sure Tsukushi pays for the trouble she has caused to her perfect plans for me. Who will protect her?"  
  
"I will," a quiet voice spoke up.  
  
"What about Shizuka, Rui?" Akira screamed. "You're supposed to marry her in a month. If you don't her family will lose everything. We've known Shizuka our entire lives and you're willing let her fall."  
  
"You had Shizuka.You even had Tsukushi, but you tossed them aside. They were never good enough for you. I've always known she was the only woman I would ever love, but you. You don't deserve her.," Doumyouji growled lunging at Rui. He started pounding into him. "You've always tried to steal her away from me. You've always been trying to take her away behind my back. Y own friend!"  
  
Akira and Soujiro each grabbed one of them and pulled them apart. Soujiro held onto Rui. Akira had a bit more trouble pushing Doumyouji back using wheelchair as a blockade.  
  
"I've always thought she should have been with Rui," Soujioro snorted.  
  
"You would want Shizuka's family lose everything," Akira replied with contempt in his voice.  
  
"Better her than me."  
  
"Now who's the selfish bastard?"  
  
"Do I see you breaking the acquisition deal?" Soujiro sarcastically remarked.  
  
Akira looked away. "You know my hands are tied."  
  
"It's fine to be united as playboys. As friends we have nothing Akira."  
  
"We can get through this. We are F4 remember. We have always relied on each other."  
  
"F4? That's a load of shit. It's more like us taking care of Tsukasa. All we have ever done is cater to you, Tsukasa. What have you ever done for us?" Soujiro laughed. "There is no F4. F4 my ass." Soujiro stormed out of the door. He glared t with pure hatred. "You started all this."  
  
"He's right. When it comes down to it. It's every man for himself." He slowly wheeled himself out of the room pausing in front of me. "You've destroyed us," he bitterly whispered to me.  
  
I stood petrified as Rui and Doumyouji held their steadfast glares towards each other.  
  
"Who will it be, Tsukushi. You've got to decide now," they both demanded at once.  
  
"I."  
  
From outside I could hear the pounding of footsteps running through the halls.  
  
"He's going into arrest!"  
  
"Get the paddles!"  
  
"Blood pressures down! His heart beat is weakening!"  
  
"We've got to defibrillate! Everybody! One! Two! Clear!"  
  
THUMP  
  
I ran out of the room following the frantic nurses running back and forth. I came to a halt as I saw Kazuya's body jolt up with the surge of electricity being sent through his body.  
  
"What's happening?! Why isn't he breathing?!" Kazuya's frantic other screamed. Her husband had to pull the hysterical woman back to avoid interfering with the medical staff.  
  
"No response!"  
  
The doctor holding the paddles only increased the voltage by turning all the knobs at once.  
  
"Damn it! Defib in one! Two! Clear!"  
  
THUMP  
  
"Still no response!"  
  
"One! Two! Clear!"  
  
THUMP.  
  
Amongst all the chaos the erratic beeping of the machines came to a long waling beep. The doctor tossed the paddles aside.  
  
"Time of death, 10:45."  
  
"NO!" Kazuya's mother screamed falling into a fit of sobs. She collapsed onto the ground holding herself in fetal position. Her breaths became choked and her body convulsed. Her husband's face turned pale and all he could d was kneel beside his wife trying to soothe her.  
  
NO. This can't be real. Kazuya is not dead, I said to myself. Hot tears began to streak down my face. He's alive. Any minute now the doctors will think of some way to save him. He'll be fine. We were supposed to take a second trip to Atami next year. He promised. He's not dead.  
  
"Oneesan." Susumu placed a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"He's not gone."  
  
"I should take you home."  
  
Susumu grabbed me by the shoulders and led me away from the sight of Kazuya's dead lifeless body. Halfway into getting into the taxi cab my brain ceased to function and I fainted.  
  
I woke up a few hours later with a pounding sensation in my head. For a few brief seconds the pain that shot through my brain numbed me from feeling anything anymore. Nothing could be taken back.  
  
Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
I glanced down at my cellphone on the floor. I cringed at the thought it might be Doumyouji or Rui. I relaxed seeing that it was only Yuki.  
  
"Hello. Yuki."  
  
Smal sniffles came through from the other end. "Tsukushi. I'm leaving."  
  
"What?! What do you mean you're leaving?"  
  
"My father was suddenly transferred to the Canada office. If he doesn't leave he'll be fired. After the kidnapping my parents are more than willing to go. I'm at the airport right now. We were only given one day to pack all our things. I tried to reach you in the hospital, but the security wouldn't let me talk to you. I've got to go. The plane's boarding. I'll miss."  
  
Click.  
  
"Yuki? YUKI!"  
  
I dropped the phone onto the ground with a clatter. It was the end. She had won this time. She had managed to take away everything he loved. At the same time she had taken away all that I had left-my family. We were like those cards that leaned against each other holding our house together, a united front. Slowly pull one away and the rest tumble taking down the rest. What was there left fro me now. All I could ever do was bring hurt and paint to those most. I knew what I had to do. It was the only way.  
  
I picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"I need to see you." 


	26. Ever After Doesn't Last Forever

Disclaimer: I do not own HYD or any of its characters, but I wish I did. Well, at least I sorta own the very hot reformed bad boy Haru.  
  
Chapter 26: Ever After Doesn't Last Forever  
  
Two roads diverged in a wood  
  
And I took the one less traveled by  
  
And that has made the difference.  
  
-Robert Frost  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I briskly walked through the streets taken stolen glances form behind me wondering if anyone had been following me. Finally stopping in front of a small quaint house on a street lined wit similar houses I stared down at the piece of paper making sure I was in the right place. I pushed the buzzer and soon the large gates opened. The front door slowly opened and Etosan greeted me.  
  
"Nice to see you again Tsukushi," the kind older gentleman greeted me. "We've been expecting you."  
  
From behind him Haru appeared.  
  
"Haru!"  
  
He glanced out the door after he pulled me inside. "Come inside," he said in a solemn tone.  
  
I followed him through the cozy little home into the living room. It was pretty barren inside with only a few small pieces of furniture carelessly strewn around the room. I sat down on the couch across from him with a determined look on his face.  
  
"Why did you come to me now? We're leaving tomorrow."  
  
"I know. That's why I need your help."  
  
Haru's face darkened at the sound of those words. "If you're coming to me it must be important. What do you need?"  
  
"I need to get out of here."  
  
"I can't do that."  
  
"Kazuya."  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"He's dead."  
  
The hardened expression on Haru's face softened for a moment, but he quickly masked his dismay. "I'm sorry for your loss."  
  
"Thank you, but I don't need your pity. I need to leave here." I was on the verge of tears at this point. Slowly, I recounted the details to Haru about what had happened. When I finished I found the courage t tell him my plans.  
  
"You know I can't take you with me. I won't put you in any more danger."  
  
"There's no other way. I need to get out of here. If I leave everything can be resolved."  
  
"How? He won't ever let go of you. Look! He took four fucking bullets in the back for you! It's insane what you are planning. It'll never work out."  
  
"It will. Everything will be better once I'm gone. Once she knows that I'm out of Doumyouji's life she'll forget all about destroying the rest of F4. Rui will marry Shizuka, the woman he deserves. Everything will be for the better. Besides, there's nothing left for me here now. Yuki and Kazuya are gone. The longer I stay near them the farther she will go. Sooner or later she'll figure out you had something to do with this. You might be next. I want to go alone."  
  
That struck a chord in him, Haru stood up from his seat not wanting to hear anymore. "I have an idea. I need to discuss this with Fujio, though. We'll have to pull a few strings. First, I need to show you something first." He sauntered out of the room letting me follow behind He dug his hands in his pockets and walked down the hall towards a closed door. He stopped in front of it and placed his hand on the doorknob.  
  
Slowly he opened the door revealing a bedroom. Fujio sat in a chair next to the bed happily chatting with someone. I felt my knees go weak. My jaw dropped open. "Hana?"  
  
The girl stopped talking to her companion and turned in my direction. "Ge ge, you didn't tell me that we had a visitor? Hi, my name is Hana. And you are?"  
  
Haru pushed me into the room. He forced a smile onto his face. "Sorry, but I forgot my friend was going to come over today. Hana. Meet Tsukushi."  
  
"Nice to meet you Tsukushi."  
  
My mind froze and ceased working for a moment. I struggled to comprehend what was going on. How could this be? I just couldn't process what was going on. Finally finding my words I managed to utter, "Hello."  
  
Fujio stood up and gave me a small embrace. "Just play along," he whispered into my ear.  
  
"How do you know my brother?"  
  
"She's a classmate of ours, Hana," Fujio responded covering up for me.  
  
Haru walked over to Hana's side and she began to happily chat with him. The conversed it that normal brother sister way teasing one another. The entire time Haru just smiled as Hana laughed at him while taking a few quick glances at me. My eyes remained fixed on those two.  
  
"I don't understand," I whispered back to Fujio who stood beside me. "How could she survive? He shot her in the heart. How is this possible?"  
  
"Jin."  
  
"Jin?"  
  
"When Haru shot Hana he missed her heat, but it was close enough to graze one of the ventricles. She was close to bleeding to death and her heart was struggling. Jin was far gone by the time we reached here."  
  
"So how did Jin make this possible?"  
  
A voice from behind me answered my question. "She needed a new heart. Jin's was a perfect match."  
  
I spun around. "Etosan?"  
  
He pushed past me and walked over to Hana. "How is my patient doing?" He pushed her shirt down a little revealing a large bandaged scar over her chest.  
  
"Much better today!" she cheerily replied.  
  
"Well you should still get your rest. You're not fully healed yet, he laughed patting her on the head.  
  
"I'm too excited to rest! We're leaving tomorrow! Ge ge promised to take me to the beach."  
  
"That's all and well, but you need to rest," he softly scolded. "Everyone should get out. Hana needs to rest because tomorrow is going to be a busy day." His face turned cold for a moment, but quickly he recovered. "Everybody out!"  
  
Everyone filed out leaving me last to close the door. Before stepped out the door a voice called out after me.  
  
"Tsukushi!"  
  
I spun around wondering what she could have to say to me.  
  
"It was nice to meet you. I hope we meet again one day. I can tell my brother likes you. Can we be friends?"  
  
It was like déjà vu. Was it all some sick trick of hers? It was the same question she had asked of me so long ago, but this time when she asked there was a sense of pleading in them.  
  
"Sure." I weakly let out a smile.  
  
"Great! I hope you visit us again when we return."  
  
I slammed the door closed behind me. I looked up at Fujio and Haru who leaned against the walls with their hand across their chest.  
  
Fujio broke the silence. "He loved and her more than any man could love a woman. His heart perfectly matched hers. The irony of it all is she doesn't even remember who he is."  
  
Haru nodded his head. "Don't worry Tsukushi. I already know what you are thinking. After she woke up, she was completely disoriented. She's forgotten everything. I mean EVERYTHING. She didn't even know who she was a few days ago. I decided it be better she never remember. I've only told her a few minor truths about our past."  
  
"He's right. After suffering through such a trauma it seems her mind has shut out any unpleasant memories. We've tested her knowledge and she can't remember a thing. Her training. Yakuza. Her father. Her mother. Jin. It's all gone. We've been trying to recreate a past for her."  
  
"Why did you show me this?!" I demanded. My mind was swirling with a million questions.  
  
"Even if she doesn't remember a thing she's still a murderer. She killed Kazuya. I won't let them find her. I normally wouldn't use my underground resources, but it looks like it'll be necessary."  
  
"Tsukushi, Haru filled me in on what you want. We can help you, but it's not safe for you to go through it alone."  
  
"She won't," a voice said from a distance.  
  
"Susumu?!"  
  
"I knew you would do this. You always try to do these things alone, but I won't let you. Two is always better than one. I'm going with you."  
  
"How did you get in here, Susumu?" Haru asked in bewilderment.  
  
"I got a call from Mama and Papa and I went to find oneesan in her room, but she was gone. I managed to catch up to her and I followed her here. I overheard you and Fujio talking about the plan. I'm in."  
  
"What do you mean you're in?!" I screamed. "I'm not letting you come. I'm doing this alone."  
  
"Mama and Papa are in trouble."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Apparently they've run up quite a few debts. They were laid off from the fishing boat. Then it hit. The entire village was bought out for development. It was the Doumyouji Corporation. We can't afford to pay off the debts with no source of income. They're behind in rent and since the Doumyouji Corporation now owns the land and the buildings one of which our parents live in they've been evicted. They have the legal right collect on the debts, they can take away everything and then some. This is serious. It could lead to jail time."  
  
"Can we do two more?" Fujio asked turning to Haru.  
  
"It'll take me some more time. We'll need to get him here. I'll make the calls. You know what to do with them."  
  
Fujio solemnly nodded his head. "I'll get the equipment."  
  
"Susumu, you come with me. I need you to get in contact with your parents. I'll fill you in on what I can do for them, but it's up to you to persuade them to go along with it."  
  
"No problem." Susumu followed Haru down the hall and they disappeared into one of the rooms.  
  
"Thank you," I mumbled to Haru as he walked away.  
  
He shrugged his shoulders and threw me a lopsided smile, which broke me out of my somber mood. "I would do anything for the women I love"  
  
Now Fujio and I were left alone. He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. Everything will be ok. Are you willing to do anything?"  
  
I nodded my head and took in a deep breath. "Yes."  
  
"Fine, because I'm going to make you one of us."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I gritted my teeth feeling the needle pricks pierce through my skin. Clothes were strewn all over the floor in a tangled mess. Soaked towels lined the floor beneath me. Fujio placed his instrument on the ground and picked up a towel to pat away the blood. I laid back against the cold tiles of the bathroom floor blinking back the tears.  
  
"Is it almost finished."  
  
Fujio wrapped threw the remainder of his tools into his bag. He stood up from the floor to admire his work. "Looks good."  
  
I glanced down at his artwork. "Perfect. You might reconsider your career options. You have a real talent for this."  
  
Fujio looked down at his bandaged hand. "I might consider it. My work is still pretty damn good even with one hand."  
  
"Will you be able to use it again?"  
  
He held his hand to his face. "Yeah. There was no real severe nerve damage. I've already started to regain some sensation in my fingers. In a few months it'll be like nothing happened. I realized that I really do want to be a doctor. Now that this is all over I have better motivation to heal people. For once, someone in my family will be able to help others who deserve the help. I was lucky that I still have use of my hand. Maybe god intended me o have this gift. Why else would I be spared?"  
  
My thoughts lingered to Rui. Fate had not chosen to be as kid with him. His gift had been so violently taken away without any warning. He must miss his violin. I snapped out of my thoughts about Rui. I didn't deserve to think about him. I focused myself on the task at hand. Fujio pulled me up off the ground. "Is this all?"  
  
He looked me up and down with a finger on his lip. "It's just not quite right yet. What's missing?"  
  
I looked at myself in the mirror. "You're right. It still needs a little something. What else have you got in that bag?"  
  
"Take a look for yourself."  
  
I spilled the contents of the bag onto the floor until something caught my eye. "This is it! Can you help me with this."  
  
Fujio curiously eyed me, before breaking out into a grin. "Sure. Care to do the honors?"  
  
"Yeup." I picked up the scissors in my hand and grabbed a fistful of hair. Closing my eyes, I squeezed the two handles of the scissors together. I watched through squinted eyes as my long locks fell into the bathroom sink.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Are you two done in there yet?" Haru yelled from outside the door.  
  
Fujio stepped out first. "Art takes time, my dear friend," he laughed.  
  
"So how do I look?" I stepped out from behind him.  
  
Haru who was busy in front of the computer with Susumu peering over his shoulder turned around. His mouth dropped to the floor. "What did you do?!"  
  
"Well Fujio said I needed a drastic change, so I went along with it. I suggested the new haircut." I spun around in a circle and walked over to a mirror to admire myself. I gasped a little seeing my new self for the first time. My hair now dyed jet black with streaks of pink running throughout was cropped into a short bob. I still wasn't sure about the clothes Fujio picked out. He had to take some clothes out f Hana's closet and I wasn't exactly used to this type of clothing. After sorting through all the outfits I finally agreed on a short black low rise leather mini skirt, black knee high stiletto boots, and a hot pink midriff halter top.  
  
"WHOA!" Susumu gawked at me.  
  
"Susumu?! You're the one to talk. I almost didn't recognize you."  
  
He put his hand on the back of his head laughing. "Well I didn't mean for this to happen, but I had an accident with the bottle of bleach."  
  
"It looks good, though. You like much nicer as a blonde." I stared at Susumu's messily styled hair that was a new bleach blonde color. With the remnants of his tan from the summer in the fishing village he could have passed for a surfer boy. He slumped over a little wearing a black dress shirt sloppily left unbuttoned on the top with a pair of black slacks. He did look quite mature for his age.  
  
I tugged down the side of my skirt displaying my newly etched eternity tattoo Fujio created on my hip. "I never thought in a million years I would have a tattoo."  
  
The smile on Haru's face quickly disappeared. "Where did you get that?!" he coldly demanded pulling me closer to inspect it.  
  
Fujio pulled me of Haru's grip. "They have no chance unless one of them has the mark. They'll need proof along the trip. It'll ensure they get where they'll get the help along the way."  
  
"Don't be mad at him. I pushed him to do it. Fujio wasn't even sure if it was a good idea, but I after hearing your plan I thought this might come in handy."  
  
Sulkily Haru sat back down in front of his computer. "Fine. What's done is done. I've already gotten everyone else's papers done. Ready for your closeup, Tsukushi?"  
  
"Yep." Haru directed me to stand in front of a plain white backdrop he set up in the bedroom. A digital camera was placed on a tripod in front of me.  
  
"Ready! One. Two. Three. Smile."  
  
FLASH.  
  
I blinked my eyes trying to get rid of that pesky blur that appeared after the flash. "How does it look?"  
  
"Good. Now all I have to do is fill in the information"  
  
He pulled out a suitcase from under the desk and opened it up. In neatly sealed bags there were hundreds of blank passports from different countries. Haru pulled out a book and placed it in the printer before beginning to furiously typing information in.  
  
"What's all this?"  
  
"Haru's making new documents for us. He's been busy making passports, birth certificates, school records, and every other paper we would need to start over. He's even booked our plane tickets." Susumu pulled opened a file on the table. "We have to memorize a whole new life."  
  
"What about Mama and Papa?"  
  
"It took them a little convincing, but you know how Mama is. Haru was the one who actually got her to go along with this. He knew how to talk to her."  
  
I raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "What did you tell my mother?"  
  
Haru glanced over at me for a second before redirecting his attention in the computer screen. "I told her as your boyfriend I would pay off your debts. Plus I said I thought it would be improper for the parents of my future wife to live in such squalor, so I said I would send them to Hong Kong to start up a new business venture my family was planning. I explained to them that since the Doumyouji's hated your family so much it would be prudent to change their names and identities. At the mention of the 500 million yen I was offering then to do this your mother completely agreed to it. I explained that you and Susumu would be going away to Australia for awhile to study with me."  
  
"What?! She believed that?!"  
  
"Actually I brought up the 50 million yen first and after that she didn't seem to care what I was proposing."  
  
"We can't accept 500 million yen! Where can you get that money from? You yourself said you hated using your family's money. It's tainted by illegal activity." At this point was finding myself hyperventilating at the thought of Haru giving my parents so much many. My mother was really insane. At any mention of money she would do anything for it.  
  
"Actually, it's my money and not my father's. Part of okaasan's will left trust funds to Hana and I. My mother wanted to make sure her children would always be taken care of. She wasn't a stupid woman. She took all her own money and invested it into US bonds and stock to build up our trust funds. This year I turned old enough to access my account. No one could touch it except me, not even my father. The money is completely legal. Today I'm worth about 100 million US dollars. Hana's worth about 80 million, but she never knew about the money. No one else knew about it except for me and the person who helped my mother make all the transactions. When I turned 16 I was told about my trust fund. It's more than any one person will ever need in a lifetime. I just accessed my account today and sold some of the stock."  
  
"He agreed to help us I see," Fujio interjected.  
  
"Of course I would," a voice answered from the doorway.  
  
A tall older looking man entered the room. He appeared to be around the same age as Etosan. However there was something oddly familiar about him. He had a certain tone in his voice and the way he walked with a domineering confidence reminded me of someone. There was a certain carefree youthfulness about him. He wasn't like Fujio's father who always seemed calm and composed. He walked over to me and smiled. I knew that smile. I stared at the outstretched hand with the eternity tattoo on the backside of his hand.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Makinosan. My name is Lau Junhai."  
  
My hand trembled in his. "Nice to meet you."  
  
"It deeply saddens me to see you all in this predicament. I've expended all my limited resources to help you out. I've been busy trying to calm the rest of the yakuza about our future. Seeing you all here only makes me feel more guilty that we encouraged our children to go into this. I know my son played a large part in this mess, I only hope I can try to help make things right again." He walked over to Haru and handed him a folder. "I've transferred all the money into these bank accounts. I've called a few of my contacts in Hong Kong and Australia. There will be no problems getting through immigration. I called the headmaster in Australia and they will be expecting them to start in two weeks. Housing has been taken care of, too."  
  
"Thank you." Haru looked at the older man with a gratefulness in his eyes. "What will you do after this?"  
  
He slumped his shoulders and released a heavy sigh. "Bury my son." He sauntered to the open doorway. "Seeing you do this Haru makes me proud. Yuri always said you would change the yakuza for the better. You will be the one to finally destroy it. You were all like my own children. You can always contact me if you need help." With those few parting bitter words he left.  
  
"That was Jin's father?" I incredulously asked.  
  
Haru placed the folder onto the desk. "Yes."  
  
"It's strange how different father and son can be. Jin's father was never all too thrilled to be in the yakuza. Like my father they were both waning on the idea of staying in after working for Haru's father for so long. Jin's father was actually idealistic like Haru's mother. He secretly hoped someone would destroy the empire they helped create. He helped Haru's mother set up the trust funds." Fujio took off his glasses and absentmindedly cleaned them with the handkerchief he pulled out from his pocket. "I think he feels like he failed Jin."  
  
The room fell silent for a few moments. From then on it was only the slight tapping the keyboard that echoed through the room. Haru was observed by the words racing across the screen.  
  
"Done. There's just one last detail I need to fill in, Tuskushi. You need to pick a name."  
  
"A new name?" I had been known as Tsukushi the weed for so long I couldn't imagine being called anything else. I drew a complete blank. I searched for choices in my head rejecting one after another. Then it came to me. "I got it."  
  
"So what's it going to be?"  
  
"I've always been called a weed all my life. It's time I find something a little bit more elegant. Lily."  
  
A small smile crept up on Haru's face knowing why I had chosen it. "It really does fit you." He typed in my new name and pushed print. In a few seconds the printer spit out my new life. Haru neatly arranged all my papers into a folder and handed it to me. He then proceeded to pick up another folder and grabbed his jacket o the back of the chair. "We've got to go now if we want to make it in time, Susumu."  
  
Susumu nodded his head and headed out the door.  
  
"Where are you going?" I asked.  
  
Haru stopped halfway to the door. "We have to drive out to the fishing village to give this to your parents. I've already booked them a 6 AM flight out of Japan to Hong Kong."  
  
"Be safe."  
  
Susumu and Haru nodded their head in agreement before dashing out the door in a hurry.  
  
Fujio placed a hand on my shoulder. "You should get some rest. It's been a crazy day. Study the information in your folder. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new life." He walked out of the room and quietly closed the door behind him.  
  
Not being able to sleep I sat down at the desk and opened up my folder. "Goodbye Makino Tsukushi," I whispered to myself.  
  
~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Wake up oneesan."  
  
"Susumu?" I opened my eyes to find Susumu hovering over me.  
  
"It's already noon."  
  
I groggily rolled out of bed and trudged towards the bathroom.  
  
Susumu saw the open opportunity to crawl into the warm bed I had left. He pulled the warm covers over his head. "I'm exhausted. I just got back from dropping Mama and Papa off at the airport. You should have seen her fawning over Haru. She kept saying over and over again how lucky it was you snagged another rich boy. I couldn't help, but laugh thinking about the look on her face if she found out he was yakuza. She thought he was just another rich kid. Well, Haru assured me they'll have no trouble settling in Hong Kong since he'll be flying out there later to meet up with them. Wake me up when it's time to leave."  
  
I flicked on the light switch of the bathroom. I jumped back not recognizing the face I the mirror, but soon realized it was me. After washing up I opened the door to find a snoring Susumu. Not really knowing what to do I sat on the couch. The sound of my stomach rumbling gave me an idea. Thankfully, someone had left me breakfast on the table. I sat down and devoured everything only feeling guilty afterwards wondering if I should have saved some for Susumu. However, the sound of his snoring indicated that food was the last thing on his mind.  
  
I slipped out of the room trying not to disturb Susumu's slumber. As I crept silently I noticed a door left open. I peeked in to find Haru leaning back in a chair with his eyes closed.  
  
"You can come in if you want?" he said keeping his eyes closed.  
  
Sheepishly I walked in and sat down on the bed. "Susumu said everything went off well."  
  
"As well as can be expected. I'll contact them as soon as I land. I've already found them jobs running a little Japanese restaurant in the Tsim Sha Tsui district."  
  
"Are you going back to Hong Kong permanently?"  
  
Haru stood up and sat down on the bed beside me causing the mattress to sink down lower under his weight. He fell backwards and stared up at the ceiling. "Just as a stop over. Hana wants to go to the beach, so I think I'll take her to the Caribbean. After that I guess well just be going here and there just until things settle down."  
  
I laid down next to him to stare at the same cracks he had become engrossed in. "When you were little did you ever think your life would end up like this? Was this what you wanted for your life?"  
  
Haru chuckled to himself. "Hell no, but what's done is done. You can't change the past. When I was little and had no clue about the yakuza. I said I wanted to grow up to be a cat, so I could sleep all day. It's funny how when you're little you believe you can be and do anything. In retrospect, I think everything has to happen for a reason. Now all I want to do is just rest. Fujio has his future set as a doctor. Me, I'm still looking for what I am supposed to be. Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
It wasn't a strange question, but the words sounded so foreign to me. I let out a bitter laugh. "Do you know that is the first time someone has ever asked me that? All my life I've been told what I should want and what I should do. I used to think my dream was to study hard so I could find a good job and help support my family. Now I don't know what it is that I want. I think that makes me more scared than anything else." I wrinkled my forehead trying to think about what kind of future I wanted now. Until now F4, Yuki, and Kazuya always had some part in it, but now that was impossible.  
  
"Anything is possible now. You have a chance to start fresh. Be someone else. Do what you want. Your life is just beginning." He sat straight up and leaned his chin on one hand. "Enough serious talk. Today is your last day in Japan. Why don't we leave with some good memories?"  
  
"You seriously don't mean what I think you mean." I raised a suspicious eyebrow.  
  
"Come on." He jerked the window open. "Ladies first."  
  
"What about Fujio and the others?"  
  
"We'll be back before they know we're gone."  
  
I hesitated for a moment, but the idea of being cooped up in the house all day wasn't a winning argument to get me stay inside. "Fine." As we crawled through the bushed barely escaping I mumbled to myself, "Why do I always attract the weirdos?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hours later we emerged into the street from the darkened arcade. Haru pulled out a wad of papers form his pocket and tossed them into the garbage.  
  
I held my hand over my mouth giggling. "It really must do a lot for your ego to have a crowd of 13 year old girls surround you chanting your name. Maybe you shouldn't' throw those phone numbers away. You never know, one of them could be Ms. Right."  
  
"Very funny," he smirked. "You're just jealous that I kicked your ass in DDR. Now that we've done what I wanted to do where would you like to go?"  
  
I looked up at the clock hanging in front of the bank. "Well, there is one place I would like to go, but I don't think there's much time left to go there. Isn't our flight at 7?"  
  
Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
Haru put his hand up for a minute. "Shit! It's Fujio. He musta figured out that we snuck out. Give me a minute to talk to him." Haru walked a little further down and held the phone away from his ear afraid he would go deaf from Fujio's screaming. After a few moments, he hung up and came back to me.  
  
"We have to get back, right?"  
  
"Naw. I told him we would just meet them at the airport. He'll get over it. Let's go before it gets too late." He grabbed my hand and began running dragging me behind.  
  
"Wait! I didn't tell you where I wanted to go."  
  
He glanced back at me and grinned. "It's obvious."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*  
  
I jumped onto the railing and looked out at Eitoku for the last time. It was refreshing to feel the chilly late afternoon breeze hit my face. I looked down to see Haru meandering around the grounds giving me some quite peaceful time alone in my favorite place in Japan. It funny how I found myself misty eyed about leaving this hell of a school. It wasn't really the school I would miss the most, but more the memories I had created here, in this stairwell. I tossed off the confining baseball cap and tousled my cropped hair. I tugged on my tight black leather mini skirt trying to cover my bottom, which was shivering against the cold concrete. The clothes I had worn that afternoon were sloppily discarded in the bag on the ground. I didn't need them now since I had changed into my prepared outfit from yesterday. I took one last deep breath and pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. There was just one last thing I needed to do. I dialed the numbers creating a three way call.  
  
"Tsukushi?" two hurried voices asked at the same time.  
  
"Where are you, you stupid woman? I've left about a hundred messages for you!" Doumyouji screamed into my ear.  
  
"You had us worried," Rui calmly stated in his usual monotone voice, but with a hint of worry.  
  
I cleared my throat and began to speak. "I wanted to talk to you both at the same time since you both wanted an answer of who I would choose. I have your answer now. You've both showed me two different kind of loves. Doumyouji you showed me the world, but Rui you gave me comfort when I needed it the most. I thank both of you for that, but somewhere in the middle of all this things just got really screwed up. Who was I, but some nobody girl that burst into your lives disturbing the natural order of things. Our worlds were never meant to collide. Sometimes I would think that I was a modern day Cinderella, but my fairytale ending is nothing like the others. I was lucky to have had two princes who would risk everything for me the woman they loved vying for my love. Usually this would lead to the proverbial happily ever after in her choosing one. We all believed we could find our happily ever after together. I've come to realize something, though. Ever after doesn't last forever."  
  
"TSUKUSHI!" Rui and Doumyouji both screamed at once.  
  
I bit back the tears, but soon they spilled out falling onto the phone clutched in my trembling hand. "Goodbye." I jumped off the ledge ignoring the protests of Rui and Doumyouji still on the other line. Gently I placed the phone on the ground and raised my boot in the air. "I'm doing this for all of us," I whispered to myself. My foot dropped like a hammer smashing the last tie to my old life in pieces.  
  
"We've got to go," Haru said as he walked up the stair looking down at the shards of plastic and metal on the ground.  
  
I wiped away the stray tear falling down my cheek. "Let's go."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Susumu wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we strode through the terminal towards our boarding gate. He gave me a little reassuring squeeze nudging me to keep up. It was just Haru now with us to say his goodbyes and give final instructions. Fujio, his father, and Hana had already gone through the gate to their flight to Hong Kong.  
  
"Have a safe trip, Susumu." He extended his hand to Susumu.  
  
"Sometimes I don't' know whether I should thank you or punch you in the face for all of this." He let out a heavy sigh and shrugged his shoulders. Susumu hesitated, but took his hand and shook it. "Thanks.for everything." He picked up his bag and walked over to the counter handing the woman his ticket and passport flashing her one of his killer smiles. She glanced at them and handed them back to him without a second thought absorbed by his flirty ways.  
  
I turned to Haru not knowing quite what I should say.  
  
"It's almost time for your flight to take off." He dug his hands in his pockets. "Oh I almost forgot this. I felt kind of bad I didn't get you anything for Christmas."  
  
"You don't need to give me anything. You've done more than enough." I picked up my bag and began to back away.  
  
"No. I want you to have this." He pulled the chain from around his neck off and clasped it around mine.  
  
I touched the jade pendant. "But your mother gave this to you?" I stuttered.  
  
He just warmly smiled at me. "You might need the extra protection, since I can't be with you." He grabbed me into his warm embrace. "I want it back one day," he whispered into my ear. He released me from his grip. "Goodbye Makino Tuskushi."  
  
I took one last look at Haru and took a deep breath. I handed my ticket and passport to the woman behind the counter who just took a quick look and handed it back to me. As I walked through the gate Susumu sidled up beside me and held my hand. I looked for the fourth counter in the immigration check remembering the instructions that Fujio had given me. I walked up to the stern looking older man and handed him our passports. He suspiciously eyes them scrutinizing every detail. It wasn't until I tugged down on my skirt a little exposing my tattoo that his eyes widened and he quickly stamped our books. His demeanor changed quickly and he politely invited us through.  
  
Sitting in the airplane waiting for take off I watched Susumu squirming in his seat as it was his first time in a plane. He ripped off his jacket and something fell to the floor, He picked it off the ground and opened it suddenly becoming engrossed with it. "Oh my god!"  
  
I leaned over to his side and looked down at what he held in his hands. My eyes widened.  
  
"Haru opened a bank account with both our names on it. This says we have 500 million yen in the bank." He smacked himself in the forehead and leaned back in his chair laughing to himself.  
  
I put on my headphones ignoring his rants about what we could do with all this money. I glanced out the window watching the sky painted in rich hues of orange, red and yellow. The sun was slowly setting in the horizon. I leaned back and watched Japan fade farther and farther away into the distance.  
  
*~~*~*~*Back to the present*~*~*~*~*  
  
I made a mistake when I introduced myself earlier. My name was Makino Tsukushi. It's been years since someone has called me by that name. I now go by the name Lily Akihara as all my friends in Australia and around the world know me as now. It is the first time I've been back to Japan in six years and today is my 22nd birthday.  
  
I glanced down at my now cold tea realizing how much time had passed lost in my own thoughts. I pushed the cup away form me and leaned back in my chair looking out the window once again. The end of winter was approaching and it was fighting like hell to make itself known before Spring would come in one flail swoop beating the season into submission. It was quite funny how the changing of seasons affected me. It was days like this in the chilly days and freezing nights of winter I was most reminded of Rui, my winter. On the outside he could be so cold and bitter, but inside the quiet peacefulness he gave off was more comforting than anything like the stillness of the frozen wonderland. Haru was of course my spring giving me new life and newfound joy. All those years on spring days, I couldn't help but smile at the sight of the new bloom of the flowers. Finally Doumyouji was my summer. Fiery and hot tempered beating down on you with the rising temperatures, but still wrapping you in the warmth of the sun's rays. The many summer days I spent at the beach I thought of Doumyouji. Autumn was always a time for me to reflect on all the other seasons and just enjoy my own life without thoughts of them.  
  
From the distance I heard the faint tinkle of the bell hanging over the door. I ignored it and stayed lost in my own musings not wanting to be disturbed. However, I was startled at the sound of someone taking the seat opposite of me. I looked up in shock seeing an all too familiar face. How did he find me? He had grown up so much the last few years, but I could still see the boy I had left behind so long ago. It was truly a birthday surprise.  
  
He looked straight at me and smiled. "I knew you would come back."  
  
~FIN  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Based on comments on the other site where I have posted this fic people seem to like my open ending. After reading it over I kinda like it myself. Initially when I started this I had a more definitive ending, but as time went on I found myself it took on a life of its own. I thank everyone who took the time to read my very first fanfic and left encouraging comments. I luv a good comment. 


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